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WWE’s X-Pac Won’t Be Watching Chyna’s New Skin Flick (Millions Of Lonely Teenagers Will)

by Mof Gimmers

Back in 2004, there was a video released of two WWE wrestlers going at it hammer and tongues. Seriously. Sadly for you weirdos, it wasn’t a ‘feature’ that starred Hulk Hogan and Ric Flair in a bath giving each other toe-jobs, but rather, a proper grotgramme that saw X-Pac and Chyna grunting at each other. [...]

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Cheryl Cole Challenges Emma Watson To A Scrap

by Michael Park

In a shocking revelation this week, pop entity Cheryl Cole laid down the gauntlet to that lassie from Harry Potter that it’s now all right to fancy, Emma Watson. Harry Potter girl has been accused by former Girls Aloud star and alleged racist Cheryl of stealing her Style Crown, given to her by Glamour Magazine [...]

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Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part 2 Trailer Released (Exploding Things Ahoy!)

by Mof Gimmers

Oi! People who like Harry Potter! It’s the trailer for the thing you’ve all been waiting for! That’s right kiddiekins (and adultkins as well), the final instalment from Hogwarts is upon us with Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part 2 looking rather explodey. In the trailer, which you can see over the jump, you’ll [...]

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Film Review: Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallow Part One

by hecklerspray staff

Hardened critics love having a pop at Harry Potter. They prance around, nose in the air, clutching their copy of whatever obscure flawed masterpiece is in vogue at the time, claiming the Potter films to be quite rubbish – a two-star at best. Well, Potter fans don’t give a stuff about them. And so they [...]

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In Praise Of Popatron: Television’s Smartest New Kid In Class

by Mof Gimmers

Good comedy should always have a victim – even if the victim is the person telling the joke. From Only Fools And Horses taking the rise out of Yuppies, to Pulling savaging the crisis of being a thirtysomething, comedy always works best when it has something in the crosshairs. And the latest thing to come [...]

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Harry Potter And The Deathly Hallows Part I Clips! Watch Them With Your Non-Wizard Eyes!

by Mof Gimmers

The Harry Potter franchise is about to come to a close. Does that make you sad? Don’t worry! In a couple of years, when certain people start craving attention again, someone will make a prequel or something. If its good enough for Star Wars and Alien, it is certainly good enough for Harry Potter & [...]

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Eye Owners! Here’s the Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Trailer

by Mof Gimmers

Do you like Harry Potter? You’re probably awaiting some kind of cutting aside now, where you’re chided for being a big baby for liking a children’s film. You are? Sorry. That’s not going to happen here because, basically, every half decent joke about Harry Potter has already been told, leaving only the laziest observations left [...]

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Jay Leno Bangs On About His Confusing New Show

by Stuart Heritage

If you’re a fan of smug, unfunny comedy but you go to bed quite early, Jay Leno’s new 10pm NBC show must feel like a godsend.

A whole hour of Jay Leno telling reheated 12-year-old Bill Clinton jokes at a time that even allows the elderly to be somewhat nonplussed by it? Brilliant! But what’s the show going to be like?

Well, according to Jay Leno himself, it’ll be just like his old show but with more ‘stunts’. And stunt number one? Seeing how quickly he can send Conan O’Brien into the depths of gibbering impotent psychosis. We imagine.

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What’s Jay Leno’s New Show? Why, It’s Jay Leno’s Old Show

by Stuart Heritage

In May, Jay Leno was due to retire from TV and spend his days droning witlessly about cars and getting chin massages.

But that was never actually going to be the case. There’s such a dearth of middle-aged male millionaires who aren’t as funny as they think they are on TV right now that Jay Leno was never going to stay retired for long.

And now we know what Jay Leno’s next show will be – it’s his old show, basically – on the same network, in the same studio and broadcast 90 minutes earlier so even more people can get contaminated by watch it.

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Lil’ Kim Sued By Odd People Who Want A New Lil’ Kim Album

by Stuart Heritage

As a female rapper, it’s Lil’ Kim’s civic duty to get in as much trouble as humanly possibly, but we don’t get the feeling she’s hungry for it any more.

Back in the old days Lil’ Kim could usually be relied on to cause a ruckus by lying about shootings and getting sent to jail for it or whatnot but, now that she’s a little bit older, Lil’ Kim seems to have taken her eye off the balls. Sure, Lil’ Kim still gets in trouble, but only for not delivering albums she’s been paid to make.

As such, Lil’ Kim is being sued by her record label. Although a little lawsuit might not seem like much, it’s actually an indication of something far far worse than any of us could have ever imagined – there are a handful of people on earth who actually want to hear a new Lil’ Kim album. We’re scared. Hold us.

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