Roseanne Barr isn’t really known for being particularly funny, but this time she’s managed to make us all laugh.
See, there are times when celebrities get angry at other celebrities – they usually mean a few cross words and not much else. We smirk at these times. We enjoy. We forget.
Then there are times when a celebrity unleashes a furious rant at other celebrities – and this is exactly what Roseanne Barr has gone and done, and in whose direction?
Why, Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie, of course. The easiest of the targets, as we all know too well.
The internet is a wonderful thing – once we would have to wait for weeks or even months to hear of the spats between two sets of people we don’t know and are unlikely to ever meet. Now, thanks to the popularity and ease of use of blogs, we get to know about even the smallest of arguments straight from the horse’s mouth.
Or Roseanne’s mouth, which – let’s be honest here – isn’t particularly horsey. More beastly.
Yes, she who was on that there Roseanne programme has gone and vented her spleen about the king and queen of celebritydom, starting out on estranged grandpappy Jon Voight but soon moving on to Brad and Angie, slating them for their adoption practices, their charity donations and their political opinions – or lack thereof.
Oh, and she’s only gone and included a passage that very much stands out as something a hecklerspray writer would be proud to unleash on the world.
On the other hand, it does make Roseanne seem utterly, utterly mad and throws the whole matter into question. If it were a reasoned and generally normal person making this post then maybe there would be more credibility behind it, but as it stands, it’s a mad old woman being a bit mad and old.
But who cares? It’s a funny rant! And it went a little something like this:
“jon voight your evil spawn angelina jolie and her vacuous hubby brad pitt make about forty million dollars a year in violent psychopathic movies and give away three of it to starving children”
Take into account this is printed verbatim, warts, lack of punctuation and all. But Rosey went on and unleashed this beaut, which has to go down as one of the finest sentences a comedian in the decline of her career has said about two top-of-their-game A listers:
“trying to look as if they give a crap about humanity as they spit out more dunces that will consume more than their fair share and wreck the earth even more. (just sayin’).”
It’s got venom, it’s got righteous fury and – best of all – it’s got a half-arsed, abbreviated semi-withdrawal at the end of it. That’s a sentence of kings, really. It demands respect while spitting out fury. But did it stop there? Did it bollocks. The ex-fake wife of John Goodman was obviously just hitting her (typing) stride:
“do you not know that the african daughter you hold in every picture had parents who suffered and died because of the republican party’s worldwide economic assault on africa over the last few decades since reagan?”
Obviously she went on even more, confusing us just as much as she made us splutter our Coco Pops all over our fancy new keyboard, but the choicest pick has to come from how she signs the post off:
“Ps….it might be good for your asian and african children’s self esteem to know you support a brown man for the leader of the free world.”
We can’t help but be conflicted about the whole thing. On one hand it’s utterly hilarious, on the other she does need to take a step back to take another look, calm herself down and probably have a nap, as she seems a bit cranky.
Either way, Roseanne Barr has amused hecklerspray for the first time in our life – marrying Tom Arnold didn’t count, that was a cheap shot – and that’s got to be worth at least something.
Read the Rest of it Here:
The Dread Pirate Sausage! says
The funniest thing about it: SHE WAS RIGHT!
Saddest thing about it: SHE WAS RIGHT!
The One says
…that’s the sad part. Brad and Angelina are a facade of good. What are they doing now? Laps in their swimming pool? There are people dying in Africa every day, if they cared maybe they’d donate more, I do and I don’t make nearly the amount I do. I’ve donated money, time, teaching, training, and I’m just an average Joe.
Instead of donating 3 million when you make 40, how about you donate 39.5 and live the upper/middle class lifestyle.
Haters Are Everywhere says
Anyway you slice it up, 3 million is about 900% more than the average American will donate to any cause besides their own survival. It’s so easy to look at successful people and say they they aren’t doing enough. You could donate your money, time, teaching training and organs for the next 10 years and not come up with 3 million dollars worth. Suggesting that ANYBODY donate 98.75% of their income to charity is utter manure. And cmon…. Roseanne? You had a hit tv show what, a decade ago? Take your 80 bucks you made from when I bought your nostalgic DVD’s and shut it. You should only talk when someone else is doing the writing.
jen says
SHUT UP, BUFFALO ROSEANNE BARR JUST BUTT TO JOLIE.