Want to see the Carrie Prejean sex tape? Tough, because Carrie was a teenager when she made it, so you’re a pervert.
You make us sick. Seriously, stop being so creepy. Carrie Prejean was just doing what all teenage girls do – she was simply exploring her sexuality. With her bare hands. On video. While she probably licked her lips and repeatedly mentioned what a bad girl she’d been. Who’d watch something as sick as that? You? Ugh, you disgusting pervert. Carrie Prejean was a teenager when she made it. A teenager!
Except that might not be the case. Carrie Prejean’s ex-boyfriend says that Carrie was actually 20 when she made the sex tape, and that she’s doing everything she can to lie about it.
Carrie Prejean’s sex tape could have been the best thing that ever happened to her. Had you heard of Paris Hilton before the Paris Hilton sex tape was released? Had you heard of Kim Kardashian before her sex tape was released? Or Abi Titmuss? Honestly, the Carrie Prejean sex tape could have been Carrie’s ticket to the big league. No longer would she be known as the beauty queen with the slightly suspect views on gay marriage – instead she’d be known as the beauty queen who voluntarily stuck her fingers up her minge on a video once. She’d be a superstar!
But no. That isn’t to be. Carrie Prejean stupidly decided to make her sex tape when she was a teenager, which means that nobody can watch it unless they want to be known as a filthy paedophile for the rest of their lives. Sorry Carrie Prejean, but you just missed your one shot at immortality.
Or has she? Luckily for Carrie Prejean, salvation may have just arrived. And it has taken the form of the ex-boyfriend who she made the sex tape for in the first place. You see, while Carrie Prejean has been going around forlornly telling everyone that she made the sex tape as a 17-year-old, her ex-boyfriend seems convinced that a) she actually made it when she was 20, b) she’s since asked him to lie about when she made it c) it was just one of between 15 and 20 videos that she filmed of her being unspeakable.
And if that’s the case, watching it wouldn’t make you a filthy paedophile at all – it’d simply make you a red-blooded admirer of the female form, specifically when it’s diddling itself with its fingers. TMZ reports:
During an audio interview with TMZ, the man – who asked us not to use his name – says Carrie sent him the video when they were involved with each other in 2007. He says Carrie sent him numerous explicit videos and insists the one in question was shot when she was 20 . We have verified this is indeed the guy to whom Carrie sent her solo video.
It’s hard to know who to believe here, isn’t it? Who’s more trustworthy, the woman who filmed herself putting things up her fanny, or the man who sold the films of the woman putting things up her fanny? What a sexy dilemma.
One thing’s for sure, though – regardless of her age when she made the sex tape, Carrie Prejean is just fine in the eyes of the God who she believes in so staunchly. After all, check the bible – sure, it says that homosexuality is detestable, but does it say anything about horny orange girls whacking themselves off and filming it with their phones being detestable? No siree. Carrie Prejean, you may be filthy, but you’re still going to heaven.
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Chris Matthews says
You guys tease too much!
I was starting to get tingly feelings up and down my leg thinking about Carrie Prejean, and I don’t get those often.
CharlieSmite says
What separates this woman from all the other women you listed is the fact that she has not made a move to profit from the tapes. Perhaps that fact, coupled with her open confession of their existence, shows her Christian values despite past mistakes she has made.
If one’s moral opinions are negated by completely separate immoral actions then who are we as a society to ban theft, rape, or murder? Can a politician who might have taken lobbyist money really tell us we can’t kill our neighbor? Can a blogger who has done x, really tell us a woman who has repented to doing y is less moral than others?
I don’t know, but it is interesting to think about.
LIE says
LIE!!! She was *NOT* a teenager when she made it, she was 20-years old (exactly 2-years ago) PRECISELY the same time she was trying to make her way in the Pageant world…how’s THAT?!?! For her “Moral Christian Values” of being a Crusader……
Her (then boyfriend)–has sworn under oath that it was made in 2007 on a trip to San Diego—-(trust me…they can forensically tell when the tape was made once someone who knows what they are doing reviews it…(and if you think whatever you print on paper doses not have hidden water marks…you’re sadly mistaken too).
So, it’s yet ANOTHER LIE Carrie tells us..(wonder if the next video that pops up has her with her trusty little Doggie in it?!?! like this was teases us with?>).
christina says
I’m pretty sure lying is not a Christian value. Looks to me like Ms. Prejean’s as filthy as the rest of us, but is simply not “brave” enough to admit to something so normal.
Whatever, I’m sick of people being stupid enough to play into these “oh, I’m the poor victim” stories. She knew what she was doing. Even at 17, she’d be old enough to know what she was doing.
Jamaicafest says
Carrie Prejean is seems intent on embarassing herself in the media.
Joke Police says
A very lucrative career these days my friend.
brit reid says
BWAH HA HAAA! Orangina Prejean is such an enormous wanker. And I mean that in every possible sense of the word…
oc says
she hasn’t? it seems to me her actions in playing victim while promoting her book (which condemns this sort of thing) is a way to capitalize on this.
Sunny says
Touching (well this is all about the touching…) Charlie Smite’s rather algabraic formulation to substantiate Ms. Orangina Prejean’s Christian values.