That Matthew McConaughey, he's – you know – well groomed, isn't he? Stars in a lot of romantic comedies. And as for Lance Armstong, he spends all his time with a razor-sharp bike seat jutting into his anus, right?
You don't think that, you know, Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong are, well, gay. Do you? They've been spending an awful lot of time with each other lately, quite often with their tops off. Well you can think again buddy, because Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong are totally not gay. How not gay are Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstong? So not gay that they can give interviews to magazines together spelling out exactly how not gay they are, that's how not gay.
Up until today it had been a good week for same sex relationships, what with Lindsay Lohan and Keira Knightley lezzing it up in the name of equal opportunities and all, but homosexual karma has come along and slapped everyone in the face to restore the balance. Anyone thinking that they'd get to see an internet sex tape of World's Sexiest Man Matthew McConaughey and one-testicled bike rider Lance Armstrong thwumping away at each other like monkeys in a zoo any time soon should prepare themselves for some sour disappointment – Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong have both given a joint Oprah-style interview to Details magazine where they explain that they aren't gay. We didn't know that anyone thought that Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong were gay in the first place if we're honest, but here's what Matthew McConaughey had to say on the matter anyway:
"We tried it. Wasn't for us… A lot of people don’t understand friendship and brotherhood. I have a great friend in him. I’d do anything he asked me to, even though he’d probably never ask me to, and he feels the same way. It’s fun going out and living life and doing things at the drop of a hat. LiveStrong just happens to be the most deliberate guy I’ve ever met."
Of course, a lot of these rumours have to do with the amount of time that Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstrong have been spending together in the wake of their failed relationships with women. McConaughey has recently split up with Penelope Cruz while Lance Armstrong and Sheryl Crow are also no more. But there's nothing funny about it, says Lance Armstrong:
"Our friendship just kind of developed… I think people see pictures and they think we're these overgrown frat guys, but we all have those kinds of relationships – and relationship isn't a bad word. I mean, we all have buds, we all take guy trips, but you take something very normal and you put it in a magazine, and people start talking. It's like, either you sleep with anything that moves or you're gay. They can't figure it out."
And, for the record, the hi NRG dance remix cover version of Especially For You that Matthew McConaughey and Lance Armstong are releasing – and its sweaty, lycra-based video – is just to help make more money for booze when they go out for nights of arm-wrestling boys and shouting at strippers. OK?
Read more:
Lance Armstrong & Matthew McConaughey: We're Not Gay – People
[story by Stuart Heritage]
Queen Senath CarMel Anderson says
Matthew McConaughey has never been gay whatsoever. He is engage to The Monarch of all Nations. Queen Senath is the mother of his 10 year old twin daughters Princesses Priscilla and Penelope. She got pregnant when he was filming Amistad. He is not Camila Alves boyfriend, he can’t stand her, she is a lesbian and has schizophrenia. And Matthew and Queen Senath can’t stand gay lifestyle. They have always loved each other. Queen Senath is planning a royal wedding.