Miley Cyrus has managed to get through a photo shoot without flashing her jail-bait back to anyone.
Thank God for that. We can once again look at Miley Cyrus without feeling like the spirit of Josef Fritzl has entered into our souls.
Now all we need do is wait a few months until her sixteenth birthday and, abracadabra, we can gawp at her naked tweeny flesh without society judging us as perverts. God bless the American legal-system and its confused morals!
Oh, sweet Cyrus, it’s all cosy now. You’re America’s golden child and the whole country has got your back. But soon you’ll want your freedom; you’ll want to go out to clubs and meet male people who’ll want to introduce you to Mr Winky!
You’ll probably find that you’re naturally inclined to like Mr Winky too, and it’s nothing to be ashamed of, Miley, but you will be ashamed – because you’re the Disney girl.
Disney girls don’t do sex, they get impregnated by swirling kisses, their babies delivered to them by stalks, and as the DUIs and the rehab visits steadily increase as you fail to deal with the forever blossoming fact that nobody lives happily ever after in this horrible world, we’ll still be here, gawping at you and gawping at you, safe in the knowledge that your resultant disintegrating, achey-breaky heart was exactly what we were after.
That’s one potential future at least.
In the new pictures, she is standing fully-clothed in between Mickey and Minnie Mouse, all three of them with post-coitus-ish smiles stretched across their face.
We are not suggesting for one moment that Mickey, Minnie and Miley had a Disneyfied three-way – why would you even think that? The style of their smile is merely a coincidence. Not that we wouldn’t wish it upon Mickey – God knows he must be bored after a centuries worth of fucking that particular squeaky dullard. We bet he dreams of Minnie taking part in an Annie Leibovitz photoshoot!
God damn it Minnie! Rip that soccer-mom dress off, open up your spindly-kegs, show Mickey the rat of the mouse and finally give him something worthwhile to write home to Pluto about.
There were rumours that Disney wanted to cease all links with Miley after she showed her back breasts to the world, but they’re pretty much ended now with this photo-shoot, along with her upcoming performance at the Walt Disney World Resort in Orlando on Saturday.
Stay tuned for all the latest Miley Cyrus news, coming to you from a world called hecklerspray.
Read more – Miley Cyrus back in squeaky-clean mode after topless shoot – Telegraph
Krum says
You are an ass-wipe…this is the stupidest post regarding the Miley “controversy” that I’ve read yet. Hate to break it to ya pervert, but Miley is a good girl (who got manipulated into something she didn’t want to do) and she will never become the spank-bank material that you hope she will. Move on, jack-ass…
melinda says
i think that this websight is gey i no it wasnt miloeys falt and plus that is what the news is for i mean come on do an article about the joanas brothers and like they sa leave britney alone so leave miley alone
unknown says
you fucking bastard you shouldnt say those things about people you know nothing about!they were just pics and they dont mean anything!i agree with melinda leave her alone!just forget it!
PacificGatePost says
LEIBOVITZ AND THE HANNA MONTANA TEARDOWN
Adult market magazines using kids in provocative poses? Is that ONLY inappropriate behavior?
http://pacificgatepost.blogspot.com/2008/04/leibovitz-and-hanna-montana-teardown.html
Adult executives know better. They just don’t seem to DO better.
There is nothing innocent about an adult magazine portraying a 15 year old pretending to be naked, hair tousled, wrapped in a bed sheet.
Ashley says
i never thought i would have to say this but i hate her!!♥♥♥♥☺☺☺☻☻☻♥♥♥☺☺☺☻☻☻
chris matta says
miley i’ve always loved you and i’m from lebanon and i love to see you in there to watch your concert and you have a very sexy photos you should continu like that because the man is big in his penes and girls are hot for there … like you and you are hot continu like that please put me on you fan mail please
David says
hey bro she is never ganna do yo she is just ganna read it and and giggle and do nothing nothing at all so you have to forget about it i am so sorry to say this bro