That’s presuming that Taylor Lautner wears knickers. He might not. He doesn’t really wear shirts very often.
Maybe knickers are an afterthought. After all, if you wore shirts as infrequently as Taylor Lautner, you probably wouldn’t concern yourself too much with the threat of splashing a bit of wee directly up the inside of your trousers, would you? Would you? No. No you wouldn’t.
Anyway, Taylor Lautner threw a little tantrum at a press conference on Friday when people wouldn’t shut up about Taylor Swift. We should have just said that at the beginning instead of banging on about knickers, really.
In the next couple of weeks, New Moon will be released and Taylor Lautner will solidify his position as the world’s hottest mostly-nude teenage werewolf. That’s bound to be an exciting time for him, but it also has its downsides. Lautner only needs to look at Robert Pattinson to see that.
Despite all the good things that Twilight fame has brought him, Robert Pattinson’s life has been affected in a number of negative ways, too. It’s made screaming dribble-faced teenage girls try and push him into traffic all the time. It’s made his love life the source of constant uninvited scrutiny. And it also seems to have elongated his face and made him think he can get away with that silly haircut all the time.
And that’s what Taylor Lautner has to look forward to, although hopefully without the unfortunate face and hair thing. Thanks to his burgeoning relationship with Taylor Swift, he already knows what it’s like to have questions asked about his personal life – questions like ‘Is it love?’, ‘Is it a real relationship?’ and ‘Just what are we supposed to call you two anyway? Twoler? Do we get to call you Twoler? Twoler sounds fun’ – and, on the basis of a press conference he took part in on Friday, it doesn’t look like he’s coping that well. E! Online reports:
The most famous member of the New Moon wolf pack got his hackles up Friday afternoon at a press conference for the film, when a reporter asked him about rumors that he's dating Taylor Swift. “What about us?? Lautner shot back. ?The very funny thing is that all of you have seen every single move I have made so I guess I can leave that up to you to decide.?
We probably shouldn’t read too much into this outburst – remember that this is the first time Taylor Lautner has ever carried a film by himself and, coupled with the fact that he’s only about four years old, we should be allowed to forgive him for a few beginner’s mistakes. But that’s missing the most important part. Read the last sentence of Taylor’s quote again. That’s right – he’s leaving the status of his relationship with Taylor Swift up to us to decide.
That’s great, because we’ve decided that we’d quite like both of them to shut up and go away. Thanks, Twoler!
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magnetite says
Is he taking requests?
Parasitoids faking symbiosis, each hoping that they’ll be the one to mature first.
Or something like the immortals from Highlander.
Either one will do.
mschicklet says
You forgot another thing this fame has done to Robert Pattinson. It’s made him think it’s okay to just walk around smelling terrible all the time.