Posts tagged as:

hate

Lady Gaga Warned “Adele May Want To Eat You”; Lesbian Fan Fiction Goes Wild

by Robin Darke

Normally when we see the ridiculous antics of groups of girls and younger gays on Twitter, clubbing together to form an online “army” and ruining Trending Topics for everyone, we usually want them all to die in a Lady Gaga inspired fire. There’s armies for One Direction, Justin Bieber, Cheryl Cole; if you’re a modern [...]

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Has Justin Bieber Effectively Admitted To Having Unprotected Sex With Fan?

by Mof Gimmers

So Justin Bieber got all pissy when he heard that some lass was saying that she’d given birth to his baby, baby, baby oooh. He told us to forget those stupid claims and focus on his criminally awful Christmas album instead. However, one thing Bieber wasn’t too good at refuting was the small matter of [...]

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Justin Bieber: The Dog Is Not His, And The Baby? Well…

by Mof Gimmers

So. The big news about Justin Bieber is this: He’s putting a Christmas album out that is so bad that the holiday season is going to be cancelled (the terrorists have finally won). He’s also adopted a dog. He’s also sired a child with a woman who kinda raped him, legally speaking. Okay? We’re up [...]

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Justin Bieber Gets Fan Pregnant With Corny ‘I Want To Feel Everything’ Line

by Mof Gimmers

The World of teeth snappingly annoying pop has been dealt a major blow today as rumours of the World’s most talented lesbian, Justin Bieber, has fathered a child with a fan. And not just any fan, but an older fan, turning her into an immediate MBLF (Mother Bieb’d Love Fuffing). Obviously these are just rumours [...]

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Great News – Justin Bieber’s Balls Have Dropped

by Mof Gimmers

It’s awful being a teenager. Your skin starts bubbling like some terrible sauce, your face becomes covered in some kind of feathery down leaving you looking like a weeping willow and, most crucially, your voice starts acting like a jerk. If being a teen wasn’t embarrassing enough (and of course NO-ONE UNDERSTANDS YOU), people say [...]

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Justin Bieber Records Some Christmas Songs And Kills The Holiday Season At The Same Time

by Matthew Laidlow

Even though today is officially Halloween – a day where everyone is allowed to dress like a devilish ghoul and stick two fingers up at God, the occasion has already past. Unless you work in a wacky office environment, they’ll be no badly hung up Halloween decorations. Halloween was unofficially shifted to Saturday 29th October [...]

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Want To Meet Justin Bieber As He Turns On Westfield’s Christmas Lights With His Mind?

by Mof Gimmers

Are you one of those shrieking tweens who just loves Justin Bieber sooooo much that, given the chance, you’d kiss his little face so much that it would drop off his undeveloped cranium? YOU ARE? Good news then! See, you can get the chance to meet your pint-sized hero as he switches on the Christmas [...]

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Lewis Hamilton To Become Even More Morose & Irritating After Splitting With Nicole Scherzinger

by Michael Park

Every six months, like clockwork, an event happens that assures us of the revolution of the earth and the cosmic alignment of the stars bringing summer and winter ever closer. We are referring- of course- to the biannual split of F1 moaner Lewis Hamilton and surprisingly talented ex-Pussycat Doll Nicole Scherzinger. Yes, as sure as [...]

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Selena Gomez Will Probably Die As God Wants Prophet To Slay Her

by Mof Gimmers

If you know anything about Selena Gomez – which you don’t because you’re old, infirm and unwilling to keep up with popular culture that lies outside of being old enough to be enjoyed ironically and post-modernly – you’ll know two things about her. The first is that she’s the beau of singing uterus lining, Justin [...]

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Peru Will Probably Kill Justin Bieber, Not Like The Rest Of You Wimps

by Mof Gimmers

It must be rubbish being Justin Bieber. You’ve got all that money and people wanting sex with you, yet you’re no even old enough to get on the log-flume at the local fair. Not to mention the fact that all your fans want your girlfriend to die. Still, regarding the last note, things are evening [...]

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