Remember when Busta Rhymes got in trouble for beating up a load of people all the time?
Remember how much trouble Busta Rhymes was going to be in? There was talk of jail sentences so lengthy that all future Pussycat Dolls releases would have to have 35 seconds of silence in the middle where his guest rap would have been.
But time heals everything, or so they say, and instead of getting thrown in jail Busta Rhymes has to complete just 10 days of community service. Don't think that Busta Rhymes is getting an easy ride, though – if he offends again the punishment will be much harsher, and frankly we'd be stunned if Busta Rhymes is capable of going 10 days in the community without starting at least 450 fights.
People say that your heroes always let you down, but that's not something that really concerns Busta Rhymes. Firstly, if Busta Rhymes is a hero to anyone other than gormless lunk-headed mouth-breathers then we're fully prepared to eat our hat. And secondly, if you ever meet Busta Rhymes there's a strong chance that he'll punch you in the face – which is exactly what you'd expect him to do.
You see, for a while punching people in the face was pretty much Busta Rhymes' answer to everything. Man spits on you car? Punch him in the face. Employees asking for all that money you haven't paid them? Punch them in the face. In fact, we're certain that if more people settled their disputes by punching each other in the face the world would be a much better place. And government debates would be a lot more fun to watch.
Sadly, though, not everyone thinks like us and Busta Rhymes. Some people say that violently attacking people is wrong. Trouble is, those people are the people in charge, which is why Busta Rhymes was arrested and hauled up in court for his behaviour.
At one point Busta Rhymes faced a year in jail, but thanks to his remarkable skill for changing his mind about everything, pleading guilty and accepting plea deals, he's instead been sentenced to a spot of community service, as People reports:
Busta Rhymes was sentenced Tuesday to serve three years' probation and 10 days of community service, pay a $1,250 fine and court costs and enrol in a drunken driving program for his role in two separate assaults last year. In addition, Manhattan Criminal Court Judge Larry Stephen ordered the rapper to stay out of trouble… After the sentencing, Rhymes, dressed in a conservative gray suit with lavender accents, told reporters, "I have no trouble being a good dude because that's what I am."
It's true, Busta Rhymes is a good guy. A good guy who's been pushed into unusually difficult circumstances, like being asked by his driver to pay him some wages he'd earnt so that he could buy his children some Christmas presents. What's a man supposed to do in difficult circumstances like that, other than violently lash out? Anyone would do the same.
Anyway, Busta Rhymes will now have ten days of community service to fulfil, probably somewhere in the cleaning sector. But ten days of work won't hurt Busta Rhymes one jot – he's used to the graft, you see. Do you know how long it takes to craft a 35-second guest rap in a modern-day pop song? That's right – about 38 seconds. Busta's going to be fine.
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