Paul McCartney All Kissy Kissy With A Millionaire, Possibly
November 7th, 2007 at 15:30 by Stuart Heritage
Since separating from Heather Mills, Paul McCartney has missed a woman's touch - their sweet fragrance, the silky lustre of their hair, the way they scream in confused terror when they're stabbed in the arm with a sawn-off wineglass.
But it looks like Paul McCartney has had enough of the single life, as he's been romantically linked with a separated New York millionairess called Nancy Shevell who he's been seen snuggling up to and kissing a handful of times already. While it's clear what Paul McCartney sees in Nancy Shevell - a woman who drips class and has never to our knowledge gone on breakfast TV and said the world 'paedophile' in an extraordinarily high-pitched voice - it's slightly harder to see what Nancy Shevell sees in elderly dough-faced grandmother-impersonator Paul McCartney the former Beatle and multi-multimillionaire.
It must be the way he smells or something.
Aside from every piece of music he's made since 1980, Paul McCartney can do no wrong in the eyes of the public. He was in The Beatles for a start, which tends to buy most people a lot of goodwill, plus his first wife died of cancer and he's single-handedly keeping the Brighton and Hove hairdye industry afloat, so what's not to love?
And the affection the public has for Paul McCartney - having already seem him through some dreadful mullets and that bastard iTunes advert - shows no sign of letting up thanks to his soon-to-be ex-wife Heather Mills and her unique talent for obliquely banging on about what a bastard Paul McCartney is all the time. For instance, when Heather Mills claimed that Paul McCartney stabbed her in the arm with a wineglass, the public responded by secretly wishing that Paul McCartney had gone for the windpipe instead. In short, Paul McCartney always wins.
So, by and large, the public will be behind Paul McCartney whoever he picks as his next girlfriend. For a while that looked a lot like it'd be Renee Zellweger, but that's all fallen by the wayside now it's been reported that Paul McCartney is currently dating Nancy Shevell, an old friend of Paul's who has recently separated from millionaire lawyer Bruce Blakeman.
Paul McCartney and Nancy Shevell have been seen out around six times so far, eating sushi and watching movies and driving along the beach and even 'kissing tenderly' if reports are to be believed. At the moment this is all just speculation, though - nobody knows for sure if Paul and Nancy are a couple and, even if they are, it's impossible to tell if it'll go on to become anything serious.
And although it's rumoured that Paul McCartney was recently seen in a lingerie shop, nobody even knows if Paul McCartney and Linda Shevell have even consummated their relationship yet. The only thing that Paul McCartney has said on the matter so far is:
“The only comment I have is that it’s a beautiful day.”
Oh, they're totally doing it. Now we just need to spend the rest of our lives painfully trying to remove the traumatic mental image of Paul McCartney having sex.
Related and recent:
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- Paul McCartney Stumps Up Final Divorce Deal Today
- Paul McCartney Now Putting It About Quite A Lot
- SLACKERJACK - Love’s Arrow
- Celebrity Haiku Competition: Paul McCartney
- Paul McCartney Divorce Becomes Charles & Di Round 2
- Paul McCartney Divorce: Everyone Now Beating Up Everyone Else
November 7th, 2007 at 5:37 pm
Paul McCartney’s life is nobody’s business really so nobody has to worry about any kind of “traumatic mental image of Paul McCartney having sex”. That’s in poor taste. I wish all of the press would just leave the McCartney family alone, including Heather, so they can work out their issues. the more the press bugs her the more vocal she becomes and it’s just wrong.
To Heather: you need to put your past away and move into the future without Sir Paul.
to Sir Paul: You need to tell the world to mind their own business and leave you alone.
As To the Beatles fans: We still love you and your music.
November 7th, 2007 at 11:46 pm
“Paul McCartney’s life is nobody’s business really”
He’s a celebrity. It’s in the (unwritten) contract.
November 8th, 2007 at 1:12 am
If I was a scientist, and I wanted to find where the talent in the Beatles was, I would isolate each component of the band as a control experiment.
Fortunately life has run this experiment for us. The Lennon component gave us Imagine, the McCartney component gave us Wings.
If only Chapman had a thing about McCartney.
November 9th, 2007 at 5:21 am
I wish the press would leave Heather Mills alone so she can stop being forced to appear on talk shows against her will to tell everyone in the entire universe what a horrible shitheel Paul McCartney is.
I wish the public would leave Paul McCartney alone so he can stop being forced to release album after album of tuneless, soulless pap (which he clearly is unenthusiastic about) and then be forced to play concerts full of geriatrics for gajillions of dollars.
I wish the world would leave all celebrities alone so that they can be forced into attention whoring the way the rest of us do it: thinly veiled sarcasm on gossip blogs.
November 12th, 2007 at 4:59 am
Heather Mills might be losing it, but she has been pushed to the edge by Paul McCartney and his team of under-handed goons. Remember people, MONEY TALKS, and bullshit walks. Bullshit being Paul McCartney. Paul McCartney is a ruthless, cunning and manipulative sod who wants us to think he can do not wrong. This cheap (cheap being the operative word) excuse for a man and musician does not deserve to be happy. It is just a matter of time before this Nancy Shevel woman sees through him. Paul McCartney is so full of himself that he actually thinks people do not beleive Heather Mills. Think again McCartney because you would be surprised if you knew how many people and even your so-called friends believe Heather Mills. In a perfect world Paul McCartney would mysteriously disappear.
April 21st, 2008 at 2:29 pm
Lay of Paul Mccartney… Hes a decent guy who also is a fabulous musician, song writer and singer. Heather Mills brings all the sh*t on her self for bein a money grabbing bItch. in an ideal world heather mills would leave the poor innocent child with paul and go and never show her face again im sick of it!! Shes makin paul look bad but shes the bad one!!