Posts tagged as:

overdose

Ha! Ha! Ha! Amy Winehouse Died Alone And Too Young! Ha!

by Mof Gimmers

When a young talented person dies, it always makes for the most arresting, gruesome spectacle. Away from the obvious sorrow of someone being taken too young, there’s a myriad of sideshows which compel like car-crashes. What is most fascinating about the death of a young person is the reaction from those that didn’t know her [...]

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Jonathan Rhys Meyers Tries To Commit Suicide And We Try And Work Out What’s Funny About It

by Mof Gimmers

A man! A man has tried to kill himself! His life has become so unbearably bleak that he stared into the pit of misery and felt compelled to end it, seeing his precious, fragile life as so worthless that it was no longer required to continue, aiming to snuff it out like a flickering flame. [...]

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Samy Naceri Displays Behaviour That Would Make Charlie Sheen Cry

by Mof Gimmers

Samy Naceri? Who in shit’s name is he? Well, he’s an actor who was in Taxi and Days of Glory? Okay? Just that justify him being on these pages? It shouldn’t matter really as he’s got arrested for flashing, which is hilarious. That’s right, while dealing with autograph hunters, Samy decided to bare his arse [...]

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Kacey Jordan In Attempted Suicide Attempt, Which Is Crashingly Unfunny

by Mof Gimmers

While Charlie Sheen may prepare for his overdoses, his former girlfriend Kacey Jordan, is a very different kettle of fish. A rather distressing kettle of fish actually as she’s been hospitalised after an alleged suicide attempt. Gah. Law enforcement folks have confirmed that members of the Chicago Police Department were needed to responded to calls [...]

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Charlie Sheen Actually Prepares For The Overdoses He’s Been Having

by Mof Gimmers

Cultural spambot Charlie Sheen is looking increasingly like a walking corpse, with his gaunt face and hollowed out eye sockets. He’d be great in the role of the demon who subliminally appears in the Exorcist wouldn’t he? Anyway, while everyone waits for his untimely death, Sheeno is defying the reaper time and time again. And [...]

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Joseph Gordon-Levitt’s Brother Dies Of An Overdose And We React Badly

by Mof Gimmers

You’ll have to stop fancying Joseph Gordon-Levitt for one second of your life (he really is this generation’s Leo DiCaprio isn’t he?) because he’s going to be devastatingly sad today as his older brother Dan has died from a (alleged) drug overdose. This means you’ll want to hold Joseph to your bosom and tell him [...]

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Dave Grohl rushed to hospital

by Mof Gimmers

The battle for Nicest Man In Rock seems to be a straight shoot-out between Led Zeppelin’s Robert Plant and Nirvana/Foo Fighters/Loads of Other Bands Which We Won’t Mention Yet Because We Need To Hang On To Their Names For The Rest Of The Article’s Dave Grohl. Well, nice man Mr Drummer Boy has recently been [...]

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Amy Winehouse Died In Blake Fielder-Civil’s Arms (There’s a “Nearly” Missing From That Statement)

by Ian Dransfield

In a bold move to try and make people remember who he is, Blake Fielder-Civil has claimed Amy Winehouse died in his arms. The problems here are twofold: one – it’s only nearly died, thus removing most of the impact, and two – who the hell is Blake Fielder-Civil? Answers on a postcard please. Even [...]

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Dennis Quaid’s Nearly-Dead Babies Make Him Really Flipping Rich

by Stuart Heritage

When Dennis Quaid’s newborn twins almost died from a massive blood-thinner overdose last year, it must have been horrific.

And you can’t put a price on emotional trauma like that – not knowing whether your own children are going to live or di… what’s that? You can put a price on emotional trauma like that? And that price is $750,000? Sweet!

Dennis Quaid’s family has reached a settlement of $750,000 against the hospital where his children almost died. And they were just tiny children – imagine how much we’d get if we almost died in a nightmarish medication mix up! To the hospital! It’s label-swapping time!

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Winona Ryder Gets Ill, But Not Enough For You To Care

by Stuart Heritage

Now that she’s pushing 40, Winona Ryder can’t really pull off that pixie waif look any more, so it’s time for a change.

And, as such, Winona Ryder has decided to try out a brave new look for visit to London this week. It’s a look that fashion insiders have already dubbed ‘worryingly ill on an aeroplane chic’. And Winona Ryder pulls it off with aplomb, or at least she did yesterday when she got ill on an aeroplane to London and had to be rushed to hospital upon landing.

But don’t worry, solitary remaining Winona Ryder fan – despite rumours of an overdose, your skinny hero was quickly discharged from hospital. And for an extra dollop of good news, Winona Ryder left the airport by ambulance, so she didn’t even set off the metal detectors with all the cutlery she’d been compulsively stashing down her trousers for the duration of the flight (please don’t sue us for making that last bit up).

Now that she's pushing 40, Winona Ryder can't really pull off that pixie waif look any more, so it's time for a change. And, as such, Winona Ryder has decided to try out a brave new look for visit to London this week. It's a look that fashion insiders have already dubbed 'worryingly ill on an aeroplane chic'. And Winona Ryder pulls it off with aplomb, or at least she did yesterday when she got ill on an aeroplane to London and had to be rushed to hospital upon landing. But don't worry, solitary remaining Winona Ryder fan - despite rumours of an overdose, your skinny hero was quickly discharged from hospital. And for an extra dollop of good news, Winona Ryder left the airport by ambulance, so she didn't even set off the metal detectors with all the cutlery she'd been compulsively stashing down her trousers for the duration of the flight (please don't sue us for making that last bit up).
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