On paper, Octomom Nadya Suleman and Kate Gosselin have a lot in common. OK, OK, that was a slight exaggeration.
In reality Nadya Suleman and Kate Gosselin only have one thing in common – their borderline-horrific ability to twang a constant deluge of babies from their knackered old birth canals like a fleshy out of control howitzer. And their relentless profiteering from that ability. And their simmering hatred for one another. Alright, they’ve got three things in common. Sorry.
Anyway, Nadya Suleman and Kate Gosselin think that the other one should stop attention-seeking so much. You know what? They’re both right.
In life, success always breeds imitation. For every KFC there’s a ropey-looking Tennessee Fried Cluck-Cluck, for every Apprentice there’s a crappy series about Richard Branson that nobody watches, and for every Kate Gosselin there’s a Nadya Suleman. Or for every Nadya Suleman there’s a Kate Gosselin. We forget which way round it goes.
You see, the world is only big enough for one desperately self-serving mother of so many kids that she couldn’t possibly look after all of them at once and – since that description applies equally to Octomom Nadya Suleman and Kate Gosselin from Jon & Kate Plus 8 – it means there’s a bit of a struggle for dominance going on at the moment.
The problem seems to be that even though both Nadya Suleman and Kate Gosselin give birth to so many children that you could be forgiven for thinking, from a distance, that they’d both legitimately hidden industrial-sized popcorn makers up their vaginas, and they both also seem to be so desperate for money and fame that you wouldn’t be too surprised if they shot one of their children out of a cannon into a wall for $50 and cover of US Weekly, they’re the characteristics that they hate most about each other.
Here’s what Nadya Suleman told Radaronline about Kate Gosselin, after Kate told Dr Phil that she was concerned for Nadya’s mental health:
?She needs to stop being so judgmental and stop pulling at straws for attention. She has her own obvious issues – internal issues – she needs to stop harshly making judgments towards me. She doesn't even know me. Don't you have, like, a lot of issues in your life? A lot of marital problems? Why are you so desperate to glob on to my life? For attention??
So who’s right and who’s wrong here? Is Nadya Suleman or Kate Gosselin the villain of the piece? Let’s find out:
KATE GOSSELIN:
Children: Eight.
Marital status: Messy. Lucratively messy.
Kidsploitation: Several seasons of Jon & Kate Plus 8, all kinds of books, more magazine covers than a billion computers could ever count in all of eternity.
Other characteristics: The first mother to get famous for her inability to use contraception. Constantly complaining about media attention. Unable to grasp concept of irony.
NADYA SULEMAN:
Children: 14.
Marital status: Single.
Kidsploitation: Endless interviews with anyone who asks, a reality TV show in the works, a trademarked nickname, possible gruesome porn movie on the horizon.
Other characteristics: Looks a bit like Angelina Jolie from a distance, then you get closer and realise that she’s had so many children her genitals have got so loose that she possibly has to tie them to her thigh with and old belt and you’re all like “Ugh”.
So who’s the winner here? oh, let’s call it a tie. You’re both awful. Now go away.
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Holly says
ok, first of all. Jon and Kate were unable to have children on their own and had their twin girls, then they wanted just one more and wound up with 8. Your statement of Kate being unable to use contraception is wrong because that was not an issue.2nd, Octomom is totally in the wrong for going back to the fertility clinic in order to have more children when she wasn’t even able to afford the ones she already had. He Dr. is also in the wrong for letting her do this!
Holly says
I mean Jon and Kate had 6 the 2nd time, not 8…it’s still early here
Joke Police says
Thanks for the clarification.
Anonymous says
STRAIGHT UP: Kate Gosselin and John had eight kids to make money and to bring fame to themselves. New reporters and companies pay them to appear on television and to give them the “truth”. When Kate and John were happy, they were thriving with money and fame and loving the source: the babies. When Octomom Nadya Sulleman popped up everyone got interested into her. Jate’s fame anad money was slipping away. The catch is you have eight kids to deal with.
:P says
I agree with Anonymous, after you have nothing you have the eight non-resourceful babies to take care of and SPEND money on. I am a parent of one and he was hard enough. Imagine eight!! Kate came in second. When Nadya had been exposed as messy, Kate found her opportunity. Nadya may be new, but Kate will be the neat one. And thats when Kate wanted to be the perfect parent with kids in order. She got stricter and stricter when the couple realized the plan didn’t work. Nadya was right Katie did this outrage for attention, but they BOTH(men too) want money and fame. What is better than innocent babies?
Old School Woman says
Pot calling the kettle black. I have no respect for either one of these women. They are both exploiting their kids for money. Though Kate may have started out as the doting mom she is now a celebrity wannabe DIVA (or at least she thinks she is). She has now had as much plastic surgery as OCTOMOM. Instead of ranting about each other in the media they need to both STAY HOME and take care of their own children.