Phil Spector, you’ve let us down. Worse, you’ve let yourself down. For years we’ve been calling you the guy with the crazy hair.
But look at this new mugshot, Phil Spector. You’re bald. The top of your head is completely bald. So what can we call you now? The guy with the mad boggly eyes and the conviction for shooting a woman in the face at close range with a handgun? Hardly rolls off the tongue.
Fine, we’ll go with that. But you’d better not be faking your murderous resentment of females too, Phil Spector, or we’ll be sorely peeved.
Unless he lives to be 88 – which, let’s face it, seems unlikely given that he already looks partially mummified – it’s quite likely that Phil Spector will die in jail. So there’s a very good chance that this will be the last time any of us see him alive. And, from the bottom of our hearts, we’d like to sincerely thank Phil Spector for the generosity of his parting gift – a ridiculous mugshot of him being completely bald.
Throughout his murder trial and subsequent retrial for the murder of Lana Clarkson, we’ve marvelled at the sheer breadth of Phil Spector’s hairstyling abilities. There was the giant planet-sized afro, of course, as well as the confusing tribute to Help-era Paul McCartney and our own personal favourite, the haircut that made him look like a middle-aged power lesbian on a cruise ship holiday with some colleagues who she doesn’t know very well.
But now the shocking truth has been revealed – Phil Spector is bald. And also, to a lesser extent, a convicted murderer. A mugshot taken at California’s North Kern State Prison shows that Phil Spector was really a great big baldie all along. AP reports:
“They took my husband’s freedom and dignity. So why not his hair?” said Spector’s wife Rachelle, who had previously suggested that her husband’s thick mane of hair was his own. “This is a personal matter,” she said. “But in case you don’t know, they don’t allow for much accessorizing while in prison.”
Obviously being seen without the wig you’ve passed off as being real for several years would be a humiliating loss of dignity for anyone, but it’s even more symbolic for Phil Spector. He’s no longer a music industry bigwig, so he’s literally had to hand over his big wig. And – thanks to similar prison policies – we hear that his big cheese, big kahuna, big noise and top dog were also confiscated ahead of processing. How disappointing.
In many ways we’d be tempted to call this bald mugshot Phil Spector’s final insult. But that’d probably be a bit premature, since everyone knows that Phil Spector’s final insult will come when he’s inevitably gang-raped in a laundry room by a rag-tag gaggle of serial arsonists. And we believe that’s pencilled in for mid-July, so we’ll keep quiet.
[image: California Department of Corrections and Rehabilitation]
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debi says
Did you see this mug shot of Al Capone?
Al Capone
http://www.amerphotorestoration.com/alcapone.html
Karla says
LOL @ “since everyone knows that Phil Spector