The best thing about the Miss USA pageant isn’t the anachronistic mass objectification of women, or all the tits.
No, it’s something better. The best thing about the Miss USA pageant is that there are so many women straining to remember to smile and breathe at the same time that one of them is bound to say something utterly moronic. Like Miss California Carrie Prejean, for instance, who used the pageant to admit that she abhors the idea of gay marriage.
Which would have been interesting, except that Perez Hilton has got involved so now it’ll be tedious and rubbish.
Question: who watches beauty queen pageants? Lust-demented heterosexual men? No. Lust-demented heterosexual men only become interested in beauty queens after they lose their crown and inevitably whapping out their baps for a grot mag. Until that happens, we’ve got the internet, which is full of videos of Swedish women having it off with three midgets on the platform of an abandoned railway station. Which is better.
No, the only people even marginally interested in contests like Miss USA any more are gay men. The shows are almost tailor-made for them – there’s camp drama, sparkles, more fabulous hair than you could fill a binbag with and, most importantly, a load of women who all look like pre-op transsexuals on a night out.
So, with that in mind, if you were a Miss USA contestant like Miss California Carrie Prejean and somebody asked you what your views on gay marriage were, what would be the absolute last thing you’d say? Chances are, it’d be something like Carrie Prejean’s actual answer, which was:
“In my country I think that I believe that a marriage should be between a man and a woman. No offense to anybody out there, but that’s how I was raised.”
Oh, Carrie Prejean, how foolish of you. If you’re going to offend the entire Miss USA audience, at least do it in a interesting way by becoming a conduit for global anti-American protests or developing an addiction to drugs and relentless casual sex. You know, something everyone can enjoy. Because now, Carrie Prejean, you’ve irked Perez Hilton. And that means we’re never going to hear the end of it. After calling Carrie Prejean a ‘dumb bitch’ on his blog, Perez has now taken his fight to the news networks…
Carrie Prejean doesn’t know what she’s got herself into. Perez Hilton is not a man you want to cross. Make an enemy of Perez Hilton and your life won’t be worth living. That’s right – before too long Carrie Prejean can expect to see a picture of herself on the internet with the phrase ‘skanky ho’ written underneath it in a hand-drawn MS Paint scrawl that looks like it was put there by a hiccupping child with learning disabilities and severe delirium tremors.
Is that what you want, Carrie Prejean? Then apologise. Apologise now before it gets worse and Perez Hilton decides to draw a bubble of dribble coming out of your mouth as well, or whatever the hell it is that he does. We’re not experts.
You! Follow hecklerspray on Twitter!
Julian Mentat says
OK, I have 2 comments, which I will combine in a single post to give you unbeatable 2-for-1 value:
[1] Beauty contest hosts are not supposed to ask questions that don’t have good answers.
Like, “Which would you want me to cut off – your leg or your hand” or “What did your smelliest puke smell of” or “Where do you stand in an ongoing acrimonious religious/moral debate that people come to blows over”.
[2] Carrie, you believe this because it’s “how you were raised”? So you took on your parents’ morals uncritically, as if you were some sort of franchise? So, when the ethics hit the fan and it’s time to stand up and be counted, you refuse to even put your brain into gear?
Well, I guess nobody ever got to be a beauty queen with frown lines.
Annette says
Carrie, You continue to stand up for God. Admit it of not everyone will account to him before they die. You made me proud to be a God serving Christian.
joy says
perez hilton is a dumb b#@#$
he asked a question and because she
doesn’t agree with his view he calls her the
worst name a woman can be called c***
all of america doesn’t think like you thank god
Scott says
Funny how Perez Hilton wants everyone to conform to his views. Yet if one person states her own opinion, which differs from his, he calls her names and submarines her chances of winning her dream.
On a side note how in the hell did he get to be a judge?!?! Was Mickey Rooney or Kathy Lee Gifford busy?
Alex Robertson says
THANK GOODNESS! Someone who agrees with me! And it’s not offending the whole United States because the whole United States are not GAY! Do you think we would have schools if they were? Your comments made me proud to call you a friend, Annette.
Alex
Melodie says
Apologise now before it gets worse and Perez Hilton decides to draw a bubble of dribble coming out of your mouth as well, or whatever the hell it is that he does. We
paolo from venice italy says
Standing ovation for the Californian beauty who had the courage to express her own creed, and from now on Perez’s site, who looked funny (in an american gay-way) time ago, will be banned from this computer. There is really no need of him and his unability to respect other’s freedom of speech. Gays are much more respectful in real life, in fact he’s having very bad comments about his personal war against Carrie.
Miss California should report about the low propaganda he is giving her on his pink shit site, warping the meaning of her words. She looks like the typical American blonde beauty, but inside there must be still THAT flame, reminding people like Perez how shallow and fake their life is, so their only possible reaction is HATE.
@Annette & Alex Robertson, please accept all my love and brotherhood.
Bianca Nero says
Maybe Stuie didn’t hear all the clapping and cheers that Miss Californias answer received – obviously he and Hiton and thiir ilk were too irate and had their panties in a knot. Zbeing scared of Hilton is like being scared of a flea – what a freak – so he has a 10% base of mindless peabrains that follow him, Stewart also stated that miss California “abhors” gay marriage – listen to what she said meathead. It’s as if someone asked you what do you think about having sex with a real woman and you dsaid I preffered small animals – normal people wouldn’t say that you abhor sex wih women. You and your posse are a radical fridnge of communist physcopaths – you were orn that way it’s not your fault. Go ahead and drownd your sorrows in some young man, don’t get jock itcj on your chin again – asswipe
Maria says
I am appalled that anyone should be celebrated and excused for calling a woman a c*nt. As a woman, I find it disgusting that they are giving a pass to Perez Hilton for spewing hate to this woman. She could have lied. She could have given a politically correct answer evading the issue, but she didn’t. She answered according to her beliefs and her conscience. I may not agree with her, but darn it, she has the right to free speech as well as a right to her opinion. Since when do we excuse and celebrate bigots and bullies, and an obscene one at that????
As to the person who wrote this article it’s best not to comment…I am a woman and don’t want to be called an obscene insult. Not me.
JamieK says
So who really cares about what Perez has to say. Honestly, his job is a gossip columnist. He’s calling her dumb? Sir, I just watched your interview on MSNBC. You sir should be ashamed to call yourself a human being. The gay community should cast you away. I have. You insult people of all kinds.
Keith says
Hmmm, She gets a question that any answer is an OPINION. I mean damn, it’s not like she’s being crowned Queen and Enforcer of morals. It’s a 50% chance that you will agree with the answer. And when you don’t we get this crap? How’s that for being understanding.
I sort of thought the idea of being liberal was to be accepting of all opinions even the ones that you disagree with.
She spoke to what her opinion was.
Be glad that I wasn’t the one answering the question.
Would have been a bit more direct, not nearly as polite.
And the funniest part is the little homo didn’t pipe up at the pagent. He waited till he was home and cried about it on his blog.
Sam says
Once upon a time Wally Cleaver and Peewee Herman had a baby, and because the name “Terd-Face” was already taken, they named it “Perez Hilton”.
F. Nakamura says
Hi Melodie,
The Bible says that all food is to be received with thanksgiving (shrimp are not evil) and we are to lovingly discipline our children. It’s important, when quoting something to make sure it’s accurate and in the correct context.
The Bible is an amazing book and I hope you get to read it more in depth.
Have a great day!
Julian Mentat says
Annette, you don’t get it. Carrie did NOT stand up for god. She held that position “because it’s how I was raised”. That’s not standing up, that’s letting your parents use your ballot sheet.
Julian Mentat says
>> “She answered according to her beliefs and her conscience”
What show were you watching? Her quote is “that
Scott says
So you are saying that since she believes a marriage is between a man and a woman is like being raised as a nazi?!?
You are foolish and how come when a Christian person states their beliefs you moonbats scream about Nazis?
Venicia says
Perez needs to QUIT! He needs to just be happy he has a RIGHT to be gay just like Miss California has a RIGHT to believe what she does. I mean, I just can’t grasp why anyone, mainly Perez, could be upset about what this woman said. Why??? Why would you be mad. The whole world is NOT going to covert and be all giddy giddy about gay marriage. SO WHAT. If that’s how she was RAISED then that’s all she knows to believe. Leave it alone. The woman isn’t a murderer. She didn’t commit any crime by saying what she did. Cry a river, build a bridge and GET OVER IT! Perez is just mad because he wants to be Miss USA! It’ll NEVER happen.
matt says
Hilton is just jealous that she’s physically becoming and has a vagina, unlike himself. It must have driven him/it/sexualfreakazoid crazy to hear people cheer her answer.
Julian Mentat says
Scott, if you examine what I wrote (get your English teacher to help) you’ll find that I didn’t say that. And, what you wrote wasn’t even a sentence. And she didn’t state her belief; she stated her parents’ belief. This is why she sucks.
terry says
I believe she did the right thing and I support her remarks,. In this day and age it takes guts to stand up to the enemy and that is what she did…GOD”S BLESSINGTO YOU and I too will be praying for the person and persons hateful remarks aganist such a lovely and courageous young lady. Talk about hateful and they respond to us as being the bad guys…. GOD BLESS YOU…
Cheryl says
I simply find it funny that Perez, very obviously a liberal, would berate and target a woman for expressing her opinion. And really, that’s all it is – an opinion.
Yay for freedom of speech…but only when he likes what he hears.
dave says
With judges like Perez Hilton, the reputation of the Miss USA beauty pageant has been reduced to a farce. Carrie Prejean had every right to answer the way she did. The liberal left just doesn’t like it because she stated her opposing views on live TV that reached an audience of millions. They want to stifle any opinion that conflicts with their own.
Also, many are hammering her because of her spotty articulation. How would you like it if cameras were on you and judges staring in your face and the world is hanging on your every word? You’d be nervous as hell.
Nancy R says
How did this freak become a judge of a beauty pagent anyway. Same sex marraige should not be an issue for a beauty pagent or anything else. I admire her for sticking to her true convictions. Perez climb back into the hole you crawled out of
Nancy R says
Julian, I think you are just rambling on about nothing. She expresses a right of all Americans,”free speech” and all Perez did was rip her apart. I am so sick and tired of people having to be “politically correct” You cant even say anything today without the fear of it being viewed in an adverse way in this country especially by people like you. I personally agree with Carrie and feel that Marriage should be between Man and Woman. God Bless Carrie for being brave enough to express her true opinion
Nomad says
Perez Hilton made an awfully quick transition from respectable pageant judge to vindictive media beast
Sharia Lawyer says
So Stuart Heritage thinks a person should appologize if they are going to be persecuted? OK, then all of the Jews should have apologized to Hitler so they wouldn’t have been murdered.
Mr. Heritage, you are an illogical coward.
Now, how would an Islamic Woman “Raised by Sharia parents have responded about homosexujals, let alone homosexual marriage?
Quranic law (1.5 Billion people), or will you apologize in advance?
Oh…I’m sorry…I’m sure you would immediately apologize for your pro-gay marriage stance before being BEHEADED by the sword.
Oh, yeah…the Revolutionary Founders of the nation should have apologized to King George III, we should all apologize to Bin Laden because he might say mean things about us, we should all apologize, apologize, apologize, because someone may get mad at us.
DEATH TO HOLLYWOOD AND DEATH TO MSM COWARDS.
Electric Spectre says
My goodness. This is the dumbest bunch of comments on a website I’ve ever read. And I spend a lot of time on 4Chan.
Sarah says
What about all those people who think gay marriage shouldn’t be allowed but cheat on their spouses? How sacred is marriage anymore these days? And what’s so wrong with thinking everyone should have the same rights regardless of gender, race, or sexual preference? Why should one group’s religious morals dictate the law? This whole thing is a non-issue for me , I don’t understand why everyone gets their panties in a wad over this.
Rockie Roll says
I think all Miss America contestants should express their political and religious opinions. I can only imagine what these air heads really believe. We should hear them out!
flierpa says
halleluja to that.
gay marriage = yes
pageants = no
easy.
ed wasik says
i wish to thank this young lady for her stance and give glory to god for her words and to perez hilton shame* shame* shame * on you
ShariaWhat? says
If Carrie were fundamentalist Islam and asked what she thought of Jews, should we respect her answer because she’s standing up for what she “believes”, even if it’s that they are descendants of swine?
Or is she’s CI (Christian Identity) and thinks blacks are mud people of the bible (also, not big fans of Jews)?
Religiious belief can always be used to justify bigotry. BTW, I’m traditionalist Catholic and you’re all going to hell because you aren’t.