Most supermodels won't get out of bed for less than a million dollars and all the watercress they can eat – usually three pieces of watercress – but today Naomi Campbell got out of bed for a whole lot less that that; she got up to go to court.
That in itself is slightly unusual – Naomi Campbell has a rare habit of missing court dates – but today was different. Today Naomi Campbell decided that she would plead guilty to the assault charge stemming from the time she hurled a jewel-encrusted mobile phone at her maid's head and knocked her all bandy. All said, the guilty plea worked a treat for Naomi Campbell; she's been shown a great deal of leniency by the judge, who has even given Naomi some community service that plays to her strengths – five whole days of punching the shit out of some east European service industry workers while swearing imaginatively at them as loudly as she can. Or something. Actually, we just made that last bit up.
To say Naomi Campbell has a bit of a temper is a lot like saying that Britney Spears likes puking on men – it's a crippling understatement. In the past Naomi Campbell has smashed up entire boats with her fists over a disagreement about starters and hit former employees on the noggin with telephones – but Naomi Campbell bit off more than she could chew when she threw a jewel-encrusted mobile phone at the back of her maid Ana Scolavino's head, spitting it open like a watermelon, or at least some form of easily damaged fruit.
After this happened, Naomi Campbell was charged with assault and then proceeded to turn up in court or not turn up in court depending on how she felt at any specific moment in time. For a while it looked like Naomi Campbell would agree to a plea deal, but then she realised that it might involve having to talk to poor people, so the deal fell apart pretty quickly. And now Naomi Campbell has finally pleaded guilty on her assault charge in a New York court, as Reuters reports:
Supermodel Naomi Campbell pleaded guilty in Manhattan Criminal Court on Tuesday to assaulting her housekeeper with a mobile phone and was sentenced to five days community service. Campbell pleaded guilty to third degree assault and was also fined $363.32 and ordered to attend anger management classes.
While that may seem as if Naomi Campbell got off lightly, think again. Five days of community service means that Naomi Campbell will face five days of Boy George-style wigging out on the streets of New York, and our entertainment will be punishment enough. But at least this means that – now that she's pleaded guilty to assault – Naomi Campbell can walk out of court with her head held high and her slate rubbed clean. Well, clean except for the claims of assault by her drug counsellor and the maid who's suing her for being a 'violent super-bigot' – but who's counting those, right?
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Jess says
Betcha wouldn’t say that to her face