Michael Jackson did not want to be buried. Everybody knows this – plus there’s no plot of ground that could possibly hold his greatness anyway.
On top of that – it’s common knowledge that in a 1987 Esquire magazine interview he clearly stated that upon death, in place of burial he wished his skeleton to be disassembled and turned into the world’s smallest roller coaster. As we understand it, his jaw bone was to be the car, and he envisioned mostly mice riding it.
Well whatever happens to his body – it’s not happening on his birthday. His funeral’s been pushed back again.
In the long history of the world there have been certain cannibalistic tribes that have sprung up. They made a practice of eating their enemies under the misconception that if they did so, they could gain their strength.
We want you to know that even with that in mind we’d still be pretty hesitant to throw Michael on the barbie. Sure, our dancing ability might improve a touch, but right now we really like our nose, and if he gets in our head that might change. Our mother could become so distressed.
Plus he always looked chewy.
Unfortunately, should we change our minds, we’d have plenty of time to find where they’re refrigerating his corpse and plot an elaborate Ocean’s 11 style robbery. Of course our version would have a much more grotesque ending, you know if Michael’s not cooked enough. Plus there’s always the risk of food poisoning when meat gets that old. It’s really a lot to think about – but we should have plenty of time. That’s because his burial‘s been pushed back again.
E! News says:
“Michael Jackson fans will have to wait a little while longer before their idol can finally rest in peace. What had been billed as a birthday burial for the late King of Pop on Aug. 29 at Forest Lawn Memorial Park has now been postponed to give the Jackson clan more time to prepare for the funeral. Joe Jackson told E! News Thursday that he doesn’t know when his son will be laid to rest, that there are still more things needed to get in order. So instead of doing it on what would’ve been his 51st birthday, they’ve opted to push the 10 a.m. burial service at the Holly Terrace in the cemetery’s Great Mausoleum back.”
What we’d like to know is this – what else could they possibly have to get in order? He’s been dead for going on two months now. Are they putting on another show but the dancers just aren’t getting it? Are the pallbearer monkeys not taking this seriously enough?
Perhaps it’s because his family likes to step into the freezer seeking Michael’s post-life advice. If his eyes stay frozen and rolled back in his head – that’s a yes.
Anyhow – for some reason the King of Pop is gonna be above ground for a while. And though that may bring comfort to his most ardent fans because they enjoy basking under the same sun as him, let’s remind them that he’s not in the sun. If he were, he’d definitely be spoilt by now.
StarCarlton says
Why don’t they just keep his body in that clear hyperbolic chamber he owns. Then the world can view his corpse for eternity.
JoeMomma says
I’d say sever his head and put it in a jar a-la Futurerama.
russian translation says
No matter how they love the music of Michael, I’m pretty sure that most people would want to hear that he has FINALLY come to his permanent resting place.
susie says
MJ DESERVES A MOSULOM OF HIS OWN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!