Hannah Montana made Miley Cyrus a star – well, to be more accurate it was Hannah Montana, constant implied teenage nudity and a creepy dad.
But for now let’s just assume that Hannah Montana made Miley Cyrus famous. It was a great set-up – Disney got hundreds of millions of dollars and Miley Cyrus got to be brought up surrounded by people all too scared to ever disagree with her, giving her dangerously false expectations for the rest of her life – but there may be trouble on the horizon.
Rumour has it that Miley Cyrus feels she’s got too big for Hannah Montana and is trying to get fired from the show. However, Disney has shot down these reports and has promised all the young fans that Miley Cyrus will remain on Hannah Montana forever. Nice try, Miley. Don’t you know that the only way to leave a creatively stifling kid’s TV show is to get pregnant? Did Jamie Lynn Spears teach you nothing?
We get the feeling that Miley Cyrus is trying to grow up and shed her teenybop image at the moment. It might not be obviously apparent, but it’s true – we’ve managed to pick up hints by observing the way that Miley Cyrus keeps taking off all her clothes, has snared herself a 20-year-old underwear model boyfriend and has curiously developed a voice that sounds like Dr Claw from Inspector Gadget.
And quite right too – just because Miley Cyrus is three years away from being able to vote or have sex and six years away from being able to drink and still lives with her parents and isn’t even allowed to go and see Tropic Thunder by herself yet, it doesn’t mean she’s a child.
But there’s one thing standing between Miley Cyrus and her dreams of maturity, and that’s her show Hannah Montana. Hannah Montana is a sensation – it has spawned a movie, sold-out tours, ten CDs, four DVDs, five videogames and 20 novelisations in two years – but it appears that Miley Cyrus might be getting a little bit sick of it holding her back.
Reports this week suggested that Miley Cyrus was going all-out to get the sack from Hannah Montana, by turning up to work late, holding up filming wherever possible and generally infuriating everyone she works with. However, leaving aside the fact that Hannah Montana makes so much money that Miley Cyrus could probably stroll into work clutching the severed head of Nelson Mandela and not get fired for it, Disney and Miley have rushed out statements to deny these reports outright. According to Reuters:
Patti McTeague, a Disney spokeswoman for the “Hannah Montana” show, told Reuters that reports of on-set turmoil were “absolutely not true, pure gossip.” “I am fully committed to ‘Hannah Montana,'” Cyrus told People, “It’s what gave me this amazing opportunity to reach out to so many people.”
Look, everyone, this united front act is nice and all, but you can drop it. If Miley Cyrus wants to leave Hannah Montana, let her.
And so what if Miley’s attempts to become a proper grown-up entertainer leave her twisting in the wind like a modern-day Dustin Diamond because she never realised that people only liked her for being in Hannah Montana? It’s not as if Miley doesn’t have other career options – we’re sure she’ll make a bucketload of money from the tragic, embittered ‘Dad, you stole my childhood’ autobiography that she’ll inevitably write before the age of 25, for example.
And Disney should think of the benefits of Miley Cyrus leaving Hannah Montana too – with her gone, it’ll be free to start up a brand new cacky kid’s sitcom with a younger, cheaper teenage star who’ll quickly get corrupted by fame and end up having bizarre opinions of herself that are far above her station as well. It’s not the end of the world by any means.
Mithaearon says
I only really found out what Hannah Montana was at the weekend when my neice showed me a bit of it. I went “ooh its the Hecklerspray girl that is always taking her clothes off” and got strange looks from my neiece and her mum. At least I know what all these Cyrus stories are about now.
Eugene says
Miley is just the latest model off the assembly line at the Disney tween starlet factory. I’m sure there are one or two newer models in the final stages of assembly almost ready to be wheeled on stage.
shooty* says
Proud to say that I have no idea what this program is about whatsoever. :)
viko says
me re da esta infio pero tiene que venir en español.!!!!!,chau
Shane says
This is amazing. Take a look at the other articles this @$$clown wrote. Every single one of them is slamming Cyrus (whatever her first name is).
So what? The show is OK, I let my kids watch it, once a day. It’s not something like sTResame street, but then again, some mindless fun can be good for kids every now and again.
Sometimes it just takes a little more digging around and not just looking at an idiot with a blog thinking he / she is a professional journalist.
When you can come up with something besides your own ideas, thoughts and scares, then you’ll be looked at seriously. Until then, your no better than one of those scr1p7 k1dd13s that sits in mommies basement arguing about the next movie……. A La Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back.
Seriously now, what did Miley do to you to p1ss you off so bad this month? Nearly all your stories are slamming her, her father, her show, etc.
–Toll_Free
mz lbw bitchess says
miley cyrus iz a lil hoe n she need 2 know dat nick dnt want ha azz.ha mutherfuckin daddy need 2 teach dat lil fast azz gurl sum respect n if i wuz ha mother or father dat lil hoe wouldnt b able 2 do shit i’ll b beatin ha azz everytime she do sum n she iz constally mkin her father look bad she juss a lil ungrateful lil white bitch n she got aw des lil gurl wanna b like ha buyin ha clothes n lilsten 2 ha music n shit but wen u turn around she strippin 4 nick or doin sum so fuckin dumb.UR NOT A GUD ROLEMODEL 4 NO ONE N HER FATHER BILLY IZ JUSS LETIN HER GET AWAY WIT EVERYTHING HE IZ DUMB AZ HERE AZZ MILEY U IZ A REAL DUMB LIL BITCH IF IT WASNT 4 DISENY HA AZZ WASNT GONNA B SHIT N SHE AINT SHIT WITHOUT DISENY N NICK DOESNT WANT YO AZZ SO GET USED 2 IT BITCH
Gabe says
That’s a diva for you!!! miley being cyrus!!!!!!!
Favourite TV Program says
I disagree because i still love Hannah Montana.
Gilbert Wham says
I disagree because you’re all cretins.
Rogbog4299 says
Hannah Montana is one of those things that if someone told you it could be big you would probably say no way! But you would be wrong.
Julian Mentat says
Bichess; could you answer me something?
We English-speaking people simply don’t read cat-on-a-keyboard disasters like your post.
But I wonder; do you read what WE write?
Because you seem to have read the article, which is correctly spelt and punctuated. And yet you don’t imitate it. You don’t LEARN. You don’t seek to improve yourself.
What’s going on?
evilcl0ne says
“UR NOT A GUD ROLEMODEL”, whereas ‘Bitchness’, with your grasp of the modern language I am sure you are perfect.
boo123 says
I personally think shes nothing without hannah montana, because that’s what brought her to fame NOT HER SINGING-> according to her dad, the music business will make them more money. it was the image that disney created for her that reached out to all those kids and also all those thousands of merchandizes she’s making money out of will be gone, she just doesn’t realize how good she has it. pity pity.
Named says
It’s okay if Miley Cyrus leaves Hannah Montana. This kid has got Hollywood written all over her. Did you see her at the Academy Awards? She looked pretty damned stunning for a 15 year old. In fact, after she leaves HM her managers should focus on getting her into some huge, money-making, blockbuster with a well written story and bad ass special effects.
She’d be perfect for the role of SUPERGIRL, if the movie ever gets made.
Marilyn says
Yeah, of course she’s not leaving! Miley obviously won’t be on Hannah Montana FOREVER. She just now signed up for a new movie. So she WILL be moving on. Look at Ashley Tisdale, she left The Suite Life of Zack and Cody, now she’s doing movies outside of Disney and doing great.
Hannah Montana says
hey guys!
Whatever! says
“mz lbw bitchess”, you text way too much. Do you even know how to spell any of the words you were making short?
G.K says
itz her lyf she can live it however she wantz to, you ppl should get something beta to do.
saso says
i don’t miley will ever leave hannah montana cz people liked miley after they knew she was hannah .
hannah/miley luv u both a lot…..
bertah says
she is talented and special ,i dont think she is tryin to do that
Hannah montana is what made her so famous in a very short time people like her because of hannah montana show.
i dont know why these people are alwys tryin to say those things about her,she rocks
and her dad is a good dad to ,is not his falt that miley sometimes acts… well LIKE A TEENAGER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
O.fuckk.its.jess. says
Hell yeah.
What a fuckkking hottie:).