Are there two more famous teenagers in the world right now than Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner?
Well, yes. Yes, there are probably several. But are there two more famous teenagers in the world right now who have the same first name and might possibly be dating than Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner? No. We mean, there might be. But we haven’t checked. Seriously, what kind of joyless imbecile goes around finding couples who share a first name to see if they’re more or less famous than other couples who share a first name? Not us, buddy. NOT US.
Anyway, Taylor Swift and Taylor Lautner might be dating. That was our point.
Poor old Robert Pattinson. Thanks to Twilight, he’s spent much of this year swanning around with his pointy cheekbones and stupid haircut like he’s cock of the walk. Why just a few months ago, Robert Pattinson could have easily stolen your girlfriend, provided that your girlfriend was a kohl-eyed 13-year-old girl with a slack bladder and a depressing fondness for Paramore.
But now? Now Robert Pattinson is out of the picture. He’s only got a bit-part in New Moon, and so he can’t even get a date these days. Instead, everyone has turned their attention Taylor Lautner, who plays Willy The Werewolf in New Moon. He’s just like Robert Pattinson in that he’s got a genuinely alarming haircut, but he’s also compulsively unable to keep a shirt on for longer than about 30 seconds, so all the ladies love him.
Specifically, Taylor Swift loves him. Or at least that’s the rumour. MTV reports:
The pair have set tongues wagging after they were spotted canoodling following one of Swift’s concerts at the weekend. Lautner was also present at two of Swift’s Chicago gigs, sitting in the front row. According to Access Hollywood, the actor couldn't keep his eyes off Swift and after she finished her performance, the couple shared a hug.
Now this might be a bit premature, but we think we can smell a megacouple in the making. After all, Taylor Lautner is currently the most desirable young actor on the planet, and Taylor Swift is currently the most desirable probable virgin who’s only famous because her music video isn’t as good as Beyonce’s music video on the planet. They’re made for each other.
So let’s start the whole megacouple process now. First we need to pick a clever Brangelina-style compound name for them. So let’s take the first half of Taylor Swift’s name and the last half of Taylor Lautner’s name. That gives us… oh, Taylor. OK, then we’ll take the first half of Taylor Lautner’s name and the last half of Taylor Swift’s name. Taylor. Oh balls. This isn’t working out nearly as well as we’d hoped. Taayloor? Ttaayylloorr? Twoler? Twoler. That’ll do. Twoler.
Congratulations on your budding relationship Twoler. We look forward to calling you Twoler as often as possible until you decide not to be a couple any more, which we expect to happen roughly four minutes after Taylor Lautner can stop promoting New Moon.
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Sarah says
I love them together! They should definitely date, they are so cute!
I say we call them something along the lines as “T-squared” or “Taylor-squared”
:)
Jenq says
LOL thisis so fucking funny!!!!
Paul says
They look cute together. I’m surely gonna watch “Valentine’s Day” to see them as a couple on screen.
jaz says
I seriously dont think it will work out. And no offence 2 taylor swift but i would h8 2 b in taylor lautners posision when they break up coz taylor swift will probably write a song bowt him 2 i mean look what she done 2 joe jonas! :(
Sel says
HAHAAH i love both taylors but this spoof was SO F***ING FUNNY :P
LOL TWOLER :P
Kitsune says
I must be out of it, I don’t know who Taylor Swift is. Regardless, whoever she is, is now unimportant. For now I will only reckognize her as Twoler.
And apparently i’m need to read up on slang. Because Jaz’s comment “I seriously dont think it will work out. And no offence 2 taylor swift but i would h8 2 b in taylor lautners posision when they break up coz taylor swift will probably write a song bowt him 2 i mean look what she done 2 joe jonas!” seemed like almost uncomprehensible gibberish to me.
…
Oh no, it is gibberish. My bad. I will translate to the best of my ability:
“I find it highly unlikely that the relationship between the two will be a successfull one. And no off the fence two Taylor Swift rather I would (H+8)-2=B, in Taylor’s Lautners poisoning when they break up. Cozy Taylor Swift will probably write a song bow to him twice. I mean look (at) what she (has) done two Joe Jonas’!!!!!111!1!!!”
Hope that cleared it up. Wait…
tay_volleyball says
omg they sold mine and my bff’s name! she’s taylor and I’m taylor and we call outrselve t-squared! not cool!
Moonit says
They’re actually really good together, too, if you’re into tons of PDA and flirting: http://moonit.com/blogs/stars/whats-the-root-of-taylor-squared/
duh says
dude, just call them Taylor Squared
bahaha
sara says
they luk good 2gether. taylor lautner is hot.whoooooo!!!!
same name its cool.luky taylor swift. But i thought i heard dey brokeup!!! wel maybe not” not so sure.but taylor is HOT!! MWAH. BABE
LOL1
jeny says
Gosh!!taylor swift n taylor lautner is a matching couple…….taylor lautner is sooooo hot and taylor swift is cute…
i heard that they brokeup……but hope they get together again……i love taylor lautner!!!!!!!!!!
kaetlin says
they r so cute together but if i was alittle older he would look even better with me
kaetlin says
i love taylor lautner so much that i wish he would date me but he would never. by the way have any of you herd about dierks bently
isha says
i love u lautner . u r very hot hope 2 seeeeeeeeee u once
Janet says
Lol,i was very happy when i was heard that Lautner and Swift had broke up!! >:)
jazmin says
talor luther is relly cute and also i agree with all of the things evry butty said