Literally every single aspect of Britney Spears' 2007 has ended up as a painfully embarrassing disaster, but it's not all bad – at least an army of friendless geeks still love her.
Yahoo has just published its top 10 internet searches of 2007, and Britney Spears has come out on top yet again, making her officially bigger than professional wrestling, Saddam Hussein and Fergie out of the Black Eyed Peas. She may be in the middle of her own private hell, but at least by being searched for on Yahoo more than anything else this year, Britney Spears can still take comfort from the fact that she's still popular.
We just wish we had the heart to tell her that most of the searches in full were either for 'Britney Spears' horrible minge,' 'Britney Spears looking like a dick at the MTV awards', 'Britney Spears is a terrible mother' or 'Britney Spears: why?'
Britney Spears has only three mottos in life: knickers are for the weak, never rehearse a comeback when you can just listlessly attempt to wing it in front of an audience of millions instead and start as you mean to go on. Since Britney Spears started 2007 by collapsing unconscious in a nightclub, we can only assume that she takes that motto the most seriously.
And if anything, Britney Spears has just gained momentum as 2007 wore on – head-shaving, puking, botched comebacks, multiple stints in rehab, suicide attempts, accusations of child abuse, shit-smeared magazine photo shoots, car crashes, arrests, speculated unwanted pregnancies, family in-fighting, Gimme More – that's the kind of borderline-tragic year we absolutely wouldn't wish on anyone except for Britney Spears.
But at least all that hard work has paid off, because by dedicating herself solely to the art of ruining every single part of her personal and professional life, Britney Spears has made sure that she's been the most-searched thing on the whole of the internet according to Yahoo.
Yahoo's top searches list of 2007 has been released, and here it is:
- Britney Spears
- WWE
- Paris Hilton
- Naruto
- Beyonce
- Lindsay Lohan
- Rune Scape
- Fantasy Football
- Fergie
- Jessica Alba
Of course, this is nothing new – Britney Spears has been queen of the internet before a few times, and now she's in the position where even a temporary drop to second place would be enough for Britney to launch into the sort of crying screaming incomprehensible breakdown that she usually only reserves for when she's trying to relay a single piece of simple information to her own children.
But while Britney Spears wonders what terrifying, mentally ill-seeming shenanigans she'll have to pull out of the bag to retain her Yahoo Search Queen crown in 2008, let's not forget that there's still the best part of a month to go until the end of the year. That's why we're urging everyone to go to Yahoo immediately and search for 'Dame Thora Hird's Pubic Hair'. Together we can win this thing.
Read more:
david says
to me britney spears is one of the sexiest women of this planet if not #1. she is just a victim of of bad relationships and even worst so called friends ,ithink she is a very delicate and passionate woman ,very beautiful,and very naive,Britney ,good luck,God Bless You,and please take care dont become another anna nicole smith
shawna says
awww that’s so sweet
i bet you’re her stalker, creep
sara says
My god, I think I just swallowed my own vomit!
Would you like to buy a full stop, David? Yeah, they’re those strange little dots you put at the end of sentences. ;).