There are plenty of scummy jobs out there, but being Naomi Campbell's maid is probably the scummiest. Unless you're Naomi Campbell's PA, or Naomi Campbell's drugs counsellor, or Naomi Campbell's boyfriend.
Look, our point is that if you ever cross Naomi Campbell, there's a slight chance that you'll be picking your teeth out of your rectum with a handful of broken fingers, unless of course the mobile phone that Naomi Campbell used as a rudimentary cosh to batter you with has been pushed so far into your brain that you've lost all basic motor skills. OK, we're slightly exaggerating – but it's fair to say that Naomi Campbell is about as good at avoiding trouble as Oprah Winfrey is at getting wedding invites off other famous people. And Naomi Campbell's troubles have just deepened, since another former maid has come out of the woodwork to sue Naomi for – brilliantly – being a "violent super-bigot."
You know how Marvel wants to make hundreds of superhero movies? Well if it ever starts running out of superheros to make movies about, perhaps Marvel can take inspiration from Naomi Campbell's latest spot of trouble and make a Violent Super-Bigot movie. It'd be great – about a normal human being who takes on superhuman attributes by being a bit right-wing now and again. There's a meteor coming to destroy the Earth? Just tell Violent Super-Bigot that it's full of space-immigrants, black single mother ones with Asbos at that, and – BAM! – Violent Super Bigot will punch it into dust and save the world. Marvel, that one is yours for free.
Not that we could claim ownership of the title of Violent Super-Bigot, though – that's what one of Naomi Campbell's old maids is calling her. Gaby Gibson has filed her second lawsuit against Naomi Campbell, after the first one was dismissed because papers weren't filed within a set deadline. According to People, this is why Gaby Gibson is suing Naomi Campbell:
Gibson's latest suit calls Campbell, 36, a "violent super-bigot" who disparaged the maid – who was in Campbell's employ from late 2005 until early 2006 – with such remarks as, "You are not in the Third World any more, stupid," and "Romanians are not usually as dumb as you." Gibson, in her filing, says the model hit her on Jan. 17, called her names and threatened to charge her with theft after being unable to find a pair of Stella McCartney jeans. Bending over in the closet to search for the slacks, "Campbell either kicked or punched the back of Gibson's head … while yelling discriminatory comments," according to the legal papers.
The lawsuit couldn't come at a worse time for Naomi Campbell – she's also due in court today to face charges of assault stemming from a housemaid's claim that Naomi Campbell hurled a mobile phone at the back of her head in an argument about some jeans – a claim that has variously seen Naomi Campbell go to court or not really bother turning up to court. The charges are serious, too – Naomi Campbell faces up to seven years in jail if she's convicted. What's more, even if Naomi Campbell escapes punishment for those charges, there's also the alleged assault that Naomi is claimed to have carried out in London last month that she may need to come back and face.
All of which – if true – leaves a nasty taste in the mouth. We much prefer the cuddly Naomi Campbell who smashed a yacht into chips with her fists because she didn't care for the food she was offered. That's the Naomi Campbell that our children should aspire to be like.