Poor Michael Jackson – creatively spent, reportedly too ill to perform, lacking the qualifications necessary to become a kindergarten teacher.
The man is just running out of options. Apart from one – it’s been reported that Michael Jackson is putting together a big-budget Mamma Mia-style musical based on his album Thriller. The Thriller musical is thought to be based on the video to the album’s eponymous single, featuring legions of grotesque undead cadavers who terrify you witless the second you glance at them.
Goodness, we didn’t know that Michael Jackson was going to be starring in it as well.
Mamma Mia has a lot to answer for, doesn’t it? Simply by plopping a load of Abba songs together around a painfully contrived storyline and presenting it in a way that appeals to both hen-parties and people who like things that aren’t good, Mamma Mia has become a global sensation and, more importantly, inspired other acts to copy the formula.
So far there have been musicals based on the songs of Madness, Queen, Take That, The Proclaimers and – hopefully in the very near future – the album The Moment by Kenny G. But there’s one artist with a catalogue that’s crying out to be turned into a musical. And that artist is Michael Jackson.
We’re not saying that because we think that Michael Jackson’s songs would make for a good musical, mind you – we’re just saying that the poor chap probably needs the cash at the moment. In recent months Michael Jackson has been forced to sell his home, become the target of a lawsuit from the world’s angriest sheikh and has reportedly developed lungs the size of peanuts that could do him in at any minute.
So this news couldn’t have come at a better time – apparently Michael Jackson is putting together a stage musical based on his album Thriller.
Now, the more eagle-eyed among you will have noticed that there’s already a London musical based on the music of Thriller, but it hasn’t been sanctioned by Michael himself. This new musical will be completely official and creatively masterminded by Michael Jackson, so it’ll probably feature an extended mid-section where the audience is forced to stand up and salute a big picture of Michael Jackson nailed to a cross like Jesus and crying tears that spell the words ‘Love me’ in a puddle underneath him. Anyway, BBC News reports:
[Producer] Mr Nederlander’s organisation said the Broadway production “will be the exclusive Michael Jackson authorised version of Thriller.” The show is expected to be based around the video for Thriller, which was first shown in 1983 and starred Jackson as a werewolf and featured dancing zombies. No details of the musical have yet been revealed.
Now, look, don’t get too excited about this – for all we know, this Thriller musical could go the same way as other proposed Michael Jackson endeavours of late, like the charity singles and the comeback albums and the 50ft laser-eyed Michael Jackson robot that was going to prowl around the Las Vegas desert at night. The absence of that last one stings most of all, you know.
But who knows, maybe this Thriller musical will be a huge success. Let’s hope so, because it could mean that Michael Jackson will go onto adapt his other albums to the musical form, too – like Bad, a musical about a man who is bad. Or Dangerous, a musical about a man who is dangerous. Or Invincible, a musical that nobody will go and see because all the songs in it are donkey bobbins.
magnetite says
If memory serves me right the last proposal of his was a remake of ‘The 5,000 fingers of Dr. T.’ – only there weren’t any musical instruments anywhere to be seen at the audition. Just fingers. 5,000 of them.
Dick says
Donkey bobbins? DONKEY BOBBINS?!! What the hell are DONKEY BOBBINS?!! You are one whacked out Brit with way too much time on your hands. Seriously…. DONKEY BOBBINS?
Erin says
Micheal Jackson making a musical!?! This is going to KILL (no pun intended) his and the song’s ratings. Bad choice,very bad choice.
thriller-frankfurt says
In germany the musical will start in some weeks!