Posts tagged as:

Dating

Catherine Tate Is Going Out With Jason Orange Even Though He’s Clearly… Y’know?

by Mof Gimmers

Jason Orange. You know him don’t you? That’s right! He’s from Take That. He’s really good at dancing. He’s a very good dancer. He’s a good emoter as well. And he’s quite obviously… y’know? Isn’t he? Well, even though Jason Orange is totally, surely? he’s apparently dating a woman. That woman is called Catherine Tate. [...]

3 comments Read more >>>

Selena Gomez Will Probably Die As God Wants Prophet To Slay Her

by Mof Gimmers

If you know anything about Selena Gomez – which you don’t because you’re old, infirm and unwilling to keep up with popular culture that lies outside of being old enough to be enjoyed ironically and post-modernly – you’ll know two things about her. The first is that she’s the beau of singing uterus lining, Justin [...]

1 comment Read more >>>

Susan Boyle Wants To Touch Your Boyparts

by Robin Darke

Dear hecklersprayers, this article contains information that may ruin your appetite and could even inflict some serious mental damage, distrust of the female nether-parts up to and including the Predator’s face. Right, with that legal stuff out the way, it’s bad news for all straight men and gay women out there. Susan Boyle is on [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Peru Will Probably Kill Justin Bieber, Not Like The Rest Of You Wimps

by Mof Gimmers

It must be rubbish being Justin Bieber. You’ve got all that money and people wanting sex with you, yet you’re no even old enough to get on the log-flume at the local fair. Not to mention the fact that all your fans want your girlfriend to die. Still, regarding the last note, things are evening [...]

2 comments Read more >>>

Hecklerspray On… Small People

by Mof Gimmers

Small people are just weird aren’t they? What happened to them in the womb to make them so abjectly tiny? Could they simply not be bothered to ingest the nutrients their mother gave them? Randy Newman had it right when he sang: “Short people got no reason to live”, pointing out their “tiny little teeth” [...]

2 comments Read more >>>

Bieber Treats Selena Gomez To Date In Eerily Empty Hangar While Death Film Plays

by Mof Gimmers

Justin Bieber may only be fourteen weeks old, but he’s got himself a wickle girlfriend and he wants to treat her right and thrown his ill-gotten earnings around at her until she believes it’s love. And so, the two toddler millionaires went unchaperoned on a date which, in all honesty, sounds ghastly. Imagine being played [...]

0 comments Read more >>>

Hecklerspray On Science

by Mof Gimmers

Science is a confusing beast. In the pro-column, it gave us the internet, space travel and video games… but in the con-column, it gave us bombs, animal-testing and sentient Glade air-fresheners. Sadly for science, for every likeable kook like Einstein, there’s a sanctimonious swine or a million tripping over themselves to bray like sarcastic mules [...]

4 comments Read more >>>

Badvertising: Plenty More Incest In The Sea [Video]

by Michael Park

Every week, Badvertising takes a look into the murky backwaters of advertising as we call out the idiotic decisions of committees and advertising companies who thrust their intellectual vomit down our throats. This week is slightly different as we’re a little worried. Normally we watch adverts and can identify the fact that the mysterious hand [...]

1 comment Read more >>>

Hecklerspray On Dating

by Mof Gimmers

Who goes on dates? What’s the point of them at all? Dates are just willingly putting yourself before a one-person jury, being prodded and poked at while you pull at your collar, sweat profusely and babble on inanely with your cripplingly awful anecdotes. The fact is, if someone agrees to see you again after the [...]

3 comments Read more >>>

Justin Bieber Killed By Illuminati In Car Crash And Replaced By Lookalike

by Mof Gimmers

There’s been reports that Justin Bieber has been in a minor car accident this week while driving around in a Ferrari in Los Angeles. Even the police have confirmed that the pint-sized popstar was in an accident. The official line is that there was no injury or damage to the car according to the authorities. [...]

71 comments Read more >>>

← Previous Entries

Next Entries →