It wasn’t so long ago that Sharon Stone offended all of China by saying each and everyone of them looked delicious, or something, and would no doubt be scrumptious when mashed down into a cracker-topping paste.
She then drew up blueprints for a restaurant that would use this as its niche. We told her this was a foolish concept, as nobody would come to a restaurant that only served crackers with mashed Chinamen on them. She said we misunderstood, and that she would use a wide variety of crackers to offer her patrons several palatable options.
And that was the line she used to sell us 20% of her stock. If all goes well, we’ll be able to retire several months ahead of schedule. We actually can’t remember if any of that was true or not. What is true though is that 1,000 Chinese people are on the verge of sueing Stone for one billion dollars worth of stir fried beef and broccoli for her ‘Karma’ comment a while back.
Or did they just want a billion in cold, hard cash? We’re pretty sure it was the latter.
After China got hit by an incredibly violent people-killing, building-destroying earthquake a few months ago, Sharon Stone said it seemed like Karma. Her inference was that the universe was hitting China with a little deadly wrath for the poor treatment of Tibetans.
Many Tibetans, no doubt, agreed. PETA did not.
Neither did China – and neither did some New York lawyer who’s possibly looking for a way to pay off law school real quick-like. Fox News specifies:
“The Basic Instinct star was recently served with legal papers announcing attorney Ming Hai’s intention to sue her for harming Chinese people when she suggested the catastrophic quake last May was ‘karma’ for the regime’s occupation of Tibet. ‘For the families who have lost their loved ones or lost limbs or suffered severe injuries, your … statement and act has caused extreme emotional distress’, Ming wrote, citing the controversial comments Stone made at the Cannes Film Festival.”
Hai has over a thousand Chinese people standing at the ready to publicly announce Stone really hurt their feelings, and only a paycheck with a one followed by several thousand zeros could mend their hearts. Those ones and zeros, of course, would all have to be translated into Chinese characters.
If Ming was smart, he’d strengthen his case all the more by including all members of the western world in with the emotional distress thing. After all, it was them who primarily had to look at Stone’s woo-woo halfway through Basic Instinct.
We know two people who still stay up nights because that thing hovers in front of them whenever they close their eyes – and one of them is our grandma.
No word yet as to whether the Chinese have plans for the one billion dollar payout they intend to seize from an old lady in a foreign nation’s court.
They should probably use it to build something like giant pool skimmers for their sky – and fast! After all, we heard their atmosphere is so thick you could bump your head on it – and that is not something you want your Olympic visitors to go home remembering.
Andrej Magdan says
I wonder why they are concerned with her anyway. She is just another celeb lunnie who want to comment on everything that is happening in our world.
Those Chinese people should save their time and forget about her.
David Bryden says
What exactly will be the prosecution’s evidence?
“We assert that Ms. Stone is lying about karma, and as evidence we submit God’s Official Karma Records for the dates in question.”
Simon says
Shawn Lindseth is an idiot.
The pollution issue in China’s cities is a world problem not Chines people or China’s government. The fact that many Western counteries manufacturing industeries moved to China because of low cost and high production means that cities in the West enjoyed nice clean air, cheap affordable goods you now critices the very country that help you have this by the very thing you have born the brunt of for you. Pollution. This issue of pollution is as much as yours and your countryemn in the West as it is for China so before you criticise looks at the good around your house, the clothes you wear and the computer you are using first. When you wake up in the morning and sees celar blue sky and breath in fresh air you should have China to thank for. When people in Chinese cities sees thick smock and air that difficult to breath the Chinese has the West to thank for.
David Bryden says
Really, no, Simon, the pollution in a country is dependent on only 2 things: the laws of that country, and their enforcement.
The Dread Pirate Sausage! says
Well I know China should hold its tongue before foolishly thanking the West for gifts of spelling or Western literacy. We’ve robbed y’BLIND, there, man!