Articles tagged with: Batman
Coming Soon To Cinemas: The Dark Knight, Whatever That Is
Phew, the summer movie season is over - now we can enjoy the more thoughtful awards season movies instead, like, um, The Dark Knight. You see, even though every single living organism on the face of the Earth has already been to see The Dark Knight about 17 times already, producers are scared that the Academy will forget about it come Oscar nomination time, which is why they've pencilled in another theatrical release of The Dark Knight for January. Of course, by January The Dark Knight's bloated special effects are going to look foolish up against the more intelligent, issue-led fare of awards season, which is why Christopher Nolan is currently busy re-editing the movie to make Batman look like the widower of mentally-disabled United Nations worker killed in Darfur by a missile built in Iraq but funded by the American government, who are obviously the real baddies in all of this.
Phew, the summer movie season is over - now we can enjoy the more thoughtful awards season movies instead, like, um, The Dark Knight. You see, even though every single living organism on the face of the Earth has already been to see The Dark Knight about 17 times already, producers are scared that the Academy will forget about it come Oscar nomination time, which is why they've pencilled in another theatrical release of The Dark Knight for January. Of course, by January The Dark Knight's bloated special effects are going to look foolish up against the more intelligent, issue-led fare of awards season, which is why Christopher Nolan is currently busy re-editing the movie to make Batman look like the widower of mentally-disabled United Nations worker killed in Darfur by a missile built in Iraq but funded by the American government, who are obviously the real baddies in all of this.
Weekend Box Office: The Dark Knight Continues To Widdle On Everything
First the bad news - The Dark Knight lost over half of its audience at the weekend box office compared to last week. Now the slightly better news - that still meant that The Dark Knight pulled in $75 million in sales this weekend, over $45 million more than its next best rival. Clearly, The Dark Knight is something of a weekend box office phenomenon. So what can a forthcoming film - say, Vicky Christina Barcelona - do to match The Dark Knight's weekend box office success? Easy - have Penelope Cruz killed by an accidental overdose and then convince Woody Allen to beat up his own mother a day after it opens. Also, if they could make the film inordinately long and so morally heavyhanded that it may as well be delivered by a wild-eyed redneck preacher, that'd be great too.
First the bad news - The Dark Knight lost over half of its audience at the weekend box office compared to last week. Now the slightly better news - that still meant that The Dark Knight pulled in $75 million in sales this weekend, over $45 million more than its next best rival. Clearly, The Dark Knight is something of a weekend box office phenomenon. So what can a forthcoming film - say, Vicky Christina Barcelona - do to match The Dark Knight's weekend box office success? Easy - have Penelope Cruz killed by an accidental overdose and then convince Woody Allen to beat up his own mother a day after it opens. Also, if they could make the film inordinately long and so morally heavyhanded that it may as well be delivered by a wild-eyed redneck preacher, that'd be great too.
Christian Bale Went Spazzy Over Sister Cash Request: Claim
Christian Bale is easily our method actor of the week - his dedication to clown-beating even extends to his own clown mother, for God's sake. But, in all of this possibly-illegal motherclown-beating kerfuffle, one question has stood out above all others - what makes a newly-minted megastar like Christian Bale start whaling on his mother and sister on the happiest day of his life? Turns out the reason might be cash. According to reports today, Christian Bale kicked off after his sister asked him for £100,000 to help raise her three children. Frankly we're disgusted - doesn't Christian Bale know that all children have the right to receive occasional gifts of more than the average British annual working wage that their mother has managed to guilt out of their moviestar uncle? Shame on you, Mr Bale. Shame on you indeed.
Christian Bale is easily our method actor of the week - his dedication to clown-beating even extends to his own clown mother, for God's sake. But, in all of this possibly-illegal motherclown-beating kerfuffle, one question has stood out above all others - what makes a newly-minted megastar like Christian Bale start whaling on his mother and sister on the happiest day of his life? Turns out the reason might be cash. According to reports today, Christian Bale kicked off after his sister asked him for £100,000 to help raise her three children. Frankly we're disgusted - doesn't Christian Bale know that all children have the right to receive occasional gifts of more than the average British annual working wage that their mother has managed to guilt out of their moviestar uncle? Shame on you, Mr Bale. Shame on you indeed.
Christian Bale Becomes New Superhero: Bailman
Method acting must be great - it provides a surefire way of behaving like something of an idiot in polite society. That is, unless you decide to go home and assault your mum and sister, as it was alleged Christian Bale had gone and done yesterday. That takes things a bit far, away from the Pacino not talking to people unless they address his character 'slight mentalness' and well into the zone of 'whoops he may well just be a bit odd in the head'. But rejoice! For the Baler has bailed out of the cop shop pending further questioning! Though that does mean he may go and strike again, if he did do anything in the first place. God knows the tabloids warn us of these repeat offenders in Gordon Brown's Britain.
Method acting must be great - it provides a surefire way of behaving like something of an idiot in polite society. That is, unless you decide to go home and assault your mum and sister, as it was alleged Christian Bale had gone and done yesterday. That takes things a bit far, away from the Pacino not talking to people unless they address his character 'slight mentalness' and well into the zone of 'whoops he may well just be a bit odd in the head'. But rejoice! For the Baler has bailed out of the cop shop pending further questioning! Though that does mean he may go and strike again, if he did do anything in the first place. God knows the tabloids warn us of these repeat offenders in Gordon Brown's Britain.
Batman Christian Bale Arrested For Allegedly Beating Mum And Sister Up
So you're Christian Bale; you're the star of The Dark Knight - one of the biggest movies ever - how do you celebrate the news? Simple, you go a bit mental, attack your mother and sister and get arrested on suspicion of assault for it. True, it might not be the obvious way around the problem, but it's what Christian Bale allegedly has done. So with Heath Ledger dead and Christian Bale arrested for assault, it seems like The Dark Knight might be carrying a dark curse. We'll know for sure as soon as Michael Caine climbs up a church tower and starts firing a machine gun at passers-by and crying, but for now it's just a pretty strong hunch.
So you're Christian Bale; you're the star of The Dark Knight - one of the biggest movies ever - how do you celebrate the news? Simple, you go a bit mental, attack your mother and sister and get arrested on suspicion of assault for it. True, it might not be the obvious way around the problem, but it's what Christian Bale allegedly has done. So with Heath Ledger dead and Christian Bale arrested for assault, it seems like The Dark Knight might be carrying a dark curse. We'll know for sure as soon as Michael Caine climbs up a church tower and starts firing a machine gun at passers-by and crying, but for now it's just a pretty strong hunch.
Weekend Box Office: The Dark Knight Now Roughly Bigger Than Jesus
Here's some hardly very surprising news - The Dark Knight is the number one movie at the weekend box office this week. More than that, though, The Dark Knight is the biggest-ever movie at the number one box office - to the tune of $155 million. That's even more than Spider-Man 3 managed. The Dark Knight better than a film about Kirsten Dunst doing a dance about some eggs? Wow, that is good. What's more impressive is that The Dark Knight managed to be the best ever movie at the US weekend box office even though it's an overlong pitch-black morality tale made notorious by the death of one of its stars. That means that The Dark Knight is also the most depressing box office megahit since at least Big Momma's House 2 came out.
Here's some hardly very surprising news - The Dark Knight is the number one movie at the weekend box office this week. More than that, though, The Dark Knight is the biggest-ever movie at the number one box office - to the tune of $155 million. That's even more than Spider-Man 3 managed. The Dark Knight better than a film about Kirsten Dunst doing a dance about some eggs? Wow, that is good. What's more impressive is that The Dark Knight managed to be the best ever movie at the US weekend box office even though it's an overlong pitch-black morality tale made notorious by the death of one of its stars. That means that The Dark Knight is also the most depressing box office megahit since at least Big Momma's House 2 came out.
Christian Bale All Like ‘More Batman Please’
It's not out yet, but The Dark Knight looks set to be a huge hit.
So much so, that Christian Bale is itching to make a third Batman movie already. Bale says he's looking forward to seeing whether Christopher Nolan can top the 'artistry' and 'emotional intensity' of this film, and that he'd love to be a part of it.
Yeah yeah yeah - listen, Christian Bale can spout as much nonsense about artistic worth as he likes, because we all know why he wants to make another Batman film. It's because Batman law quite clearly states that the third Batman movie in any series is the point where the Bat-nipple comes into play. You'd have to be a crazy person to turn down the Bat-nipple.
Pamela Anderson and Tommy Lee – Together At Last! Again. Again. Again.
Pamela Anderson seems to wish she could return to the past - to a time before hepatitis, miscarriage, divorce, Rick Salomon and definitely, definitely before Kid Rock. The whole world wants to return to that particular time. But the particular time she seems to want to return to is the one where a drummer from a bit of a crap, over-hyped band who likes to get his junk out on stage gets to stick it to her on a regular basis. Yes, kids, Pamela Anderson is back with Tommy Lee.
Pamela Anderson seems to wish she could return to the past - to a time before hepatitis, miscarriage, divorce, Rick Salomon and definitely, definitely before Kid Rock. The whole world wants to return to that particular time. But the particular time she seems to want to return to is the one where a drummer from a bit of a crap, over-hyped band who likes to get his junk out on stage gets to stick it to her on a regular basis. Yes, kids, Pamela Anderson is back with Tommy Lee.
