It had it all – a furious star, a nonsense story, an oddly-named director – but now Terminator Salvation has more.

That’s right – Arnold Schwarzenegger. Sort of. Even though it opens next month, Arnold Schwarzenegger still doesn’t know if he’ll be in Terminator Salvation or not. He might be, but only if producers insert footage from the first Terminator into the new film.

Which is rubbish. We want Arnold Schwarzenegger in Terminator Salvation in real life, perhaps as a demonstration of the time Skynet got drunk and made a murderous robot that looked like a fat old man for a laugh.

There’s nothing that anybody likes more than a third sequel to a 25-year-old film where you’re asked to completely disregard its entire TV spin-off series, most of what happened in the second sequel and the alarming realisation that in the future all embittered leaders of resistance movements against armies of unstoppable machines hellbent on the eradication of mankind will have accents that lurch indiscriminately between London, LA and borderline offensive comedy Pakistani.

And therefore, there’s nothing that anybody will like more than Terminator Salvation. Hype is already at fever pitch over Terminator Salvation, having been drummed up by a fairly impressive trailer and that tape of the angriest man in all the word bellowing “AH DA DA DA DA!” at a subordinate. But you know what would be the robot cherry on the cyborg cake? Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Arnold Schwarzenegger has played such a big part in all the other Terminator movies – he was the unstoppable villain in the first one, the underdog hero in the second one and the embarrassing shadow of his former self in the third one – that it wouldn’t feel right if he didn’t have a part to play in Terminator Salvation.

And now there’s a fighting chance that he might. In a way. In a really crappy way. The LA Times reports:

Warner Bros. is exploring whether it can insert images of Schwarzenegger from the original “Terminator” movie into the new film starring Christian Bale, directed by McG and slated for release May 21…  In the film, a prequel to the original, Schwarzenegger would be in a brief scene in which the main character encounters him as a “future Terminator,” according to the governor.

As potentially rubbish as that sounds, the description is a little vague. We imagine this means that Terminator Salvation will feature a scene where Arnold Schwarzenegger time-travels back from the future to try and kill Christian Bale, but Christian Bale gets all “YOU’RE A NICE GUY, YOU’RE A NICE GUY, BUT THAT DOESN’T FUCKING CUT IT!” on him, so Arnold Schwarzenegger decides it’ll be easier to time-travel back even further and just kick his mum in the stomach when she’s pregnant with him instead.

If that’s the case, we’re sold. Someone book us a ticket.

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