New Moon won’t be released for another month, but that’s too long for us. We want New Moon to come out now!
Why the sudden enthusiasm? Have we finally succumbed to the hype and decided that we’d actually enjoy New Moon? Since we’re not fat little squealing 14-year-old girls, we’d have to say no. We actually want New Moon to come out now so that Summit can hurry up and start showing millions of poxy trailers for Eclipse all the bloody time instead.
But until then we’ll have to put with millions of New Moon trailers, the trillionth of which has just been released. After the jump!
We’ve lost count of all the different New Moon trailers that have been released since Twilight came out. Let’s try and count them – there was the one where Taylor Lautner took his shirt off and Kristen Stewart looked a bit dopey, then there was the one where Taylor Lautner took his shirt off and Kristen Stewart looked a bit dopey. Oh, and who can forget the one where Taylor Lautner took his shirt off and Kristen Stewart looked a bit dopey? Classics, all of them.
In fact, we’d say that you probably don’t have to go and actually see New Moon any more, because if some enterprising young fellow decided to stitch together all the different New Moon trailers that have come out over the course of the last few months, then you’d probably have the entire movie in full right there. Or at least 90 minutes of footage where Taylor Lautner hasn’t got a shirt on and Kristen Stewart stands around looking a bit dopey. Which is exactly what New Moon is basically going to be, anyway.
Anyway, a brand new New Moon trailer has hit the internet and – because nothing else has happened today – we’re going to show it to you. Ready?
Now if you’re anything like us, you probably didn’t see much of the trailer because every time you pressed play you started crying and screaming and trying to lick your computer screen and screaming “I LOVE YOU ROBERT PATTINSON!” so hard that you dislodged some of your teeth. So with that in mind, let’s go over some of the key scenes from the new New Moon trailer:
NEW MOON TRAILER SCENE ONE
The dialogue from this New Moon scene has been obscured, but we can exclusively reveal what it is for the very first time…
Kristen Stewart: What’s that hard thing in your trousers, Taylor Lautner?
Taylor Lautner: Oh, that’s, oh… it’s a mystical werewolf thing. You wouldn’t understand.
Kristen Stewart: Really? Because it feels a bit like…
Taylor Lautner: Mystical werewolf thing. Stop talking about it now.
NEW MOON TRAILER SCENE TWO
We’re not completely sure what’s going on here, but it looks like Robert Pattinson is humping Taylor Lautner’s naked leg like a horny dog while Kristen Stewart watches. That’s just how Robert Pattinson rolls.
NEW MOON TRAILER SCENE THREE
Wow, KD Lang‘s let herself go a bit, hasn’t she?
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Sunny says
Ahhhhh *lights a cigarette* Was that good for you too? *smoke ring*
James M. says
AHHHHAHAHAHA whoever made this is just pure genious!! I found this link on one of my friends facebook posts so i thought id have a look just to laugh at it and OMG was it worth it xD
Anne says
Lol, good one Sunny. I think they are doing a good job with the trailer, now I’m sure there will be stuff left out when the movie comes out too so its a good. :)
GillyK says
I feel so dirty for googling “New Moon Trailer” now. At 21 yrs old you’d think I have better things to do. Turns out I dont.
melissa marlow says
I cannot wait for this movie to come out, but with all these sneak previews, and trailers they are showing every week I have a feeling I will see the whole movie before November 20.