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Here at hecklerspray we have so much sweet love to give, that there’s not enough humans to satisfy our seemingly unquenchable libido.
Sure we’ve considered bestiality but we are sticklers for social etiquette and we’ve heard that being balls deep in a penguin is something of a no-no.
So far the closest we’ve come was to let a woodlouse crawl on our male/female parts. Yes. We have both. However, we’ve compiled a list of non-human totty that we just wouldn’t be able to resist.
Do you know who Jo Calderone is? No. Well it’s Lady Gaga in men’s underpants. Okay? And when GaGa dons some skiddy briefs, drops the ‘s’ from ‘she’, all kinds of mischief can be had, including trying to molest Britney Spears who still has the look of a mental ward about her.
Great scenes, especially given that Jo Calderone is an anagram of ‘Cajole Drone’ – the only sensible suggestion we’ve got for an analogy concerning this pair mating (or ‘Re: Jade Colon’).
Calderone presented Britney Spears with the Michael Jackson Video Vanguard award (no idea what that means) and tried to dry-hump the awardee on-stage before nipping off to the men’s toilets do urinate everywhere that isn’t the urinal itself. That’s impressive staying in character.
Hecklerspray truly believes there will come a day when we’ll wake up and stand on a conveyor belt. First we’ll slide past the pee station, then we’ll brush our teeth, we’ll choose a daily gender and then we’ll probably eat some porridge that a robot made for us.
Perhaps the pee station should be after the gender changing one – it’d be more convenient that way if we’re too tired to pull down our pants after being girls the day before.
Until that day, everyone except Mariah Carey‘ll just have to live with what God or scalpel has given us.
