Happy Birthday Michael Jackson, Here’s That Burial You’ve Always Wanted
Michael Jackson’s death is such a drag. True, he’s have a huge tribute show in September and a film out in October.
But what about August? We demand more! We pay Michael Jackson’s wages, after all! Entertain us, Michael Jackson! And we don’t mean by the ongoing investigation into your allegedly unlawful death, either! We mean something fun! Something like a private burial on what would have been your 51st birthday! Really? That’s what your family is organising? Fine, you’re forgiven. Oh, we could never stay mad at you, you big lug.
Wait, Michael Jackson hasn’t been buried yet? Ugh.
It would have been Michael Jackson’s 51st birthday on August 29. And, the man of simple pleasures that he was, he didn’t want much in the way of gifts. Maybe some Jesus Juice, or a bunch of arbitrary crap with his own face drawn on it, or enough industrial-strength medical anaesthetic to put him into a coma for a couple of days. Like we said, simple pleasures.
But oh no. Instead of giving Michael Jackson what he wants for his birthday, his family has decided to put him in the ground instead. Literally in the ground – he’s being buried and stuff at the Forest Lawn Memorial-Park in Glendale. The Los Angeles Times reports:
Jackson will be interred Aug. 29, which would have been his 51st birthday, in an intimate morning service for family and friends in the expansive cemetery’s Great Mausoleum, according to a statement from the family publicist. The pop singer’s remains will be placed in a crypt in the Holly Terrace section of the mausoleum.
Who will Michael Jackson be sharing the mausoleum with? Why, the likes of Clark Gable and Jean Harlow, who we’re sure will be thrilled at all the constant intrusion from all the boggle-eyed Michael Jackson fans who keep breaking in to try and touch their hero at night.
But it doesn’t really matter where Michael Jackson will be buried. He’s already received the send-off he deserved and, unless they ferry in Usher and that kid from Britain’s Got Talent to stand in the doorway of the mausoleum and bellow spooky versions of Don’t Stop Till You Get Enough at the mourners, this burial is bound to be an anti-climax, at least in terms of spectacle.
Anyway, Michael Jackson has been dead for almost two months now, so his burial is well deserved. Although there must be a small part of Michael Jackson’s family that wants to hold off for a little while longer. After all, Jermaine Jackson is organising that big tribute concert to Michael in Vienna next month, and that’d be much more of a draw if Michael’s body was lowered down on wires and made to sway backwards and forwards during the big singalong finish of We Are The World, wouldn’t it?
And by burying him now, Michael’s not really making himself available for the chat show circuit to promote his new movie, is he? Selfish, that’s what he is.
Your are just disgusting. Sometime you will have to pay for being what you are.
What, funny?
Whateva
you cannot spell!
Hope the family brings nose plugs! He must be smelling like year-old rotten eggs by now.
Will this overblown saga never end?!
Not only is the writer of this a sick person..so are some of your comments . The family had every right to laid to rest on his birthday. You people are SICK!(not all the comments were disrespectful)
I would pay tens of dollars to hear a spooky version of “Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough.”
That’d be even better than when those folk singer ladies covered “Toxic.”
he was so cute when he was young! but why he gotta be buried on his birthday doesnt make sense
he was such a cutie when he was younger sometimes i wish i was brooke shields could you imagine going to the grammys with him
This whole article was disgusting.
.. and he is not smelling dumbass.. he was still in a refrigrator…
but anyway it is a very sick idea to bury him on his bday.
It was a fun to celebrate his bday in every year.. not it will be just full with sadness..
Why is it “very sick”? Seriously, it’s just a day. I don’t get what the big deal is!
WOW! BUDDY! UR FUCKIN SICK! ,HOW U GUNNA TALK SHIT BOUT THE KING OF POP? LIKE U JEALOUS CUZ HE DEAD AND STILL MAKIN MORE MONEY THEN U ???
OR U JUST PLAIN FUCKIN STUPID! ,SERIOUSLY MAN GROW THE FUCK UP BEFOR U GET URSELF BEAT THE FUCK DOWN!
What the hell? This is so disrespectful. This writer is an absolute jerk, I hope he/she is ashamed. You disgust me. Go to hell you’re not funny!!
ha
MJ touched kids inappropriately didn’t he?
Why are people so upset? I think MJ would like the idea of being lowered on wires and swaying back and forth. He would be just like Peter Pan flying then. And, hey, he is never gonna get older like Peter Pan, too.
fuk all the junkie that BITE with their DIRTY and POOR mouths.
U R jealous!HaHa,You must comsider that U WILL NEVER BE SUCCESSFUL Like KING OF POP,the real angel~~~~~~
Happy birthday,Michael~Love you forever~~Be happy now~~
?????????~~
And I just picture you as the very model of success
Repeat after me, “Would you like fires with that”
“Would you like an apple pie”
“Would you care to super size that order”
Stupid little punk
Happy BirthdayMichaelJackson!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!I LoveYou!Love your big and beautiful fan,Kim aka LadyK!
Happy Birthday Michael
You have no respect for Michael. Michael jackson was and is the king of Pop!!!!!!!!! You should respect michael and his familiy.
HAPPY 51st BIRTHDAY MICHAEL WE LOVE YOU SO MUCH. FOREVER THE KING OF POP.
Happy Birthday Michael!
Our slavish devotion to a pop singer has blinded our limited intellects to the obvious reality of your past behaviour, which nearly landed you in jail for twenty years!
..actually, had that happened he (might) still be alive.
..as long as they kept him WELL away from the population in there..