Is anyone else getting a bit bored of all this stuff about Madonna adopting a boy from Malawi? It seems that Madonna is; she's even released a defensive statement in the hope that everyone stops yammering on about it.
As David Banda settles into his new life in Britain – probably wondering why it isn't sunny or warm like his old home and why everyone looks so sodding gloomy all the time – and preparing himself for a lifetime of having to listen to Guy Ritchie talking about Vinnie Jones at the dinner table and trying not to flinch every time Madonna moves her gnarled old hands near his face, Madonna has defended her adoption by saying that her trip to Malawi and the subsequent adoption has left her "overwhelmed," "inspired" and "ready to release a new album entitled Aww, Aren't Africans Cute?"
One of these isn't true.
Anyone with a functioning brain and a high tolerance for having stuff forced into it knows all about the Madonna Malawi Adoption Saga by now. In short, though, here it is again. Madonna went to Malawi to adopt a baby even though her publicist knew nothing about it and her husband was well narked off about it. Not as narked off as all the human rights people were, though; they tried to stop Madonna adopting her baby. But it was too late, and Madonna got custody of David Banda – the only orphan in the world to have a living father – and yesterday David Banda flew to Britain to start his new life of trying to work out if Madonna is gay or not.
Madonna's actions over the last few weeks have sparked off a flurry of activity in the press, and the public can't make its mind up about whether it's good that Madonna has taken David Banda from Malawi into a life far more luxurious and full of horses to fall off than he could have expected at home, or bad that Madonna seems to be doing nothing more than jumping on a celebrity bandwagon by adopting a brown kid from a hot country. And now Madonna wants to get everyone to shut up about it by writing an open letter on her website. Since you have to listen to some rubbishy old techno music when you visit Madonna's website, we've kindly republished the letter here:
My husband and I began the adoption process many months prior to our trip to Malawi. I did not wish to disclose my intentions to the world prior to the adoption happening as this is a private family matter. After learning that there were over one million orphans in Malawi, it was my wish to open up our home and help one child escape an extreme life of hardship, poverty and in many cases death, as well as expand out family.
Nevertheless, we have gone about the adoption procedure according to the law like anyone else who adopts a child. Reports to the contrary are totally inaccurate. The procedure includes an l8 month evaluation period after which time we hope to make this adoption permanent. This was not a decision or commitment that my family or I take lightly.
I am overwhelmed and inspired by my trip to Malawi and hope that it helps bring attention to how much more the world needs to do to help the children of Africa.
My heartfelt thanks for all the good wishes I have received and I hope the press will allow my family some room for us to experience the joy we feel to have David home.
Perhaps now that Madonna has finally opened up about her visit to Malawi and her adoption of David Banda, all the constant attention she's been receiving will die down – at least until Madonna is able to sanction an exclusive interview and photoshoot with a glossy magazine for the appropriate sum of money, of course. However, there's one horrifying truth that hasn't been raised by this Madonna Malawi adoption talk – now that she's got three mouth to feed, Madonna is going to have to recoup the money somehow. And you thought that her concert tickets were wildly overpriced now.
[story by Stuart Heritage]