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Doctor Who

WEBTHUMP! October 7 2009

by Stuart Heritage

10 – Want a 14-inch television? Then go and kill 83,000 rats like this man did – Geekologie 9 – Here’s a frankly incredible music festival in London that you should all go to – Freshonthenet 8 – Important boot news – Interestment 7 – Like Doctor Who? Like Doctor Who enough to watch an [...]

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TV Review: Law & Order: UK, ITV1, 23/02

by Keith Emmerson

Michael Barrymore, Les Dennis, Shane Richie, Keith Chegwin, Bobby Davro, Bradley Walsh. What do they all have in common?

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David Tennant Has Had Enough Of This Poxy Doctor Who Lark

by Stuart Heritage

Over the last few years David Tennant has firmly established himself as the most irritatingly wacky gonk-faced Doctor Who ever.

But all good things have to come to an end at some point, and that’s why David Tennant yesterday confirmed everyone’s worst fears – he’s making four more Doctor Who specials. No, that’s not it. We meant to say that after making his four Doctor Who specials, David Tennant is going to leave Doctor Who.

It was a sad announcement, and it’s left Doctor Who fans profoundly upset. But at the same time, the news has also kickstarted speculation over who’ll become the next Doctor Who. Finding an actor who can encapsulate David Tennant’s bravery, enthusiasm and range of zany facial expressions won’t be too hard, though, and we hear that fictional 1980s cartoon puppy Scrappy Doo is top of everyone’s wishlist.

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Doctor Who: The Movie, Now With Added Catherine Zeta Jones

by Stuart Heritage

Let’s play a game of News Gets Worse. We’ll start – David Tennant is keen to make a Doctor Who movie in the next few years.

That’s not terrible news – David Tennant will get to be in a film, it’ll increase the international visibility of Doctor Who and it’d be a lovely gift for all the British fans who’ve stuck by Doctor Who through thick and thin. But now let’s play News Gets Worse: outgoing Doctor Who showrunner Russell T Davies wants Catherine Zeta Jones to play the Doctor’s assistant in the movie.

Actually, Catherine Zeta Jones in a Doctor Who movie isn’t as bad as it sounds. After all, she already has great chemistry with 900-year-old men… because she’s married to Michael Douglas! And she’d never be frightened of evil creepy wrinkly aliens like Davros… because she’s married to Michael Douglas! Honestly, we’ve got a million of these.

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Viewers Surprised That Doctor Who Isn’t Real

by C J Davies

It’s been said that some people in this world are stupid.

This is, of course, absolute nonsense. The majority of people in this world are stupid – hapless, witless mouth-breathers who drift gormlessly through their lives with all the intellectual vigour of a bag of Oven Chips. Bearing this in mind, however, it still boggles the mind as to the boundless depths of idiocy to which the truly moronic are capable of plunging.

Like dialling the number of a TV character. And complaining when there’s no answer.

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Doctor Who Shags His Daughter. His Actual Daughter.

by Stuart Heritage

Fact: all women want to sleep with David Tennant, even though it’s quite likely that he keeps pulling his tedious ‘look how zany I am’ faces during intercourse.

And by ‘all women’ we literally mean ‘all women’. All women want to rub offal with David Tennant, even ones he’s related to. Even his own daughter. Even David Tennant’s own daughter wants to have it off with David Tennant.

What? Oh, OK, not David Tennant’s actual daughter, but the girl who plays David Tennant’s daughter on Doctor Who. Apparently Tennant and his 23-year-old Doctor Who co-star Georgia Moffett are secretly doing it. And without the whole incest angle to go on that’s pretty dull. She’s young enough to be his daughter, does that count?

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TV Review: Doctor Who – Voyage of the Damned, Christmas Special

by hecklerspray staff

It was once said that everybody is doing a brand new dance now, and that we should perform said dance, known as the locomotion. It was Kylie Minogue who made that statement, and it just so happens that she also starred in this year’s epic Doctor Who special as a delightfully downtrodden waitress.

The fact that ‘downtrodden’ almost rhymes with ‘wooden’ isn’t just a coincidence; Kylie’s performance was lacking in parts, but fortunately that didn’t detract from the overall enjoyment. The special was set on board the spaceship Titanic and, you guessed it, something went wrong.

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