Somers Town does not have the far reaching social analysis of This is England or the balletic masculinity of Dead Man’s Shoes. It has some of these qualities as you would expect being a Shane Meadows film, but more than anything Somers Town has heart, a big beating, bleeding, young and in love, scrapping and getting pissed heart.

The story details the lives of two lads Tomo (Thomas Turgoose) – a Nottingham lad fled to The Big Smoke homeless and penniless, and Marek (Piotr Jagiello), a Polish immigrant living with his hard drinking but loving father, who befriends Tomo.

Shot in monochrome, the north London of Somers Town looks as foreign to the audience as it is supposed to be to our two protagonists. Familiar landmarks loom like slate grey ghosts of the city’s past, ill at ease with the its uncertain future.

Turgoose picks up where he left off in This is England with another sterling performance displaying both the humanity and naivety required to sell a character who steals a lady’s clothes from a launderette and ends up looking like a “female golfer” when he’s forced to wear them. If there’s a funnier, more relaxed young actor in Britain today I’ve yet to see them.

Providing our two young stars with their voice, Paul Fraser’s dialogue rings true of everything in modern life – every idiom and reference is carefully thought out and honest. The scenes with Turgoose and Jagiello sparkle with all the enjoyment that comes at the start of new relationships, where everything is in the future; intriguing and undiscovered.

In scenes like Marek catching Tomo in a bout of self-abuse, the honesty and humour conveyed by both young men is as touching as anything between two lovers.

The ideals of friendship and joie de vivre in the most unlikely of circumstances are perhaps what give this great little film such an appealing air. Just like it’s hapless heroes, you want the film to do well from the moment the opening credits roll – it just feels right, and you want to go on feeling right along with it.

Review By Tom Henry

In hecklerspray’s opinion, of course.

Aside from running around on stage, being both sickeningly popular and yet managing to remain devoid of any actual ‘comedy’ – a special achievement for a comedian, no doubt – Dane Cook is now complaining about the poster for his new movie, My Best Friend’s Girl, because on it he looks weird.

What the actual issue is, we’re not sure – he always looks weird to us.

Posting on his MySpace blog, Cook lambasted the poster, whoever made it, Photoshop, his own face, some other things and… well, we got bored, because he’s even less funny than we are on our bad days. Instead of reading it we just went back to the enlightening YouTube videos that claim he steals his jokes from other, less-known, funnier comedians.

Not like that’s ever happened in stand up before now, is it? Just as it’s not like mainstream bands steal from ones on the underground, Hollywood steals from indie cinema and advertising steals from everything that’s ever existed ever. Unfounded, ridiculous allegations. In a way.

Anyway, we would go and post all of Dane’s lovely blog, but it’s really long and boring, full of the type of sitting-on-the-fence language where he wants to slate the poster and whoever was involved in its creation while at the same time making sure to go on about how great the movie itself is, just so he doesn’t fall foul of the studio bigwigs.

And they say integrity is overrated.

Part of the blog, at least, said these words:

Whoever photoshopped our poster must have done so at taser point with 3 minutes to fulfill their hostage takers deranged obligations. They should have called Donnie Hoyle and had him give a tutorial using “You Suck at Photoshop” templates. This is so glossy it makes Entertainment Weekly look wooden.

The rant went on:

The left side of my face seems to be melting off of my skull. I guess I am looking directly into the Ark of the Covenant? Are they going for the bells palsy thing here? My left side looks like Brittany Spears’ vagina.

Well, at least we know he can’t spell now. Just another thing to add to the list.

There’s a lot more of it, but it’s all ‘ho ho ho look at me I’m a funny man!’ pseudo-criticism that makes him look like more of a whiny prat than normal, so we’ll just stick with those two bits for now. If you want to find the rest, go to MySpace and search for ‘overrated hack’.

Anywho, in the list of Dane’s complaints, he mouths off about his face, his skin, his eyes, what he’s wearing and just about everything else about his image. Does that mean he’s resorted to stealing hecklerspray’s material too? We are more than happy to have a go at him for all of those things, you see. We’ll have to adapt and go for his personality as well, just to see if he’ll follow suit.

That would be a blog post worth reading.

She’s a style icon, a Hollywood megastar and a thoroughly beautiful girl. But when the ‘not sexy’ thing she’s talking about is getting off with another one of the most visually pleasing women in the movie business – Penelope Cruz – then, well, we wouldn’t hold it against you if you went and told Scarlett she was talking a great big pile of crud.

The kiss they shared wasn’t a subtle ploy to distract everyone in the world from the fact that all the Hollywood types seem to be getting struck down with one illness or another. No, it’s just a part of that new Woody Allen film, Vicky Cristina Barcelona, which is clearly going to be a great big bag of balls.

Aside from the scene in question, of course.

Yes, the thrilling news that Woody’s film wasn’t laughed off at Cannes – far from it, it received a thirty-six hour standing ovation or something – has got a lot of people convinced it’s for one reason and one reason alone, and the ethereal lifeforce that is hecklerspray agrees wholeheartedly: hot lesbian action.

But while most red-blooded males and, let’s face it, a hell of a lot of females, gay men, transexuals, hermaphrodites and everything else inbetween agree with the theory that ol’ Woody is using the technique of making two beautiful women lezz off on screen purely to get some artificial buzz surrounding the flick, the women themselves seem oblivious to the fact that it’s a really, really brilliant marketing ploy.

Speaking to some people who were trying not to gawk at her that little bit too much, Scarlett Johansson said:

“There were 60 crewmen eating salami sandwiches. It’s really the least sexy thing you can ever imagine.”

Actually, we can imagine something a lot less sexy, it’s just we’re not allowed to mention it here by law. There have been problems in the past that hecklerspray can’t really re-visit, unfortunately. Needless to say, salami is the last of the things to be worried about.

Penelope Cruz, on the other hand, took an altogether different view of things – speaking to some other people, or they might have been the same ones, we’re not really sure, the star of hecklerspray favourite Chromophobia said:

“We didn’t talk about it much, then Woody told us how the shot was going to be, but Scarlett and I don’t have any funny stories to tell about it. It felt [like] nothing, nothing happened.”

See – it’s always the same. Those that get all the breaks in life don’t bloody well appreciate it, whereas those underdogs who would take pleasure in the situation are forced to sit back and watch. Actually, come to think of it that’s pretty win-win, so we’ll stop complaining now.

Good lord it’s a slow news day.

If it’s not another re-make, adaptation, based on a book or a sequel then it’s amazing to see something off any original merit reaching the big screen.

Transformer Megan Fox is sick of this and is making a one women stance against the generic films being exported out of various film studios. She wants to take things back to the old school and revisit the industry in the 1930s.

You may think she wants to don a Charlie Chaplin style moustache and partake in silent films, but you’d be wrong. Instead she wants to do a film in the nude. All because she believes it was done “arty” back then.

Unless Megan Fox has been living in a giant plastic bubble or has extremely powerful parental supervision software on her computer, we all know that – even though the 1930s ended long ago – films starring naked people are still being made. These films are called porn films, or if you’re a bit more classy, ‘adult entertainment’.

After a quick experiment, we typed “porn films” into Google and it told us there are 2,850,000 results. That’s a lot of links to men and women doing all sorts of strange and sometimes upsetting stuff to each other.

But does Megan Fox want to take part in one of those naked films, usually involving seven people with a bottle of washing up liquid and half a dozen boiled eggs? She said:

“I would love to do a movie naked – it would be beautiful. No studio would ever take the chance of making a film like that again. They did it in the 1930s in an arty way.”

We haven’t seen any films from the 1930s with people showcasing their genitals. But because they’re done in an arty way, it automatically makes whatever has been going on extremely tasteful and socially acceptable. Did one chap use his penis as an artificial paintbrush to decorate his girlfriend’s flat whilst she was away at the local supermarket to pick up some supplies for the larder?

Still, if Megan Fox wants to naked up our TV then we are all for it. Not because we’re perverts or anything, but simply because we want to see if the Fox has a bushy tail, if you know what we mean.

Whatever the case, hecklerspray is extremely intrigued about these saucy goings on and may have to spend this coming research doing some research into these so-called tasteful porn films. If we don’t post any articles on Monday, you know we are frozen to the spot due to the vulgar sights we have just witnessed.

However, there is another solution to the question. You see, Katie Price has two names. We’d like to point out that she’s not schizophrenic and doesn’t pick between Jordan and Kate Price depending on if its warm enough to strap on a bikini.

In the early days (aka – the nineties) when she had the body for it, Jordon would get her boobies out for men’s magazines across the land. But they weren’t just any set of knockers. They were mega melons! As big as your head and the weight of seven small puppies.

Then Jordan grew up. Married a dire popstar and wanted people to call her by her real name to be taken more seriously. This approach has landed her a film role. And no, it’s not porn related!

For a glamour model, we do oddly enough believe that Katie Price is one of the only tit-baring ladies that grace the papers to have made a proper career.

Most married men and all women know that eventually, plump and well-rounded breasts don’t last forever. Eventually, things go south, saggy and really horrible to look at. After having more surgery on her tits then Michael Jackson has had on his wonky face, she is apparently happy with them after cracking out a few stupidly-named children.

But what’s a girl to do when your career path is over? After handing the baton over to apparently sexy females such as Megan Fox, she did what any other self-respecting fame-grabbing person would do: Sell out big style and not stop until the whole world knows about you.

We know everything about her and sodden Peter Andre’s spicy sex love secrets and her endless shock stories about her struggle with motherhood. God bless the trashy world of women’s magazine literature.

Despite having a car crash reality TV show which shows us the wacky goings on of the family, this isn’t enough for Katie Price. Like an out-of-control monster, she wants to gobble up as much as she can and become the biggest media whore known to man.

She’s kind of done that in the UK and has now set her beady eyes to Hollywood: The home of botox, shattered dreams and never ending sense of guilt.

According to a deluded source:

“It’s a very good time to be British in Hollywood and you can’t fail to notice Jordan.”

That’s quote couldn’t be more true. Not only does Jordon resemble the middle colour in a set of traffic lights, but her ample chest may also help. It’s an unwritten rule of the world that the bigger the boob, the better opportunity get.

It’s just a shame the producers haven’t seen her appearance on I’m A Celebrity or tried to get their eyes round some of her books.

Still they want her to take part in the making of Elvira: Mistress of the Dark and play a vampire. Quite an odd roll to star as for your first Hollywood job, but it will suit Katie Price. She is quite good at sucking the life out of any opportunity.

Read More – Katie Price ‘to star in vampire movie’ – Digital Spy

That’s right, according to MTV UK, Lindsay Lohan is going to take all of her clothes off. She is going to get completely naked – can you imagine that??

Of course you can. Everybody can. At just the mention of her name your mind’s eye was no doubt engulfed with images of her inflated bosoms hovering around you.

She might as well just put her tits on NASDAQ. The shares would surely rocket faster than her movie career has, or her music career , for that matter.

Her list of sex-related shenanigans stretches further than her labia does during a knickerless stride out of a car door. Recently, we’ve had the sex tape rumours, less recently we had the Marylin Monroe effigies, and a whole host of other tit-related articles.

One magazine claims she will pocket $75,000 for the role in the new film – the character being a sex-mad waitress. Fair play to her we suppose – she's sticking to what she knows.

According to parallel universe theory, the world we live in is just one alongside an infinite number of other worlds. And there are no doubt worlds much fairer and kinder than our one, where she probably actually ended up a sex-mad waitress, a billion times over, and each of them a more successful attempt at a career than this one.

Read More – Lindsay Lohan Strips For Film – MTV UK 

We're not violent people, but it looks like this might be the only way to stop George Lucas from making Star Wars movies. Three years after he promised that Star Wars: Episode III – Revenge Of The Sith would be the last Star Wars film, George Lucas has announced that an animated movie called Star Wars: The Clone Wars will be released in August.

Rubbish, we know – but at least Star Wars: The Clone Wars won't have Ewan McGregor in it, so you won't feel the urge to stand up, run down the aisle of the cinema and start smacking at the screens with your fists this time. Oh, who are we kidding, yes you will.

2008 promises to be a big year for George Lucas, because between now and Christmas he looks set to run more of his good ideas into the dirt than ever before.

First comes Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull, a kind of follow-up to the Young Indiana Jones Chronicles subtitled the Really Really Stupidly Sodding Old Indiana Jones Chronicles. And now George Lucas has announced the imminent arrival of another Star Wars movie, too. If he gets a wriggle on, Lucas might also be able to churn out a Willow sequel starring a trio of rapping carrots just to get the hat-trick.

But anyway, back to Star Wars – the scab that George Lucas can't stop clawing at. Even though the last three Star Wars prequels served no real purpose other than to destroy people's happy memories of the original Star Wars movies, explain the trade issues of a made-up planet in excruciating detail and introduce the word "Nooooooo!" into people's vocabulary, George Lucas is back for more.

Yes, more. George Lucas has looked at Star Wars, The Empire Strikes Back, Return Of The Jedi, The Phantom Menace, Attack Of The Clones, Revenge Of The Sith, The Star Wars Holiday Special, Caravan Of Courage: An Ewok Adventure, Ewoks: Battle For Endor, Droids, Ewoks, the Clone Wars cartoon, the 219 Star Wars novels, the 96 Star Wars videogames and the Darth Tater Star Wars Mr Potato Head and inexplicably decided that he'd somehow missed a bit.  

Even though George Lucas quit the movie game in 2006 and Lucasfilms last year officially announced that there'd never be another Star Wars movie made, it turns out those were great big fibs – according to the Los Angeles Times, George Lucas has the Star Wars: The Clone Wars movie ready for theatrical release in August:

"Star Wars: The Clone Wars," a new stylized, computer-animated feature film, will open Aug. 15 in theaters… The film and series will center on the wartime tales of Anakin Skywalker and Obi-Wan Kenobi and feature Padme Amidala, Mace Windu, Count Dooku and the other characters introduced in the second trilogy of live-action "Star Wars" films that began in 1999. "I felt like there were a lot more 'Star Wars' stories left to tell," Lucas said in a Tuesday press release. "I was eager to start telling some of them through animation and, at the same time, push the art of the animation forward."

Add to this the fact that George Lucas still seems weirdly determined to make that Star Wars TV show and we can draw a couple of conclusions here – either George Lucas has decided that he hasn't quite managed to wring enough cash out of Star Wars yet or he's realised that the only way to make The Phantom Menace look like the masterpiece he wanted it to be is by making stuff that's even worse in comparison.

So what's Star Wars: The Clone Wars going to be like? Apparently it'll differ from the previous Clone Wars cartoon visually – we're promised that it'll have photo-realistic graphics and characters that look like puppets.

So identical to Revenge Of The Sith, then.

Read more:

'Star Wars: The Clone Wars' due Aug. 15 – LA Times 

That's right – more Rocky and Rambo films! Possibly. Sylvester Stallone has just signed a two-movie deal to direct and star in two brand new action films, and already it's thought that Stallone is working on sequels to Rocky Balboa and the new Rambo movie.

And why not. Sylvester Stallone has only ever had three good ideas in his life, and two of them were Rocky and Rambo. He'd make a film of his third good idea, but it's hard to make figuring out that shoes go on your feet instead of your hands very cinematic.

Until Britney Spears records a new album called I Have A Distressing Mental Illness, there's not better example of art imitating life than Sylvester Stallone. When he made Rocky he was a nobody, just like Rocky. But by the time he made Rocky 5, he'd become like the Rocky of that movie, too – bloated, lazy, overprivileged and milking a single idea until it bleeds. And when Sylvester Stallone decided to make Rocky Balboa, he was at his lowest – just like Rocky. It was a graceful comeback for the both of them.

And there's a similar sort of thing with Rambo, too, only with more guns and fighting and throat-ripping and whatnot.

Anyway, the relative box office successes of Rocky Balboa and Rambo mean that Sylvester Stallone can do whatever he likes again. And, as we all know, that means a bunch of foreigners are going to be killed horribly. Reuters reports:

Boxoffice comeback champ Sylvester Stallone has inked a lucrative deal to direct and star in two action films with "Rambo" producer Danny Dimbort. Several scripts are being considered for follow-ups to his surprise hit sequels to "First Blood" and "Rocky." With Nu Image/Millennium's new Writers Guild of America interim deal speeding up the process, the first script is expected to be ready by the fall, with production set to begin shortly thereafter.

Now, obviously it hasn't been made explicit that Sylvester Stallone will make a new Rocky movie and a new Rambo movie – especially since he's been telling people that he doesn't want to make any more of either of them – but we can't see how he even has a choice, because the other options are so stupid.

The reason people have went to see Rocky and Rambo was because of nostalgia – give Stallone a fresh new character to play and he'll need to do ten times as much work to convince people to watch it, because it'd just be a film about an angry 61-year-old man. And the other alternative is even worse – a sequel to one of Sylvester Stallone's non-Rocky, non-Rambo films. Would you go and see Demolition Man 2: Back And Even More Demolitiony? Us neither.

So let's just assume that Sylvester Stallone is working on more Rambo movies – which begs the question of how the hell he's going to manage it. When he was making the last one Stallone was chugging Human Growth Hormone like a thing possessed, so it defies logic that someone so old and out of shape would want to try and recapture their youth even though they know that they're now nothing more than an embarrassing public figure of mockery.

No, wait, we were thinking of New Kids On The Block. Sylvester Stallone should be fine.

Read more:

Stallone back in action with 2-film deal – Reuters

But let's concentrate on the president bit for the time being, because Oliver Stone says that he's got a script written about George Bush, and he's itching to get it turned into a movie before Bush stops being president.

Stone's film is thought to hinge on some of the most difficult decisions George Bush ever had to make, primarily the seminal three-day deliberation on whether pretzels go down your food hole or your air hole. History has already taught us his findings on that matter.

If you're a president of America, there are certain things that you can look forward to. All-consuming power, for one, plus a school will probably end up naming a library after you when you're almost dead or something. But best of all, Oliver Stone will probably end up making a film about your life.

So far, John F Kennedy and Richard Nixon have both got the Oliver Stone treatment, with eagerly-anticipated William H. Harrison and Calvin Coolidge biopics on their way as soon as Oliver Stone has run out of any better ideas. And since Oliver Stone's 'better ideas' include both Alexander and World Trade Center, you probably shouldn't hold your breath.

And another one of Oliver Stone's brilliant ideas is to make a film about President George W Bush. And make it now, damnit! Speaking to Daily Variety, Oliver Stone laid out his plans for the George Bush movie:

Stone, an outspoken critic of the Bush administration's invasion of Iraq, told the trade publication he's not looking to make an anti-Bush polemic. He said he wants "a fair, true portrait of the man. How did Bush go from being an alcoholic bum to the most powerful figure in the world?" … Stone told Daily Variety that "Bush" is "a behind-the-scenes approach, similar to 'Nixon,' to give a sense of what it's like to be in his skin." It will "contain surprises for Bush supporters and his detractors," he said.

Now, as good an idea as it might seem to make a movie about an outgoing president – especially one as spectacularly unpopular as George Bush – it's worth remembering that both JFK and Nixon were made decades after the events they depicted, allowing Oliver Stone some perspective on the people the movies focused on. But Oliver Stone wants Bush to be released when George Bush is still president and all pushed up in everyone's face like a safari park monkey that won't let go of your windscreen even though you've got the wipers turned on full blast. 

The point being that without a bit of room between Bush's presidency and the movie's release, Bush might end up as a bad daytime TV biopic or, worse, a Michael Moore film with actors instead of an annoyingly patronising fat bloke shouting at a building.

Still, we'll get to see what Bush is like just as soon as Oliver Stone gets the finance to put it together. And if it's a tenth as good as Alexander… well, if it's a tenth as good as Alexander it'd probably kill everyone who watches it stone dead. Seriously, have you seen Alexander?

Read more: 

Oliver Stone Looks to Direct 'Bush' - AP 

And this year the Cannes Film Festival is going to be extra special because the head of the Cannes jury has been announced as Sean Penn. As one of the most respected actors and directors working in Hollywood today, Sean Penn's appointment will mean that the movie he awards his prize to will get an even bigger publicity boost than usual. It also means that anyone who's recently made a movie that's funny, uplifting, deft or about anything other than how terrible the Iraq war is should probably stay at home this year because they ain't winning jack.

2008 is going to be Sean Penn's special year for awards. That's not saying a lot because Sean Penn wins awards every year – in 2003 he won an Oscar for Mystic River, in 2006 he won the prestigious World's Most Gloomily Humourless Bastard award and he's the current California State champion for that Nintendo Wii game where you ride a cow around knocking over scarecrows.

But this year – this year is certainly different. Although nobody went to see it, the Sean Penn-directed Into The Wild has emerged as quite the Oscar front-runner, picking up Screen Actors Guild nominations and Critics Choice nominations for its visceral portrayal of an annoying boy dying in the snow really slowly.

And now Sean Penn gets to award awards to other films too, because he's just been named as the head of this year's Cannes jury. And, as expected, Sean Penn accepted his appointment with a statement so needlessly wordy it looks like he must have destroyed a thesaurus just writing it:

"It seems there has been a rejuvenation of cinema building worldwide; increasingly thoughtful, provocative, moving, and imaginative films by talented filmmakers: that a new generation of filmmaking may have begun. The Cannes Film Festival has long been the epicentre in the discovery of those new waves of filmmakers from all over the world. I very much look forward to participating in this year's festival as president of the jury."

So what can we expect from Sean Penn's tenure as president of the jury at this year's Cannes Festival? Hard to say at the moment, but knowing that Penn likes brooding, intense, heavy-handed dramas with serious messages, we wouldn't be surprised if he opts for Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach. That came out this year, right?

Read more: 

Sean Penn to head Cannes Film Festival jury – Reuters 

But so far this awards season, something has been up. The Sean Penn-directed Into The Wild hasn't been winning any awards, with all the gongs instead either going to There Will Be Blood or No Country For Old Men. Worried that Sean Penn is losing his magical touch? Don't be – the annual Critics' Choice award nominations have been revealed and Into The Wild has smashed itself into contention, getting nods for Best Picture, Best Actor and Best Director, along with four others. However, it should be noted that the Critics' Choice awards also gave five nominations to Hairspray, so there's every chance that the voting panel is made up of buck-toothed idiots.

When it comes to awards, there's nothing that voters like more than performances so intense that you the think the actor is going to throw up or get a nosebleed or poo themselves at the climax of each scene they're in.

And nobody does that better that Sean Penn, a man so award-friendly that he may as well be suspended above the stage for the duration of the next Oscars while audience-members pelt him relentlessly with golden statuettes until he passes out from all the glory.

But Sean Penn hasn't starred in any films this year, so what are award voters supposed to do? Simple, they'll find whatever he has done and throw awards at that instead. That could be the reason why the French animation Persepolis – featuring the voice talents of one S. Penn – has been routinely beating the likes of Ratatouille in the awards announced so far, and it could also explain all the Critics' Choice award nominations for Into The Wild.

Up until now, awards season has been dominated by two films – There Will Be Blood, which won big at the LA Film Critics association awards, and No Country For Old Men, which has won a raft of New York Film Critics Circle and National Board Of Review awards.

That left no room for Into The Wild – a intense, soul-searching film about, um, the wild and shit – until now. The Critics' Choice awards have nominated Into The Wild for Best Picture, Best Actor, Best Supporting Actor, Best Supporting Actress, Best Director, Best Writer and Best Song, for a song by Pearl Jam which makes us wonder if we should perhaps ask for a recount.

Into The Wild has edged out its closest competitor teenage pregnancy comedy Juno, which received six Critics' Choice nominations. Other highly nominated movies included Atonement, Michael Clayton, No Country For Old Men and Hairspray, with five nominations apiece.

This would normally be the point where we listed all the Critics' Choice award nominations in full but if, like us, all this punishing onslaught of movie awards and nominations is making you wish that film had never been invented and that we should all just waggle coloured rags tied to sticks around for entertainment in the future, you'd probably prefer it if we just linked to them instead.

Read more:

Critics' Choice Award Nominations 

It is a rule generally acknowledged that anyone who starts a hecklerspray article with the words 'it is a rule generally acknowledged' must be slapped around the face with a bag of animal poo until the end of the working day.

Another one of those rule-acknowledgey things is that – in general – Christmas films are rubbish. Sure, there are classics like It's A Wonderful Life, but just compare those to the legions of dregs like Santa Claus: The Movie, Surviving Christmas or Platoon 2: Do You Take Napalm With Your Mince Pies, You Fucking Commies? Huh? Do You? WELL?

Someone hasn't told Sylvester Stallone's BROTHER this, however. His upcoming movie is a Christmas flick, you see… and he's mightily chuffered about it.

The movie has even restored Sylvester Stallone's BROTHER's faith in his career. Just listen to the man:

"At first I was a little leery because I had all but given up on the film business after almost 60 films. I wasn't getting any work and I couldn't find an agent and no one seemed to show any interest."

Now? Now everything's all better. He's happy with being THE BROTHER OF A silver-screen slurrer again. Why? Because:

"Working on Fred Claus was a delightful experience. I wish all film sets were as joyful."

Fred Claus? The same Fred Claus that stars Vince Vaughn and Paul Giamatti, and is currently getting reviews about as favourable as a double screening of Brokeback Mountain and My Beautiful Laundrette at an Alabama drive-in? Yep. That's the one.

Oh well – as long as the muscly fool's BROTHER is happy. And doesn't get HIS BROTHER to make any more Rocky sequels. Hecklerspray is far more concerned with the general consensus – that Vaughn and Giamatti should go back to making decent movies. Hey – we were actually going to say that was a 'rule generally acknowledged', but luckily got away with it.

Hang on a second. How did this article start again?

Oh, for god's sake. Alright, let's get this over with. Laverty! Hyde! Lindseth! Laidlow! 

And Heritage? None of that penguin shit this time – a) I don't know where you get it from, and b) it really stings, man.