So Justin Bieber got all pissy when he heard that some lass was saying that she’d given birth to his baby, baby, baby oooh. He told us to forget those stupid claims and focus on his criminally awful Christmas album instead.
However, one thing Bieber wasn’t too good at refuting was the small matter of whether he’d actually sexed one up Mariah Yeater or not.
And now, in what appears to be an admission of shagging, he’s said that he’ll happily take a DNA test to show that he is not the father of Yeater’s child and then he’ll sue her good and proper.
Bieber, who is currently in Europe (poor Europe) will take the paternity test in two weeks when he returns to the United States and hopes to put an end to what he believes is a totally bogus story.
Ambulance chasers TMZ report that Bieber?s lawyer, Howard Weitzman, contacted Mariah Yeater?s attorneys on Friday (gotta get down on Friday) and noted that the DNA test will happen.
In fact, so determined are Team Bieber, that they’ve directed Weitzman to find a lab to do the test. It is rumoured that Yeater?s lawyers appeared ?nervous? when they heard the news.
Bieber and his team seem to think that the lawsuit that is planned is of utmost importance so they can make an example of Yeater, showing the rest of us plebs that you can’t go around saying that celebrities have had sex with your without a condom on if it didn’t happen.
Which, incidentally, is not what Bieber is saying. What he’s saying is that the baby isn’t his. While he’s saying that he doesn’t even ‘know the woman’, he’s still not said that he didn’t have sex with her.
Oooh, this is a magical tale. Imagine if it turns out to be his baby. That would be HILARIOUS. We can look forward to a shit-eating grin and a subsequent cloying version of ‘Just The Two Of Us’, with Bieber and a baby, making up for that lost time when a girl indulged in a little statutory rape.
Or not, natch.
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JoeMomma says
Of course he had unprotected sex, he thought he was firing blanks so there was no worry about getting this cougar preggers. Well a cougar to Bieb because he’s like 12 and she’s like 22 WHOLLY MOLLY that’s old.
As for the clap, well if you’re a manufactured robot, you don’t need to worry about that.
GetAClue says
Uh, Mof Gimmers and Hecklerspray…. you guys should be embarrassed that you didn’t get it right: Justin Bieber DID say that he didn’t have sex with Mariah Yeater, by the simple fact that he said (and I quote from the multiple articles that ACTUALLY did do the research) that he “never even met the woman before”
What else can a statement that “you’ve never met someone before” be, other than a statement saying something didn’t take place? You can’t have had sex with a person if you’ve “never even met” that person before, now can you? Sooo Hecklerspray, next time you want to make a big-fat-hairy deal about something that someone supposedly didn’t say, make sure you know what the heck you’re talking about before putting it in print. You look less silly that way.
Cookie Monster says
Clearly, you will never be accused of being either a pop star or a pop star groupie. The introduction of the cock of a popular star to the various holes of a groupie rarely, if ever, requires a formal exchange of pleasantries.
Of course we are all disturbed by the thought of a two-foot child star making sticky with a nameless (to him, at the time) fan in a grunty bit of backstage bliss. However, we do have to accept that even a toddler such as Biebser will grow tired of fondling his winky, once he’s found it, and will turn to the closest winky-fondler whom is not in possession of his right hand.
DittoAtGetAClue says
What GetAClue said, buddy.
Mangosta says
I assume you mean ‘Uh’.
MosFly says
poor boy. But consider this,: anyone can lie in defense of their rep right?
Li says
Glad to see Cookie monster actually knows what they are talking about before they post something ;)
Secilia says
He is like 16 omg I cant belive he would have sex thats nasty but I love his song mistletoe … I <3 jb
katie says
Guys, leave him alone. If he had sex, big whoop. Doesn’t matter, he looks and acts mature. He’s a great role model and a good teenager. If he didn’t, he didn’t. Just leave him and his life alone unless its about his songs. And if u listen to a song u don’t like, then don’t comment. Simple as that.. just leave his life alone.. its his life, not urs. So stop freakin out if he had sex or not…. so back off..