It might as well be. She can’t drive, stay clean or even whip up a nice steak and ale pie – and now she can’t even act. Lindsay Lohan’s new Hollywood film has just been cut loose by its backers before it’s even been made. The ‘firecrotch’ has yet to comment.

Before her face turned into a Mel Gibson mugshot, Lindsay Lohan had some promise in the movies. She was an enchanting child actress and seemed at least different enough to sidestep ‘doing a Drew Barrymore’ and go straight to ‘doing a Christina Ricci’. Then came the lost clothes, the drugs, bulimia and finally the crummy driving. In professional terms it all went tits up.

Not only is Lohan's latest movie Georgia Rule currently languishing with a UK release date somewhere north of never, she can’t even seem to get through the rigours of actually making a film anymore. Not good when your CV consists of Actress/Flasher and not a lot else.

Recently Lohan's been better known for taking all the drugs and flashing her dust jacket than actually doing anything resembling acting. Apparently ventilating your lady bits and partying harder than Keith Moon on a weekend excursion from the afterlife is par for the course in LaLa Land these days. That is until you have to toddle off to rehab and big films with your name above the title need to be put on hold. Fat backers with wallets as big as hatchbacks don’t like that, it ain’t good for business.

Worse still, for their lovely reformed Lindsay to then leave rehab and just days later be snapped partying like a banshee in Las Vegas is embarrassing. Fat backers or not, they had already put the filming of Poor Things on hold once and twice would be pushing it even for Robert Downey Jr. Poor wasted Lindsay didn’t stand a chance.

A leaked email from Poor Things’ set designer Foutaine Beauchamp to the film’s merchandise vendors reads thus:

“Poor Things has been cancelled. Sorry to be the harbinger of bad news, but I just received a call from Jacky Gilardi, the producer, pulling the plug on the ill-fated film. Apparently, Ms. Lohan's antics in Las Vegas over the weekend have scared the bond companies and all of the funding has been pulled. I look forward to working together in the future and trust our next project will not be as fraught with difficulty.”

If she isn’t already in prison for her doughnut driving, we await a rebuttal from Lohan, her publicist, or possibly her vagina; it’s vocal enough and liable to soon need a holiday in the tropics to recover, so we’ll happily hold our breath. With the stinky state Lohan looks all the time, if she’s in the area sunning herself in a dress resembling a weightlifter’s belt, maybe you should do the same.

Read More:

Lohan’s New Film ‘Cancelled’ – Evening Echo