We've come to realise that it's just a matter of time before Miley Cyrus has us all in the iron grip of a malevolent dictatorship now.
Why? Well, as if having a top-rated TV show, a number one movie and a bunch of chart-topping albums, isn't enough, now it's been revealed that Miley Cyrus is going to host the CMT awards.
You heard correctly – Miley Cyrus is going to host this year's CMT awards. The world's third-biggest country and western-themed awards show. It doesn't get much bigger than that. Apart from the world's second-biggest country and western-themed awards show, or the world's first-biggest country and western-themed awards show. Or any other awards show at all. Is there no stopping this Miley Cyrus woman?
It's fair to say that Miley Cyrus currently has the level of ubiquity that you'd normally expect from a veteran movie star, or at least a Hollywood socialite with a borderline personality disorder and a history of extensive rehab visits. Everything that Miley Cyrus does turns to gold – her TV show, her live concerts, her albums, her movie, her semi-risque pouty mobile phone videos – and what awards show wouldn't want a slice of something that horrifyingly robotic?
Miley Cyrus cut her awards show teeth by becoming a presenter at Sunday's Oscars – although if you tried looking for Oscars clips on YouTube you might be under the impression that the show was basically six hours of nothing but Miley Cyrus grinning earnestly at a lectern – and now she's taking it one step further, by hosting the entire CMT awards in April, as the Associated Press reports:
Billy Ray Cyrus and daughter Miley will host and perform at the 2008 CMT Music Awards. The seventh annual awards show will air live April 14 on CMT from Belmont University's Curb Event Center. Alan Jackson, Brad Paisley, Carrie Underwood, Sugarland, Taylor Swift and Toby Keith will also be among the performers. "Miley and I are so excited to be hosting the CMT Music Awards," Cyrus said Tuesday in a statement. "We know it will be a fun-filled night with a lot of great music performances."
Miley Cyrus and Billy Ray Cyrus together? What the the CMT awards organisers thinking? Everyone knows that when Miley Cyrus and Billy Ray Cyrus get together, things are bound to end up with a stupefyingly inane country ballad duet about flying high on the wings of freedom or a charity-angering display of riding around in a car without a seatbelt.
Can the CMT awards live with that kind of knife-edge controversy? Can it? Can it really? Given that the CMT awards is mostly about giving hunks of metal to buck-toothed banjo players, we're not awfully sure it can.
But at least you know what you're getting by allowing Miley Cyrus to host an awards show. Months and months of hearing your children beg and blackmail you into spending more money than you earn on a ticket to a fifth-rate awards show for a style of music that you'd rather cut off your feet than listen to, all just so they can look at an unusually confident teenager say some dull words about cowboys for 30 seconds at a time, that's what.
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