Baby David Banda has been under Madonna's care for six months now, so it's probably fair to assume that his life is now a carousel of golden tuxedos, yoga, all the blessed Kabbalah water he wants and endless Arthur And The Invisibles screenings.
But just because David Banda's first words were probably "Look! Ramblers! Fetch the shotgun, Daddy!", it doesn't mean that he'll be allowed to forget the misery, death and poverty that was his life in Malawi before Madonna came to his rescue. With this in mind, Madonna has taken David Banda on a whirlwind tour of Malawi just so that David will never forget how lucky he is that an elderly woman in a nasty leotard and her useless movie director husband decided to adopt him seemingly on some kind of whim once.
Aside from misguidedly deciding to save the world and getting a pube-haired boyband member to write her new album, Madonna hasn't really done a whole lot over the last few months, so it's easy to forget the shitstorm she created last year when she went to Malawi to adopt a little boy.
By appearing to slightly bend international adoption law in order to score herself a little brown baby, Madonna incurred the wrath of everyone from David Banda's biological father to Angelina Jolie, from every human rights group ever to her own husband. But in the end Madonna triumphed, and David Banda was flown to Britain even though Madonna hadn't really properly adopted him yet.
In the six months since then, everything has quietened down. Common consensus seems to suggest that, even if David Banda was only adopted to satisfy one of Madonna's numerous faddy crazes, he'll have a better crack at life as Madonna's adopted son than if he stayed in Malawi. But that doesn't mean that Madonna will let David Banda forget about his life in Malawi – earlier today she arrived in the country with her new son, possibly in order to visit a number of care centres she is involved with.
But, as Forbes reports, Madonna couldn't help rubbing Malawi noses in it by arriving in the most ostentatious manner possible:
The pop diva arrived on a silver jet in this impoverished southern African nation. A heavy police presence kept journalists at a distance. However, a small child was seen being carried down the steps of the jet, followed by Madonna, and a child's seat was loaded into the waiting car.
A silver jet? How dare she! Doesn't Madonna know the bitter jealousies that she'll stir up amongst the Malawi people by arriving in jet made out of silver? Next time, let's hope Madonna learns her lesson by turning up in a jet made of cheaply-produced wicker, or by riding all the way to Malawi on the back of a donkey.
Still, though, the trip to his homeland is bound to do David Banda some good. As well instilling a sense of social responsibility in him at an early age, the Malawi visit will also be a cruel reminder that this is where he'll end up if he ever dares to laugh at Mummy's copy of Body Of Evidence ever again.