Naomi Campbell isn't just a supermodel, she's also a role-model – and legions of young women will rush to do exactly what she does.
Which means that millions of girls will now be frantically trying to grow a cyst in their stomachs so they can fly to Brazil and have it chopped out of them just like their hero Naomi Campbell.
Nobody knows why Naomi Campbell flew all the way to Brazil just to get a cyst removed, but it was highly important that she did get it removed – after all, she's a supermodel and that tiny sac of fluid had probably tripled her bodyweight, the fat cow.
If Naomi Campbell ever died in surgery and her life flashed in front of her eyes, we get the feeling that it'd be a little bit like watching the last few scenes of The Passion Of The Christ in fast forward. All the hits would be there – the mobile phone attack, the boat-smashing and the alleged drug counsellor assaulting – and it'd be brilliant to watch. Like Die Hard only about a vaguely delusional narcissist doing in her employees instead of whatever Die Hard was about.
But let's not get ahead of ourselves here – Naomi Campbell hasn't died. But she has been to hospital in Brazil for a minor operation, which is kind of the same thing. Sort of. Anyway, Naomi Campbell went to a Brazilian hospital on Monday to have a cyst removed from her stomach. It was important that she has the small fluid-filled sac removed from her body because, well, it's weird if there's something growing in your body that's cleverer than your own brain, isn't it. Metro reports:
The 37-year-old is 'recovering well' after she went under the knife to remove the growth from her stomach in Sao Paolo. Her spokesman said: 'Naomi Campbell was admitted to hospital to have a small cyst removed. 'Following the successful procedure, she is now resting and is looking forward to getting back to work.' Dr Jos Aristodemo Pinotti, who reportedly operated on Campbell, refused to give details of the surgery but said: 'I can say she was operated on and is completely cured. 'It was an emergency operation but everything went well. There were no incidents or any problems that worried me during the surgery.'
Nice to hear that Naomi Campbell is getting better, then. But the question persists – why Brazil? If the surgery was such an emergency, then why didn't Naomi Campbell just stay in the UK and have it done? Could it be that Naomi Campbell wanted to be surrounded by pretty Brazilian nurses instead of slightly dumpy disinterested British ones?
Or – and we think this is probably the case – did Naomi Campbell discover that all surgical beds in Brazil come with extra-strong leather straps used to lash patients down in operations in case they wake up midway through and have another one of their logic-defying rage attacks that ends up with blood everywhere and an anaesthetist pulling a scalpel out of their eye? Maybe we'll never know.
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