Face it – there's absolutely nothing more cultural for a human being to do than go through a messy divorce with an angry one-legged woman and then jig about like a whistling, mandolin-wielding pixie on an advert for digital music downloads.
And that makes Paul McCartney the most cultural man that the Earth has ever seen. Lucky, then, that Paul McCartney comes from Liverpool and Liverpool will be the European Capital Of Culture next year. Surely it's a match made in heaven – albeit the part of heaven that hasn't worked out that Paul McCartney actually more or less comes from Hastings these days. Anyway – Paul McCartney, Liverpool, European Capital Of Culture… this can only mean one thing! That's right, Ringo Starr is going to a concert in Liverpool next year!
Yeah, and Paul McCartney's doing one too. But, come on, Ringo Starr…
Even though he's slowly transforming into a dough-faced old lady, it's impossible to overstate what an important man Paul McCartney is – and not just in terms of pop music, either. Although everyone knows about The Beatles, you have to remember that Paul McCartney is responsible for other cultural profundities, too – he's an award-winning classical composer, he sings songs directly at astronauts, he writes children's books and he's also one of the world's foremost authorities on allegedly drunkenly stabbing monopeds with wineglasses.
But no matter how many times people suggest that he violently claimed ownership of their breasts to the extent that his children went without milk, the people of Paul McCartney's hometown will always love him. No, not London, even though Paul McCartney moved there 45 years ago; or Sussex, where he's lived for almost as long. We mean Liverpool, of course, the place that Paul McCartney lived before he got properly famous. And since Liverpool is going to be the European Capital Of Culture next year, it was was only fair that Liverpool invited its most famous son back for a show-stopping performance at Anfield. No, not Jimmy Tarbuck. Or Sporty Spice. Or that awful woman who wrote Bread. We mean Paul McCartney. You haven't really been following this article very well at all, have you? The Associated Press reports:
Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr will pay tribute to their native city when Liverpool becomes European Capital of Culture next year. "I'm very excited about Liverpool being the European Capital of Culture in 2008," McCartney told the launch event in a video message Thursday. "We have a fantastic series of events, which are sure to get you excited, too." The ex-Beatle will headline a June 1 concert for more than 30,000 people at Liverpool Football Club's Anfield stadium. Starr — along with Eurythmics founder Dave Stewart and the Liverpool Symphony Orchestra — will lead the opening ceremony Jan. 12 with "Liverpool The Musical," a tribute to the city's musical heritage.
Leaving aside the fact that Ringo Starr will have his work cut out trying to make Liverpool The Musical sound like anything but a series of old Cast B-sides, it's nice to see that Paul McCartney hasn't grown big enough to forget his old home. We've got our fingers crossed that Paul McCartney does something really special for his Liverpool homecoming, but we're not sure what it'll consist of now that his first few ideas – a Beatles medley played by lining up some Canadian seal pups and hitting them with hammers like an obscene yelping glockenspiel, and a Live Earth-style all-star concert to raise awareness of what a dick Heather Mills is – have all been turned down.
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Jason Lennon says
It’s good to see that both Sir Paul McCartney and Ringo Starr are doing something special for Liverpool. These guys were responisible putting Liverpool on the map to begin with they also have good hearts with the folks from their hometown. I’m also a big fan of Liverpool soccer myself. I live in the USA. But lived in Manchester, UK a couple years for about 7 years. But anyway wrote a song for Liverpool. It’s called ‘Capital of Culture (Liverpool 08) with a good friend of mine who lives in LIverpool Andrew Illston. Check it out at soundclick.com/jasonpaceylennon thanks for your support.
Thanks, mates
JasonL