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Vanessa Hudgens

Hollywood Records; THE Premier Label For Unashamed Whores

by hecklerspray staff

Hollywood Records is a label imprint for the Walt Disney Company. Therefore they have a truly horrible roster of ’stars’ like Hayden Panettiere and Vanessa Hudgens. Although I will pretty much listen to any tween piece of crap, some of this stuff is truly bone-chilling. The label pretty much makes its money solely on the [...]

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Vanessa Hudgens Gets Naked For A Movie! Oh, Look Surprised

by Stuart Heritage

Vanessa Hudgens is a whore. We’ve avoided saying that in the past for fear of legal action, but she is.

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Vanessa Hudgens Naked! In The Future! Possibly! (Again!)

by Stuart Heritage

The High School Musical kids have graduated. And what does that mean? For Zac Efron it means becoming a star in his own right.

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Twitter Tuesday: The Movie Types

by David Schwartz

It’s not surprising there are so many movie stars and directors on Twitter. Well, let’s face it, they have not got much else to do, have they? Doing two movies a year, the odd junket and endless parties is hardly the most demanding schedule. So why not spend some of your time annoying the hell [...]

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Dakota Fanning To Make Twilight 2 Genuinely Creepy?

by Stuart Heritage

As popular as Twilight was, it didn’t really fill anyone’s quotient of spooked-out kids who put the willies up everyone.

Teenagers with comically bad haircuts, yes. But Twilight just didn’t have as many freakishly intense, frighteningly composed big-eyed children who look like they crawl out and eat your thoughts at night as we expected. But that doesn’t matter, because Dakota Fanning could be in Twilight 2 and she’s exactly that.

According to reports, Dakota Fanning will play Jane in New Moon, a vampire who ‘creates illusions of pain’. We’ve seen Hide And Seek, so we know she’s great at that already.

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Sorry Kids, Vanessa Hudgens Won’t Be In Twilight 2

by Stuart Heritage

Vanessa Hudgens is so multi-talented – she can sing, she can dance, she can pose naked on the internet.

And, um, that’s about it. But, sadly, the Twilight sequel doesn’t require any of these talents, so Vanessa Hudgens won’t star in it any more. Vanessa Hudgens has denied rumours that she auditioned for the role of Sexy Naked Lady Werewolf 4 in Twilight 2.

Twilight fans will be thrilled – they never wanted an embarrassingly cheesy tween star like Vanessa in their movie to begin with. No, Twilight is all about embarrassingly faux-rebellious tween stars. And silly-haired pipecleaners. And that’s how it’ll stay, damnit!

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Vanessa Hudgens To Make Twilight 2 More Tweeny And Nude

by Stuart Heritage

This is the news we’ve waited our entire lives for – Vanessa Hudgens from High School Musical is going to be in Twilight 2!

Oh, OK, Vanessa Hudgens is only auditioning for one of the roles in Twilight 2. It’s as good as signed, though, especially since the second Twilight novel ends with everyone performing a mass singalong to a song entitled I Believe In You (Sexy Vampire Of My Heart).

Vanessa Hudgens’ Twilight signing also proves that, rather than promoting pre-martial abstinence, Twilight is really all about getting your tits and mimsy out on the internet. Hear that, Robert Pattinson? Your mimsy.

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High School Musical 4 Coming Whether You Want It Or Not

by Stuart Heritage

You might have thought that High School Musical 3 was to be the swansong of the series, leaving tweens everywhere with three near-identical Grease rip-offs to cling onto.

But that’s not the case at all. Eager to keep churning out enough High School Musicals to keep everyone in solid gold bathtubs for a decade, Disney has announced that there’s a High School Musical 4 in the pipeline.

However, don’t expect too many of your favourite High School Musical characters in High School Musical 4, because rumour has it that there’ll be a mostly-new cast. Which we’re eternally thankful to Disney for – after all, the High School Musical cast of today is the middle-aged pervert’s grubby naked sex fantasy object of tomorrow.

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Vanessa Hudgens Sex Tape Not Actually Very Real

by Stuart Heritage

Hey perverts! Want to see Vanessa Hudgens from High School Musical dressed up as Santa, spouting filthy nonsense and humping a man?

Well you can’t because – contrary to rumours – the Vanessa Hudgens sex tape does not exist.

That’s right, there is no Vanessa Hudgens sex tape, so you’ll never get to see what Vanessa Hudgens looks like when she’s having sex. Unless, you know, you carefully print and cut out all those naked Vanessa Hudgens pictures from the internet, stick naked pictures of yourself next to them and make a sort of ramshackle flick-book with them. That kind of works.

Ahem. We heard.

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High School Musical 3 To Fill Cinemas With Annoying Children

by Stuart Heritage

One of the best things about the High School Musical movies was that they were TV movies and easy to avoid.

But not any more. Disney has just confirmed that High School Musical 3 – the final movie in the High School Musical trilogy – will be a full feature release that people will have to save up their pocket money and pay to see in cinemas.

Needless to say, the news has excited young High School Musical fans and creepy middle-aged perverts who’ve just worked out that they’ll be able to see the outline of Vanessa Hudgens’ boobs on a gigantic screen alike.

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