Given that he’s everywhere all the time at the moment, we’re starting to think that Suge Knight is the gangsta Miley Cyrus.
Not completely – the day that photos of Suge Knight rolling around in his knickers are leaked to the internet is the day we cut out our eyes and, to our knowledge, Miley Cyrus has never driven around in a car allegedly punching a woman in the head – but in terms of ubiquity, the comparison just about holds up. Just about.
In fact, it’s this whole ‘allegedly punching women in the head while driving a car’ thing that’s brought Suge Knight to our attention again this time. Because now Suge Knight has been charged for the last time he supposedly beat up a women in a car. And since this time the charges also include a spot of beating up a woman in a car park with a knife in his hand, Suge Knight faces eight and a half years in jail. Oh well.
You know what makes our blood boil? People who walk around with small amounts of two different types of drugs in their pockets. Any bastard who does that should be immediately sent to jail for the best part of a decade. And as for people who think they can violently beat up women in broad daylight in a car park with a knife in their hand, well, that’s probably about 16 times less important than the drugs thing.
That’s not just our opinion, by the way – that’s the opinion of the American justice system as well. For instance, a few months ago increasingly desperate-looking rap mogul Suge Knight got arrested after he was apparently spotted driving through Las Vegas while punching a woman repeatedly in the head. When the woman escaped from the car, Suge Knight then continued beating her up while holding a knife.
And now Suge Knight has been charged. Mostly because it’s claimed he had small quantities of ecstasy and hydrocodone on him while he was allegedly thumping the life out of this woman. That part was cool because, you know, she probably deserved it. BBC News reports:
[Suge Knight] has been charged with two counts of drug possession and one of misdemeanour battery, according to papers filed in Las Vegas Justice Court. When arrested in August, police said Knight, 43, was found “violently beating” Melissa Isaac in a Las Vegas parking lot while holding a knife. If convicted, Knight could face up to four years in jail for each of the drugs charges, as well as six months for the assault charge.
So, in total, that’s an eight and a half year jail sentence he’s looking at. In retrospect, Suge Knight must be wishing that he’d punched four women in the head at knifepoint until they were hospitalised with no drugs in his pockets, because that way he’d have reduced his potential sentence by more than 75%. Hindsight’s a bitch, isn’t it.
However, lawyers for Suge Knight have claimed that Knight is not guilty of any of the charges, and they plan to fight them when the case goes to court next month. Personally we’re hoping that Suge Knight gets off without charge, because it’s going to be awfully hard for him to sue Kanye West from behind bars. Because in many ways, a prison sentence is nothing compared to the suffering that Suge Knight went through when he lost that earring at Kanye West’s party.
OK, not in many ways. In one way.
OK, not even in one way.
magnetite says
So, Suge Knight has lifted Isaac Hayes’ character of Gandolph Fitch from the Rockford Files, but has managed to strip any of the redeeming characteristics from it first. Nice one.
gir says
Pretty obscure reference there, magnetite….You are now rechristened “dolemite”.
magnetite says
If it floats yer boat, gir. Just as long as I’m not Vegemite, a catamite or Telepinu the Hittite. Now that’s f*cking obscure – as none of them are on ITV3 for half the year at a time, repeated four times a day and a source of moderately entertaining car chases.
magnetite says
Oh bollocks. I didn’t recognise it as a blaxploitation reference until just now. I take my hat off to you and bow, gir. Just don’t look too closely at the top of my head as I do so, as my head is so empty today that you’d be able to see right down my throat.
gir says
Dolemite, out-obscured….but can he fuck some hot chicks and beat the shit out of Whitey?
Yeah, probably.