As a member of Bon Jovi, Richie Sambora's life is mainly about pedal-to-the-metal rock and roll rebellion. And dodgy haircuts.
But anyway, back to the rebellion. Time was that to be a rebel you only had to get drunk and drive around in your car for a while. But now that everyone from Paris Hilton to most of the stars of Lost have done that, the bar had to be raised. Which is why Richie Sambora apparently got drunk and drove around with his own 10-year-old daughter in the car with him.
And now Richie Sambora might be hit with child endangerment charges for it. How many times, Richie? You should only get drunk and endanger the lives of your passengers when your passengers are the other members of Bon Jovi, not kids. That's just stupid, although the Bon Jovi thing really should be actively encouraged.
If Richie Sambora could learn one thing from being in Bon Jovi, it's that driving along a road is a suitable metaphor for life. Crossroads, Lost Highway, Seat Next To You, Born To Be My Baby, It's My Life – all songs that very clearly state that life is like a road. However, hardened Joviists – once their brain medication wears off – will be able to tell you that not one of these songs mentions veering about this road all shitfaced with a terrified ten-year-old girl in the passenger seat.
Richie Sambora needs to do some boning up on the wisdom of Bon Jovi, in that case.
Although Richie Sambora's struggles with alcohol are well known, possibly stemming from having to balance having the world's most complicated love life with being in the world's most fist-gnawingly awful band, up until now he'd managed to avoid combining getting hammered on booze with bombing around in a car with his own daughter in it.
But on Tuesday night that's exactly what Richie Sambora was arrested for. The New York Daily News reports:
Rocker Richie Sambora could face criminal charges of child endangerment after being busted on a DUI charge Tuesday night. Cops in Laguna Beach, Calif., tell us they're investigating whether there's enough evidence to hold the Bon Jovi guitarist responsible for putting his 10-year-old daughter, Ava, and another child at risk. Police pulled over Sambora, 48, at 10:52 p.m. on the Pacific Coast Highway after spotting his car "weaving within lanes," Laguna Beach Sgt. Jason Kravetz tells us. "The officers smelled alcohol on his breath and did several field sobriety tests. He failed [all of them] and was arrested."
Richie Sambora is due in court on May 7, although he's yet to be charged with anything pending results of a blood test. If the tests do test positive for alcohol, though, the extent of Sambora's fall from grace will be immense. Of all the boneheaded things you could possibly do, weaving around on a road drunk with your own child on board is right up there with trying to dislodge pieces of biscuit from plug sockets with your tongue and, well, being in Bon Jovi.
Hopefully this arrest will have some long-term benefits, though – the shock should be enough to sent him back to rehab where he can take his recovery seriously. Plus if Richie Sambora ends up going to prison, Bon Jovi won't be able to release any more albums for a while. Great – if only more acts we didn't like seriously endangered the lives of their own children while drunk. Oh Johnny Borrell, when will you have children just so you can almost drive them into a tree?
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mst3kster says
Oh boy!! Here comes the few fans Bon Jovi has ranting nonsensically with their Caps Lock keys on with no idea of how to spell and use proper grammar!!!
Sammi says
You’re a fuckhead.
Rob Delaney says
“Oh Johnny Borrell, when will you have children just so you can almost drive them into a tree?”
Possibly nine months after Hermione from Harry Potter reaches puberty, if recent reports are to be believed.
Peter Belisi says
Not aging well.
Paul Sorrenti says
good story
Frank O says
Brilliant article. Please give him jail to stop the anchovi machine…..perhaps for good. We can only hope.
Dedicated says
I was compelled to write after reading the comments left, especially the stereotypical ones about the caps lock key and incorrect grammar. All I can say is that the fact that I am the first one to comment in the defense of the band and have not and will not use my caps lock key (though I feel as though I should just to spite every one of you) shows just how little we care to read this rude nonsense. Bon Jovi has a huge, dedicated fan base, and the fact that you say that there are just a few of us shows how oblivious you are. The band has been around for 25 years, and they are as strong as they always have been, if not stronger than ever. But oh that’s right, I forgot. You guys are all saints, of course you have the right to pass judgement on Richie Sambora’s mistakes…