Now hecklerspray's never stalked anyone, let's get that out of the way right from the get-go. We have, however, been unwillingly subjugated to a series of strange coincidences that made us run into Sarah Silverman several times in three different grocery stores, twice at the bathtub in Jimmy Kimmel's master bathroom, and once through that one-way glass window down at the precinct.
What we're saying here is nothing in our background allows us to relate in the slightest to Eminem's soul-filling fascination for Mariah Carey. We don't understand why he keeps begging her to be his sexy baby maker, we don't know why all his latest rhymes have ended in 'ariah', 'arey', or 'ainfully boring to listen to', and most of all we don't understand why he never actually said any of that stuff and forced us to make it up. It's hard, you know?
But the lady Carey thinks he's addicted to her anyway. She's pretty much said so, but probably in a high pitched wailing voice that hurts a little to listen to.
The retarded amongst us might argue that Mariah Carey is at the top of her game. She's got her curvy old-lady legs insured for almost their full value, the French don't mind when she pees in restaurants, name-wise she's practically in porn, and on top of all that she's got the undying love of Eminem. Oh, did we say love? Maybe we totally effed that wording up. This is how the human-butterfly put it:
"Something is clearly askew with him and I'm not quite sure what it is, I just heard something else he recently said about me. I'm curious as to why he's so obsessed with me."
Well that sounds more like Eminem hates Carey, now doesn't it? Not to worry Mariah, as the famed white rapper is all too eager to marry people he hates. And we've got a feeling about you two. We think that if you guys really want it, and you work hard for it, you can make it happen. Then pretty soon you'll be living a the typical American family life-style full of kids that love you, cookie toting neighbours, and one of those life-insurance policies that pays by the stab wound.
We heard some of them pay like that you know.
Read More:
Eminem obsessed with Mariah Carey? – Actress Archives
{ 22 comments… read them below or add one }
Aw c’mon… we’ve all been obsessed with Mariah Carey at one point or another. I Know I have, and I’ve got the implants to prove it
Who cares about a monkey-face like Maria Carey, anyway?
fuck mariah..she doesnt know shit about how eminem got to his stardom, fuck anyone who says he is obsessed..if anything y shouldnt carey ignore his (truthful) lyrics?
Filipe & Slumboy shut the hell up… eminem is a has-been, never really was tho. Respect tha fact that Mariah has her shit together. She could buy and sell his ENTIRE catalogue, his label, and his xm radio station, and not even have to budget afterwards…she got cake, and she make hers with her talent not off rips at other peoples game…
are you kidding? eminem has been and still is “highest selling & and richest artist” out. he is also the “highest rated” vocal star in the world, even with the fact that he has been out of it 4 a few years… mariah carey is good 2… but dont post stupid shit that has no proof to back it up.. he talks about her coz of the shit that happened between them in the past, he also talks about every1 else hes had a relationship with … for her to think he is “obsessed” with her is a a big overstatement…
Sources: http://www.rapbasement.com/eminem/060109-eminem-has-become-the-past-decades-highest-selling-artist-beating-out-the-beatles-and-jay-z.html
http://www.dashadyspot.com/news/2009/05/31/eminem-is-the-best-selling-artist-of-the-2000s/
Russel, only half your facts are true. Sure Eminem has sold more albums this decade (based on hype rather than talent), but there is no way he is the richest artist out. His estate is valued somewhere between 100-150 mill whereas Mariah is in in between 200-300 mill. Dont even bring Jay Z into this who is worth close to a billion. Jigga could buy/sell and make eminem his bitch for life.
Yeah like somebody like you would walk away if they called you names and made shit up about you… Scrawny boy. Nah gon’ head and ignore that. Punk!
WHo do u think u r?????
WOW are some of you people serious eme is still obssed with marih the godess …..she is a legend and lorenzo you are so right about the money mariah has…
I love Mariah !!!!!
Well guess what SLIMBOY?.. Eminem is not the oly one who went through hell to get where he is right now. So he should stop pitying himself already, as if it only happened to him.
He’s the only one who’s making his life miserable. He’s at where he wanted to be already, he should be proud of himself for proving those people who dissed and underestimated his talent wrong. But no, instead of moving on and helping himself, he kept his grudges and who still loses? ..him. He’s probably got lots of money, but he’s still the same old Eminem who’s very insecure of everything, and a coward for using his music to turn everything around and brainwashing people to make them believe that he’s the one telling the truth. I don’t know, he probably doesn’t like being rejected and by dissing those celebs in his songs makes him feel like he still wins?
Mariah Carey – Obsessed Lyrics
OBSESSED (Mariah Carey – C. Tricky Stewart – Terius “The-Dream” Nash)
I was like, “Why are you so obsessed with me?”
So oh oh oh oh
So oh oh oh oh
So oh oh oh oh
So oh oh oh oh
Will the real MC please step to the mic?
MC- You need an MC, place to be
MC the MC
All up in the blogs
Say we met at the bar
When I don’t even know who you are
Say we up in your house
Saying I’m up in your car
But you in LA but I’m out at Jermaine’s
I’m up in the A- you’re so so lame
and no on here even mentions your name
It must be the weed, it must be the E
cuz you be poppin, hood, you get it poppin’
Ooh boy why you so obsessed with me?
Boy I want to know- lying that you’re sexing me
when everybody knows
it’s clear that you’re upset with me
Ohh finally found a girl that you couldn’t impress
Last man on the earth- still couldn’t get this
You’re delusional, you’re delusional
Boy you’re losing your mind
It’s confusin yo, you’re confused you know
Why you wasting your time?
Got you all fired up with your Napoleon complex
See right through you like you’re bathin’ in windex
Ooh Ohh Ohh boy why you so obsessed with me?
And all the ladies sing, all the girls sing
Soo Oohhhh Soo Oohh Obsessed
You on your job, you hatin’ hard
Ain’t gon feed you, I’m gonna let you starve
Gaspin’ for air I’m ventilation
You out of breath, hope you ain’t waiting
Tellin’ the world how much you miss me
But we never were so why you trippin’
You a mom and pop, I’m a corporation
I’m the press conference, you a conversation
Ooh boy why you so obsessed with me?
And Boy I want to know- lying that you’re sexing me
when everybody knows it’s clear that you’re upset with me
Ohh finally found a girl that you couldn’t impress
Last man on the earth- still couldn’t get this
You’re delusional, you’re delusional
Boy you’re losing your mind
It’s confusing yo, you’re confused you know
Why you wasting your time?
Got you all fired up with your Napoleon complex
See right through you like you’re bathin’ in windex
Ooh Ohh Ohh boy why you so obsessed with me?
And all the ladies sing, and all the girls sing
Soo Oohhhh Soo Oohh Obsessed
Ooh boy why you so obsessed with me?
And Boy I want to know- lying that you’re sexing me
when everybody knows it’s clear that you’re upset with me
Ohh finally found a girl that you couldn’t impress
Last man on the earth- still couldn’t get this
You’re delusional, you’re delusional
Boy you’re losing your mind
It’s confusing yo, you’re confused you know
Why you wasting your time?
yaaaa! good job with those lyrics…i love mariah
Pretty disappointed with this single. I do love Mariah but this song doesn’t give her justice as far as her talent is concerned.
I know that Mariah and fans are trying to create a buzz but I am not obsessed with this song!.
Mariah Carey quit crying…Em is 10000x better than that loser husband of your’s…maybe you should reconsider and hook up with Em and give urself a better image =)
LMAO @ ‘russell’ for saying Eminem is the “high rated vocal star in the world” and is the “highest selling & and richest artist”. Please just think before you type next time.
FUCK EMINEM MARIAH ROCKS
He’s not obsessed with Mariah; he’s obsessed with being rejected by another woman who don’t want him.
I’m sorry your Mom wasn’t the best. And your girlfriend did want you at one point. Maybe the problem is you, Eminem. No amount of money or success will make you be anything worth respecting to some people. Mariah rejecting you reminds you that you are still being thrown out, just like garbage, and no amount of record sales or girls throwing themselves at you is going to erase that.
He said before that he peed on Mariah? That was one busy night, wasn’t it? Peeing on her and putting other stuff on her, all on the first time?
He needs to go back into rehab. Those drugs ate up his brain.
Anybody can make nude photos of Mariah with Photoshop. What does that prove? Voicemail messages? How do we know they are not some sound-alike that he had on the album? If the messages are real, who saves those? Crazy stalkers–that’s who!
You were not trash back then, Eminem, but you are now. So why don’t take some of that money and get your hurt feelings fixed.
Ok…….
i lik mariah but i lik eminem better.
i just think she shouldnt com up with the song obssessed cos she knew that eminem would come up wit somefing harder and much more promissing dan obssessed…… i just think y’all should shut the fuck up…. cos eminem is da best and always will be….. mariah’s fucking husband makes me sick he’s so bottas nick tries 2 SING bt he just cant. not good enough
oh and slimboy….. shut the fuck up cos neither know wot em’s ben through em’s de only person dat knows it
idiot boy
for real there’s some MC die-hard fans here…like that fagget on youtube says about britney spears; LEAVE HER ALONE LOL for real stop acting like if she was your friend she don’t even care about you lil bitches haha…okay i’m sure some hoes and fagget are gonna bs me but for real…i know a lil frak in in hollyhood sucks sucks on dick dose it dose it real good lol
WHATEVER!!!! EMINEM SUCKS!!!! MARIAH SOARS HIGH!!!! Mariah=GOOD MUSIC VS Eminem=ANNOYING MUSIC/NUISANCE…