It's fair to say that the only way the defence in the Phil Spector murder trial could have gone any worse was if a giant polar bear escaped from the local zoo, testified that Phil Spector once held a gun to its head and then mauled everyone to death.
In fact, it seems as if Phil Spector's defence team is ready to give up too – it's been announced that Phil Spector's defence will close today, far earlier than expected and without several highly anticipated testimonies, including that of Phil Spector himself. It's the lack of a Phil Spector testimony that especially galls us, because we've been only following his murder trial in the desperate hope that he'd take to the stand and offer some world-class tips on how to keep your lesbian pageboy haircut as lustrous as possible.
Well that was a bit of an anticlimax, wasn't it? After all the revelations of the prosecution in the Phil Spector murder trial – the gunpoint rape attempts, the violent belief that all women were "fucking cunts", the so-called murder confession, the expert analysis – it was expected that Phil Spector's defence would need to pull something pretty huge out of the bag to counter all those claims. And did it?
Well, not unless you call repeated claims that Lana Clarkson was quite sad and the testimony of one blood spatter expert 'huge'. And, let's face it, it's never usually a good sign when the defence tries to get a case dismissed on a tenuous technicality, is it? That's why it's not really a huge surprise that Phil Spector's defence plans to pack up and rest today. BBC News reports:
Defence lawyers in Phil Spector's murder trial are to drop a number of star witnesses and close its case early on Wednesday morning. Prosecutors said they were unprepared for the announcement and would have to juggle their schedule to bring in rebuttal witnesses early. As a result, testimony could end on 9 August, the date set for a jury tour of Mr Spector's mansion.
It's just the latest cock-up in what appears to be an especially botched defence argument. Phil Spector's star witness, Dr Henry Lee, left the country after the judge ruled that he'd been tampering with evidence and Phil Spector's star lawyer, Bruce Cutler, first got ill and then left the court for a number of weeks to record a TV show. We weren't joking about the bear being the only way things could get worse for Phil Spector, you know.
But, hey, at least this is the first sign that the Phil Spector murder trial is coming to an end, and in years to come we'll all remember this day fondly – possibly by dressing up like a female extra from Dallas and verbally abusing women as loudly as we can. It's what Phil Spector would have wanted.
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