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Batman

Top 10 Most Brilliant Acts of Needless Destruction in Movies

by Mof Gimmers

There’s a new advert knocking around which is promoting the new Nissan Qahqai Urbanproof. Basically, the commercial features giant bowling balls being lobbed down a street like the rubber balls in that famous Sony ad’. However, when bowling balls hit parked cars at speed, the cars get trashed. You can see it here -

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Batman 3! It Exists! In 2012! Probably!

by Stuart Heritage

Batman 3 rumours are film’s vuvuzela – they’re so annoying that most people have stopped noticing them.

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Creased or Folded? hecklerspray Tells You the Way it is

by Chris Laverty

Star Wars and Clone Wars. Folded: Uncharted 2: Among Thieves (zip-line! The train! The mountains! Holy crap!) Batman bike leathers (these are either too cool for school or too sad for words. Not sure yet) A ‘state of the art film centre for London’s South Bank’ (so we can’t really afford £45 million quid at [...]

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Batman 3: Megan Fox IS Catwoman, Unless She Isn’t

by Stuart Heritage

It’s Cher who we feel most sorry for, of course. We thought that Cher had the Batman 3 Catwoman role all sewn up.

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WEBTHUMP! Tuesday 18 November 2008

by Stuart Heritage

9 – Oh, OK, here’s a gratuitous picture of the big-faced man who left X Factor this week – Popsugar

8 – The soundtrack to the following video is this: “Badoaaaaah!” – I Am Bored

7 – Courtney Love writes 60 blog posts in a day. But she’s not mad. Oh no – MySpace

6 – A list of all the crappy things that people are fighting for today. Warning: contains scenes of lobster empathy – Cracked

5 – Hey, Winona Ryder. We see you’ve still got that whole ‘mental stare’ thing going on. How’s that working out for you – Laineygossip

4 – After The Dark Knight’s Oscar disqualification, here are some other films that suffered a similar fate – Cinematical

3 – Please spend the rest of the afternoon making these kickass paper planes – Popularmechanics

2 – But what happens if an aeroplane hits a cow? – I Am Bored

1 – Want to make a pneumatic cannon that fires golfballs 450 years? OK! – Instructables

9 - Oh, OK, here's a gratuitous picture of the big-faced man who left X Factor this week - Popsugar 8 - The soundtrack to the following video is this: "Badoaaaaah!" - I Am Bored 7 - Courtney Love writes 60 blog posts in a day. But she's not mad. Oh no - MySpace 6 - A list of all the crappy things that people are fighting for today. Warning: contains scenes of lobster empathy - Cracked 5 - Hey, Winona Ryder. We see you've still got that whole 'mental stare' thing going on. How's that working out for you - Laineygossip 4 - After The Dark Knight's Oscar disqualification, here are some other films that suffered a similar fate - Cinematical 3 - Please spend the rest of the afternoon making these kickass paper planes - Popularmechanics 2 - But what happens if an aeroplane hits a cow? - I Am Bored 1 - Want to make a pneumatic cannon that fires golfballs 450 years? OK! - Instructables
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The Dark Knight Probably Not Going To Win All The Oscars Now

by Stuart Heritage

The Dark Knight is a sensation – the second-biggest movie of all time and easily the best film about a gimp punching a clown ever.

So, come Oscar night, you’d expect that The Dark Knight would wipe the floor with the competition – especially since the competition seems to be a million underperforming films about gloomy people from 35 years ago – but you’re wrong.

It’s just been announced that The Dark Knight can’t win the Oscar for Best Score because it was composed by too many people. That’ll be disappointing for the crew of The Dark Knight, but they’ll get over it – not least because the 2009 Oscars will introduce categories for Best Irredeemably Bleak Summer Movie and Silliest And Most Indecipherable Voice Employed By A Lead Actor, which The Dark Knight is already a dead cert for.

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WEBTHUMP! Tuesday 11 November 2008

by Stuart Heritage

9 – Dear pubs, please start selling drinks this way. We don’t care if it makes them poisonous or anything, just do it – I Am Bored

8 – Thriller: The Musical. Coming Soon. We wish we were joking – Guardian

7 – Bill Murray hits a man. A man. For a change. Allegedly – Holy Moly

6 – Hey, own an iPhone but don’t think you look like enough of a pikey using it? Then you need a set of THESE – Etretouchy

5 – That new Terminator film sure is going to be pretty. Crap, but pretty – Filmonic

4 – Well look at this. A World Of Warcraft user with too much time on his hands. Who’d have thought? – YouTube

3 – Christopher Nolan gets sued by Batman. Sort of. Silly Turks – I09

2 – Thank God Prince William’s got ugly. We think Britain would sink into the sea if it ever got a passably attractive monarch, you know – Popsugar

1 – Pop songs in toy shops. Genius – Popjustice

9 - Dear pubs, please start selling drinks this way. We don't care if it makes them poisonous or anything, just do it - I Am Bored 8 - Thriller: The Musical. Coming Soon. We wish we were joking - Guardian 7 - Bill Murray hits a man. A man. For a change. Allegedly - Holy Moly 6 - Hey, own an iPhone but don't think you look like enough of a pikey using it? Then you need a set of THESE - Etretouchy 5 - That new Terminator film sure is going to be pretty. Crap, but pretty - Filmonic 4 - Well look at this. A World Of Warcraft user with too much time on his hands. Who'd have thought? - YouTube 3 - Christopher Nolan gets sued by Batman. Sort of. Silly Turks - I09 2 - Thank God Prince William's got ugly. We think Britain would sink into the sea if it ever got a passably attractive monarch, you know - Popsugar 1 - Pop songs in toy shops. Genius - Popjustice
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Batman Sues The Dark Knight Over Countless Illegalities

by Shawn Lindseth

The last time Batman was in court it was for the now infamous case Batman vs. Dick Grayson’s cold, cold heart, in which the Dark Knight awkwardly sued his only co-worker for unrequited love. We’re not sure how it ended, but we seem to remember some major civil right coming out of the thing.

The next time he was in court was for a space-camp lawsuit, and the time after that it was because Catwoman smacked him really hard with a bull-whip once. It was in the middle of a battle. The judge sided with the lady, possibly because she was all leathered-up.

But as anybody who has ever sued judicially knows, three lawsuits are never enough. That’s why Batman is currently sticking it to Christopher Nolan for getting all up in his business and ruining the awesome life he once had. Wait – did we say ‘..he once had’? Because we meant to say ‘..it once had.’ The Batman in this case is some crappy city in Turkey.

The last time Batman was in court it was for the now infamous case Batman vs. Dick Grayson's cold, cold heart, in which the Dark Knight awkwardly sued his only co-worker for unrequited love. We're not sure how it ended, but we seem to remember some major civil right coming out of the thing. The next time he was in court was for a space-camp lawsuit, and the time after that it was because Catwoman smacked him really hard with a bull-whip once. It was in the middle of a battle. The judge sided with the lady, possibly because she was all leathered-up. But as anybody who has ever sued judicially knows, three lawsuits are never enough. That's why Batman is currently sticking it to Christopher Nolan for getting all up in his business and ruining the awesome life he once had. Wait - did we say '..he once had'? Because we meant to say '..it once had.' The Batman in this case is some crappy city in Turkey.
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WEBTHUMP! Thursday 30 October 2008

by Stuart Heritage

9 – A French man gets his arm stuck down a toilet. Ha ha ha – BBC

8 – Please let this be true: Guy Ritchie’s Madonna: The Movie – Holy Moly

7 – A slightly disgusting miles per gallon calculator for your own body – Carconnection

6 – Baconnaise. Exactly what it sounds like it is Thank you, geniuses – Holytaco

5 – An acorn cakelet pan! – Bakingbites

4 – The title of every single unmade music biopic ever – Best Week Ever

3 – Christopher Nolan dissects a scene from The Dark Knight. Fails to answer the question “Hey, what’s up with Batman’s silly voice?” – LA Times

2 – You know what we wish existed? Wine based on The Sopranoes. What? It exists?! – Videogum

1 – Jamie, a longtime hecklerspray reader, has been diagnosed with Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. He’s keeping a spiffy, abnormally testicle-heavy, blog about it, though, so go read it and cheer him up – Cancerouscapers

9 - A French man gets his arm stuck down a toilet. Ha ha ha - BBC 8 - Please let this be true: Guy Ritchie's Madonna: The Movie - Holy Moly 7 - A slightly disgusting miles per gallon calculator for your own body - Carconnection 6 - Baconnaise. Exactly what it sounds like it is Thank you, geniuses - Holytaco 5 - An acorn cakelet pan! - Bakingbites 4 - The title of every single unmade music biopic ever - Best Week Ever 3 - Christopher Nolan dissects a scene from The Dark Knight. Fails to answer the question "Hey, what's up with Batman's silly voice?" - LA Times 2 - You know what we wish existed? Wine based on The Sopranoes. What? It exists?! - Videogum 1 - Jamie, a longtime hecklerspray reader, has been diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. He's keeping a spiffy, abnormally testicle-heavy, blog about it, though, so go read it and cheer him up - Cancerouscapers
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World’s Worst TV Idea: Robin – The Earlier, Non-Batman Years

by Stuart Heritage

Smallville undoubtedly rules the roost when it comes to confusing, myth-raping young superhero TV shows that you barely even remember exist – but not for long.

No, because the producers of Smallville have struck upon another idea for a confusing, myth-raping TV show about a young superhero. Robin. Yes, Robin from Batman and Robin. But set before he met Batman. So basically a TV show about an annoyingly earnest little boy without any superpowers, then.

Still, that’s not going to stop the show from being made. It’s even got a name already – The Graysons. So, to correct our earlier mistake, this Robin programme will be a TV show about an annoyingly earnest little boy without any superpowers that sounds like it’s a bad 1970s sitcom. Can’t wait.

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