Normally when we see the ridiculous antics of groups of girls and younger gays on Twitter, clubbing together to form an online ?army? and ruining Trending Topics for everyone, we usually want them all to die in a Lady Gaga inspired fire.
There's armies for One Direction, Justin Bieber, Cheryl Cole; if you're a modern popstar cum bumwipe, chances are you\’ll have yourself an army of devoted fans eventually.
But what happens when Armies turn bad? Well, that's what Adele is finding out as she is getting some awful things said about her over Twitter recently. Truthful and hilarious, but still awful things.
So what's got the Gaga Army all riled? Well, Adele?s success apparently. Both the stars are up for one of those fancy award thingies (like the one that we won for being the Best Celebrity Blog Ever) to become the bestselling artist IN THE WORLD.
Alarmingly, Adele has overtaken Lady Gaga and sold one in 10 records this year. That means that not only will Adele have a rotten amount of money and we've got to wipe our derrieres on old copies of the News Of The World, but that 10% of all record buying peoples are clearly dicks.
Bet they all tell everyone to shut up when ?Someone Like You? comes on and call it ?their song.? Even though it's about having an unwanted love for someone. It's hardly the most romantic of songs. It's the thing of violent revenge attacks. It's literally the soundtrack to Raoul Moat?s life.
It also means that it looks like Lady Gaga will be losing out to the eclair-loving songstress.
So what do the ?Little Monsters?, the ridiculous name given to Lady Gaga fans, do? Congratulate the ?talented? singer about her success and hope her the very best in her future endeavours? Of course not. They?ve been slating her with some hilari- sorry, horrible comments. The best we've seen is
?Confirmed: Gaga will not be wearing her meat dress because she is afraid Adele will eat it.?
Which is funny, because it could possibly be the truth. Cheryl Cole is thinking twice about wearing her choux pastry hat with sugar strand shoulder pads for the occasion.
Obviously we would normally only criticise someone because they've been attacking their girlfriend Chris Brown style, or if they make Moves (on children) Like Jackson, but we do have a special bucket of hate for Adele, with her depressingly mainstream pop songs that everyone loves all the time and that she's basically stealing the shtick of most soul stars for the past sixty years.
But we wouldn't change a thing Adele, mainly because seeing people get harassed on Twitter can be sometimes hilarious, and is a lovely way to spend time on the toilet.
Especially during a ?distress poo.?
Follow hecklerspray on Twitter or join our Facebook group if anyone is still daft enough to use it
shutthehellup says
You’re an idiot. I hope no one paid you for this pile of crap.
AllPtsBulletin says
Right on, man!
Thing is…I can NEVER seem to escape from the gym after a workout without hearing this dreck!
Katy Perry sucks and while she sounds quite awful herself, she doesn’t sound like a beached whale that needs to be put out of its misery.
If that creature Adele just “Taylor Swifted” (i.e. read) her lyrics, this might not be such a bad thing…but, why settle for only that?
KILLITWITHFIRENOW!!!
Jennifer Boles says
How horribly rotten to the core can one be! You are not only far from funny but rather disgustingly immature. What a terrible thing to write!!!!!!
Lady GagGag and her fairy fag-hag gang can join you in a royal Fuck off session!
The Lady cannot sing, is uglier than a dog’s pronated anus turned inside out and ALL of her songs & faux look is nothing more than aping Madonna. Hardly original. Everyone of her songs is pizz-poor similar to Madonna; if you can read music, understand composing; move around a fret here, fret there, and copy in another songwriter’s work; you have Lady GagGag’s music.
Her rude fairies of following show how immature and unsocial they are. For singing about “Tolerance”…..jabbing on one’s size sure sends another message!!!
If you really want to break it down; GagGag at 5’2″ uses cocaine and other drugs to suppress that appetite and there is NOTHING real about her.
Adele, 5’9” tall, is hardly obese…Curvy..yes. but her real personality, opinions, interactions with fans make her so much more attractive than GagGag. Not to mention her music is 100% original. Her music is totally authentic- It does not sound like any other musician.
But in an age where fag hags and lesbo’s hide their true selves away from society in shame, embarassment, afriad of ridicule and often “closet homos”; I’ll follow a real woman, a real singer who doesn’t have any hidden in her closet. She is as real as they come. No auto tune. No custumes. For my preference; I’ll choose to follow a real woman. I’d prefer everyone know I am real v invented.
Funny how Lady GagGag kisses up to the Gays, tells everyone she’s bi-…but in her real life as Stephie ….she beds down with a man…….
She is nothing but lies, lies, and obessed with gay money, but nothng more.
YourMom says
Are you gonna cry? Awww I think so.
Bennifer Jowels says
Oh dear me, sounds like someone here is one of Adele’s Fat… errr, I mean fans! You tell them fags what for Shamu!!!