In a shocking revelation this week, pop entity Cheryl Cole laid down the gauntlet to that lassie from Harry Potter that it’s now all right to fancy, Emma Watson. Harry Potter girl has been accused by former Girls Aloud star and alleged racist Cheryl of stealing her Style Crown, given to her by Glamour Magazine for being the world’s best dressed woman
The Harry Potter star has topped?Glamour’s 9th Annual Best Dressed Woman List, beating renowned malaria sufferer Cole and?Twilight actress Kristen… Kristen… uhh… yeah, that lassie out of Twilight?to the top spot.
The other female X Factor judge?Dannii Minogue also makes the most pointless top 10 list since a hecklerspray advertorial?along with Rihanna and some bimbo from Glee.
Cheryl Cole was supposedly so incensed at the literal theft of the ‘Best Dressed Woman’ crown from her walled mansion that she immediately hired a team of private investigators to track it down.
They supposedly found a long paper-trail of editorial emails hidden in the servers of Glamour Magazine stating that the crown would be stolen back from Cole in order to present it to Emma Watson who, by some numerical miracle, had managed to actually win the (supposedly) coveted title.
When confronted with the information, Glamour Magazine instantly folded its offices down to the size of an envelope and flushed itself down a nearby public lavatory leading conspiracy theorists to wail pointlessly that Glamour might be ‘in the pocket’ of a certain boy wizard and his friends, which would explain Watson’s sudden and unexpected victory.
Cheryl, being the incredibly rational human being that she is, has supposedly laid down the gauntlet (in this case believed to be a single Burberry glove) to Watson and challenged her to an all-out scrap with no rules and hair-pulling very much on the agenda. She wants her crown back and is willing to get in the ring to do it. Many celebrity commentators are already predicting a win for the peevish Geordie over the Franco-Oxfordian Watson.
Here at hecklerspray, we don’t like to comment on celebrity fights but even we have to admit, on previous form, Cheryl Cole does seem to have the upper hand and, most likely, the upper-cut. Will she take her crown back? Who cares?
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Gabby says
Emma’s got fantastic style. Well deserved on her part. The rest of the top 10…not so much.
Emma Watson says
Bitch is goin’ down.
Cookie Monster says
Heel, Emma, heel! Cookie will take care of this… *rolls-up blue-haired sleeves*