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Dog The Bounty Hunter

Nas Turns Into Dog The Bounty Hunter, Sort Of

by Matthew Laidlow

As you’re all probably aware, there is a slight stink being fussed up about Dog The Bounty Hunter and what he said about his son’s girlfriend, thanks to his use of the word ‘nigger’ and how much it offends people.

So now you’d imagine that anyone who wants to escape with their career intact would avoid using that word in public like the plague, wouldn’t you? You should try explaining that to Nas, who’s decided to step into this odd situation. Not that anyone seems to have noticed, mind you. Nas is bringing out a record that’s tediously called Nigger. How convenient.

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Dog The Bounty Hunter Forgives Racism-Taping Son

by Stuart Heritage

If there’s one thing sadder than seeing a grown man cry, it’s seeing an overgrown, bright-orange man with a preposterous blonde mullet and leather waistcoat combination crying.

And if there’s anything sadder than that, it’s seeing an overgrown, bright-orange man with a preposterous blonde mullet and leather waistcoat combination openly wonder if he should commit suicide or bury himself in an unmarked grave like the slaves, which is how Dog The Bounty Hunter has spent most of this week to atone for the tape of him being racist about his son’s black girlfriend. But even though his career is in tatters and he’s become something of a public hate figure, Dog The Bounty Hunter says he’s forgiven the son who shopped him in, and wants to prove his forgiveness by only spraying three full cans of bear mace into his son’s face next time they meet, when the traditional family greeting involves five.

If there's one thing sadder than seeing a grown man cry, it's seeing an overgrown, bright-orange man with a preposterous blonde mullet and leather waistcoat combination crying. And if there's anything sadder than that, it's seeing an overgrown, bright-orange man with a preposterous blonde mullet and leather waistcoat combination openly wonder if he should commit suicide or bury himself in an unmarked grave like the slaves, which is how Dog The Bounty Hunter has spent most of this week to atone for the tape of him being racist about his son's black girlfriend. But even though his career is in tatters and he's become something of a public hate figure, Dog The Bounty Hunter says he's forgiven the son who shopped him in, and wants to prove his forgiveness by only spraying three full cans of bear mace into his son's face next time they meet, when the traditional family greeting involves five.
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Dog The Bounty Hunter In ‘Not Black’ Shock

by Stuart Heritage

When Dog The Bounty Hunter was taped calling his son’s black girlfriend a ‘nigger’, the global shock was palpable – not just because of the hateful language but because most people assumed that Dog The Bounty Hunter was black himself.

It’s true. OK, admittedly Dog The Bounty Hunter is a 15-foot-tall, bleach-blonde mulleted redneck who makes his living shooting minor criminals in the face with bear mace and very obviously has white skin, so it might be a stretch to see Dog as black, but that’s how Dog The Bounty Hunter described himself in his first post-scandal TV interview. But it’s OK, because Dog The Bounty Hunter has learnt that he isn’t actually black – which is good because if he was then he’d hate himself and have to spray mace at his own eyes, then manhandle himself a bit while shouting ‘bra’ into his own face over and over again. And that’d just be weird.

When Dog The Bounty Hunter was taped calling his son's black girlfriend a 'nigger', the global shock was palpable - not just because of the hateful language but because most people assumed that Dog The Bounty Hunter was black himself. It's true. OK, admittedly Dog The Bounty Hunter is a 15-foot-tall, bleach-blonde mulleted redneck who makes his living shooting minor criminals in the face with bear mace and very obviously has white skin, so it might be a stretch to see Dog as black, but that's how Dog The Bounty Hunter described himself in his first post-scandal TV interview. But it's OK, because Dog The Bounty Hunter has learnt that he isn't actually black - which is good because if he was then he'd hate himself and have to spray mace at his own eyes, then manhandle himself a bit while shouting 'bra' into his own face over and over again. And that'd just be weird.
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Advertisers Run Away From Dog The Bounty Hunter

by Stuart Heritage

In the past when Dog The Bounty Hunter faced a problem he’d grind his scrotumy face into a snarl, spray the problem in the eyes with bear mace and repeat the word ‘bra’ at the problem until it started sobbing like a girl.

But some problems are just too big for one man, even a man whose arms and hair are made of asteroid rock and angel tears respectively. And ever since Dog The Bounty Hunter found a tape of himself angrily telling his son that he didn’t like her girlfriend because she was a ‘nigger’, he knows that only too well. After A&E suspended Dog The Bounty Hunter following his racist outburst, a major company has also decide to stop advertising on his show. Still, Dog The Bounty Hunter will have the last laugh – because that advertiser is going to see its undereducated redneck demographic plummet any day now.

In the past when Dog The Bounty Hunter faced a problem he'd grind his scrotumy face into a snarl, spray the problem in the eyes with bear mace and repeat the word 'bra' at the problem until it started sobbing like a girl. But some problems are just too big for one man, even a man whose arms and hair are made of asteroid rock and angel tears respectively. And ever since Dog The Bounty Hunter found a tape of himself angrily telling his son that he didn't like her girlfriend because she was a 'nigger', he knows that only too well. After A&E suspended Dog The Bounty Hunter following his racist outburst, a major company has also decide to stop advertising on his show. Still, Dog The Bounty Hunter will have the last laugh - because that advertiser is going to see its undereducated redneck demographic plummet any day now.
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Dog The Big Racist Bounty Hunter Way Too Racist For TV

by Stuart Heritage

Here’s a surprise – Dog The Bounty Hunter might be a teensy bit racist, in that he’s been taped furiously demanding that his son break up with his black girlfriend because he doesn’t much care for ‘niggers’.

Frankly we’re stunned. Who’d have thought that a man named after an animal, who makes his living by chasing wanted criminals and then attacking them with bear mace, who dresses like he’s going to a monster truck convention on the moon 20 years ago, and who constantly refers to people as ‘bra’ could even be slightly racist. But it turns out that Dog The Bounty Hunter is racist, and as a result his American broadcaster A&E has decided not to make his show any more. Hopefully Dog The Bounty Hunter isn’t too sad about this – because we’ve heard rumours that he cries tears of red-hot magma, and that would never do.

Here's a surprise - Dog The Bounty Hunter might be a teensy bit racist, in that he's been taped furiously demanding that his son break up with his black girlfriend because he doesn't much care for 'niggers'. Frankly we're stunned. Who'd have thought that a man named after an animal, who makes his living by chasing wanted criminals and then attacking them with bear mace, who dresses like he's going to a monster truck convention on the moon 20 years ago, and who constantly refers to people as 'bra' could even be slightly racist. But it turns out that Dog The Bounty Hunter is racist, and as a result his American broadcaster A&E has decided not to make his show any more. Hopefully Dog The Bounty Hunter isn't too sad about this - because we've heard rumours that he cries tears of red-hot magma, and that would never do.
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