Michael Jackson’s big London comeback has been officially announced, with the slogan ‘This Is It.’
And now we know what ‘it’ is. Previously we assumed that it was just Michael Jackson’s damage limitation technique – as in “This is it, folks, a middle-aged man who looks like a walking osteoporosis-crippled jawbone singing songs from 25 years go. Happy now?” Turns out he’s just retiring afterwards.
Either way, if you live in London and you don’t like the idea of spending an entire summer listening to everyone bang on about Michael Jackson every day, you should leave immediately.
Well look at that. Michael Jackson’s big announcement – the one that required a flight to London, a gigantic press conference and a ?5,000 a night hotel – was to inform everyone of his final comeback shows after all. Better luck next time, everyone who thought that he’d announce Moonwalker 2 or admit that actually he did feel up those teenage cancer victims after all.
Earlier today in London, Michael Jackson told the whole world that he’d be performing his final shows in London at a 10-night residency at the 20,000 capacity O2 Arena in July, putting an end to an extended period of silence that’s either been down to chronic stage-fright, a conscious decision to back away from the limelight or the fact that he’s reportedly riddled with MRSA, has lungs the size of M&Ms and can’t go longer than half an hour without his face falling apart like a marketstall Mr Potato Head.
And, just like the man himself, Michael Jackson’s comeback announcement was over-the-top, self-important and almost impossible to witness without being a little tiny bit creeped out. BBC News reports:
“This is it. I just want to say that these will be my final show performances in London.” His first words to fans were: “I love you so much.” He added: “This will be it. When I say this is it, it really means this is it. I’ll be performing the songs my fans want to hear. This is the final curtain call.”
But why has Michael Jackson really decided to stage a comeback now? Well, despite everything he’s said, it’s almost certainly because of the financial pickle he’s rumoured to be in. Hit with lawsuits left, right and centre, forced to sell his home and even reduced to selling a golf cart with a picture of him as Peter Pan painted across the bonnet, Michael Jackson knows that singing every night for a week and a bit is probably the easiest way to start repaying his debts.
All in all, Michael Jackson is rumoured to be earning over ?1 million a night for his run which, sure, will be exhausting for him, but as exhausting as shaking Japanese people’s hands for cash? Hardly – those Japanese businessmen sure do love to shake.
But anyway, like it or lump it, it looks like Michael Jackson is back. And by performing ten nights at the O2, it certainly shows us where Michael Jackson stands in terms of the greats. To be more specific, this is official proof that Michael Jackson is now half as good as Prince – who performed 21 dates at the O2 – but ten full times better than Led Zeppelin, who only performed one.
Try arguing with logic like that. Just try it.
Julian Mentat says
Michael was billed to be on stage at 4 today. He only LEFT HIS HOTEL at 4. He showed up at 5:30. Anyone who was still waiting is AN IDIOT.
shooty* says
He is SO not going to play those gigs. As you’re already presaged.
zane comer says
who ever fucking wrote this is a complete and utter immature, ignorant, just fucking worthless human being who doesnt deserve to walk the face of the earth. fuking piece of shit.
Gilbert Wham says
Only ONE crazed fanboi to defend Wacko? His star truly faded, eh? Chris Brown threads are chock-full of lunatics spouting bile, yet Wacko has only one Paladin to defend him. C-minus, BTW, that tirade needed work. And more spelling mistakes.
Julian Mentat says
Any fans of MJ reading this? Here’s something for you to try:
[1] Make a date with someone.
[2] Show up 90 minutes late. Are they still waiting?
[3] If they’re still waiting, do they greet you ecstatically or hit you upside the head?
[4] Try to patch over your horrible rudeness by saying: “I love you. I really do, you have to realize that, I love you so much. Really, from the bottom of my heart.”
If this all WORKS: congratulations, you are dating a moron and you can shaft them up the ass, just like MJ wants to shaft you.
t says
you a$@holes need to stop saying sh#t about michael jackson!!! first of all he’s innocent!! If you idiots took the time to read what actually happened instead of reading what the media says you would see that. Second of all you need to get a life!! Michael is a much better human being than any of you!! I don’t see you morons giving over $300 million to charities all over the world, and fans are loyal because they know he is a wonderful person!!
Julian Mentat says
>> If you idiots took the time to read what actually
>> happened instead of reading what the media says
OK, where can I “read what actually happened” without using the “media”?
euclid says
JM – ‘OK, where can I
Gomgom Hutapea says
God take Michael Jackson to Him side.
Hope any other people Like Michael Jackson, can give a message about protecting world. God Bless You Michael Jackson.
(Gomgom Hutapea – Indonesia – Sumatera Utara – Tobasamosir – Laguboti – Sitangkola)
'KING OF POP' DIES says
Michael Jackson, 1958-2009
‘KING OF POP’ DIES
Singer Michael Jackson dead at 50
Legendary pop star had been preparing for London comeback tour
Michael Jackson had been planning to start a series of comeback concerts in London and had been rehearsing in the Los Angeles area for the past two months. Promoters of the shows said in March that he had passed a lengthy physical examination.
updated 9:16 p.m. ET June 25, 2009
Michael Jackson, the sensationally gifted child star who rose to become the
BabyGods2 says
This is what happened with Michael Jackson.He called his doctor to tell him he was about to die.So his doctor rushed over as soon as he could.When he got there he gave Michael Jackson some pills,but he gave him too many.Then an hour later he died and his doctor called the hospital.He was out there so quick so nobody could figure out what happened.Now they found him and now there questioning him.I got this all from my friend.
donfish says
Hello what i will say is that i tell his family to be strong and bold and may michael jackson RIP
donfish says
MAY GOD KEEP HIS SOUL AND WE MUST PRAY FOR HIS FORGIVENESS SO THAT GOD WILL KEEP THE SOUL AS WELL AS POSSIBLE THANK YOOU AND I LOVE YOU ALL
mar says
well….ask him the reason why he came late b4 u say those bad words.
use ur brain to think why not your anger for person you dnt know.
mar says
Rest in Peace for MJ…
We Luv you!
fan says
ARE YOU SERIOUS WITH THIS SHIT?
Stuart..you should not be allowed to print this bullshit. You are a pathetic loser. Find something worthwhile to do with yoruself other than ranking on other human beings, this one which is sadly no longer with us.