Most men in Paul McCartney's position would have spent the last week sitting at home in the dark forlornly wondering how they ever let a catch like Heather Mills slip through their fingers.
Not Paul McCartney, though, now that his divorce is finalised, he's flown off to the Caribbean to jam his tongue down the throat of his American millionaire friend Nancy Shevell in front of some probably fairly nauseated holidaymakers.
So congratulations to Paul McCartney for moving on. True, Nancy Shevell might not regularly scream the word 'paedophile!' on breakfast TV in a funny voice, nor did she embark on a gruesome 1980s soft-porn career, not does her mouth wriggle sinisterly up one side of her face when she tries to smile, but Paul McCartney was never going to hit the jackpot twice in a row, was he?
Paul McCartney suits the role of husband very nicely, doesn't he? That's partly because he's been almost constantly married for the best part of the last 50 years, and partly because the idea of Paul McCartney's old man fingers creeping seductively towards a woman's bra creeps us the hell out. Mostly the last one, in fact. Imagine Paul McCartney whispering come-ons into your ear. Imagine it. Yeuuurgh.
Anyway, while we may physically shudder at the thought of Paul McCartney putting his hands all over our body like some sort of very old pervert, one person who doesn't is Nancy Shevell. You remember, Nancy Shevell, the woman who Paul McCartney possibly got all kissy kissy with last autumn. Millionaire. American. Young enough to just about be his daughter. You remember.
We thought that Paul McCartney was through with Nancy Shevell about the time that he put the moves on that Arquette woman, but now it's emerged that Paul has flown Nancy to an exclusive resort in the Caribbean to regale her with stories about what John Lennon was like until she lets him put his mouth on her tit. The Mirror reports:
One witness told the Mirror: "They were kissing each other passionately, giggling and smooching just like any other couple in the throes of a new relationship. They were so wrapped up in each other they seemed oblivious to everyone else. Paul certainly wasn't behaving like a world-famous rock star who has been battling a bitter divorce. He seemed like your average middle-aged man keen to impress his girlfriend. The only difference was that he was regaling her with tales of his days on the road with Britain's biggest band. Nancy seemed to be hanging on his every word."
We'd like to think that, after the trauma of his marriage to Heather Mills, Paul McCartney will spend a lot of time in private with Nancy Shevell reacquainting himself with what love feels like again. She seems a lot more suited to him than Heather did – plus every second that Paul McCartney spends with Nancy Shevell is a second that he can't close any ten-a-penny high-profile musical events with a godawful 35-minute singalong version of Hey Jude.
It's perfect – everyone wins. Well, everyone except for Nancy Shevell. But give her an injection of Chloroprocaine, a blindfold and a piece of wood to bite down on and she won't even feel a thing.
Read more:
Sir Paul McCartney and new girl Nancy Shevell frolick on beach – Mirror
Rob Delaney says
Yay! Heather’s back in the limelight too!
Man, I was starting to miss her.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/pages/live/articles/showbiz/showbiznews.html?in_article_id=552709&in_page_id=1773
I think, basically, her argument consists of “I said Paul was horrible to me in Court. There is no evidence of it. I’ve said it in the papers, magazines, telly as well. But I want the trascript of what I said in court to be published coz that’ll be, like, more believeable. And stuff”.
Cate says
EXCUUUUUUSE ME! (Thanks, Steve Martin) I am 65 and my wonderful, still sexy 73YO hubbie, are not the sickos you are portraying older lovers as. Nevermind that I have always loved the Beatles, I think they are individually entitled to a love life and privacy. Excluding Mucca, oc, since she is the one who waived the privacy.
Taia says
Speak for yourself, Mr.Heritage. I have never before even come close to feeling compelled to leave a response to an article, but congratulations, sir, you have brought me to the keyboard. Quite frankly, I find the idea of Paul McCartney whispering come-ons into my ear rather an appealing idea. Were he to be whispering to a twenty-something, then, yes, perhaps, revolting. But to an age-appropriate woman of substance, not a problem. Age and romance are not mutually exclusive items. The desire to loved and be loved is not the exclusive property of the young. Those lucky enough to have amour and electricity beyond the bloom of youth know to cherish it. I’d much rather be with a man in his 60s who had life experience, wisdom and emotional maturity than to be with someone young and beautiful who still has a lot of growing up to do. Someday, Mr. Heritage, you too will be in your 60s and you’ll then appreciate how ludicrous and offensive your comments were.
susan says
Mr.Heritage
look in the mirror Sir. You are not getting any younger are you? So does that mean you would deny your self an age- appropriate realationship because you are aging just like everyone else?
Oh well, another mean spirited person faces lonliness. life lessons can be hard. Lighten up Mr Heritage and perhaps you will write something someone wants to read.
i surely could not finish your spew when i caught your drift.
lindy says
The rich and famous always have a different standard in life, just like Paul McCartney and Nancy Shevell. They can play romance and courtship all over the globe, and giggle,smooch, cuddle, and kiss ’till they marry. I am green with envy!
vickie says
Nancy Shevell, to me, is one of the luckiest people of the world right now. I’m 17 and dead jealous! (unlikely as it may seem)
Tarah Marine says
And who said that love and a healthy libido can only be enjoyed by the young and beautiful? Paul has ALWAYS had a very active sex life, and if he’s in his 60’s and can still “get the job done” well, GREAT for him and his partner!! Besides, to be brutally honest, the whole idea of a man like Paul McCartney whispering come-ons into my ear is actually something I would not mind. To get it on woth one of the Beatles? the CUTE one, no less? I call that a privilege!! No matter how old you are. He’s gonna die the sexiest rocker on earth!! so well done Paul! And you? You can start vomiting your green-as-envy peas pudding because I can BET that when YOU are 64 you won’t be scoring women like he still does.