That is to say that Lindsay Lohan?s attorney has resigned. And, really, can you blame the poor woman?
You?d resign too. Imagine all she's been through. It must be bad enough looking yourself in the mirror every morning and remembering that your job basically involves defending Lindsay Lohan with a straight face. But then getting to court, realising that Lindsay Lohan has written swearwords across her fingernails and then getting zapped with her accusatory wet-eyed zombie piranha death-stare at the moment of sentencing?
That?d just be too much for anyone to take. So to former Lohan attorney Shawn Chapman Holley, we say this: nobody blames you. And to Lindsay Lohan we say this: please represent yourself from now on. That?d be hilarious.
Lindsay Lohan might be staring down the barrel of 90 days in jail, followed swiftly by 90 days in a residential rehab facility to wean herself off all the drugs she started taking during her 90 days in jail, but heaven knows she ain't going down like that.
Fresh from quoting the UN?s universal declaration of human rights on her Twitter page, Lindsay Lohan has decided that, by hook or by crook, she's going to appeal against her sentence. And, obviously, that's going to be difficult because of all the indisputable evidence of her constant probation violations and hearing no-shows.
It's going to be so difficult, in fact, that Lindsay Lohan?s attorney Shawn Chapman Holley – the woman who Lindsay Lohan has spent much of this week crying and silently flapping her mouth at – has resigned in exasperation. It just goes to show that no amount of money is worth the unending torment of spending even a second in the close proximity of someone as flat-out awful as Lindsay Lohan. People reports:
Thursday afternoon Holley suddenly resigned as Lohan’s lawyer… However, it seems Lohan may have already hired a new attorney in her criminal case, according to police. “We got a call yesterday from a female identifying herself as Tiffany Feder-Cohen,” says L.A. Sheriff’s spokesman Steve Whitmore. “She introduced herself as Lindsay Lohan’s new attorney.?
So, because Shawn Chapman Holley can return to dealing with less bothersome criminals, and the new attorney can make money hand over fist by halfheartedly trying to stop an idiot from getting an inevitable prison sentence, hopefully this will have a happy ending for everyone involved. Apart from Lindsay Lohan, obviously, because She'll almost definitely be molested by an obese lesbian arsonist at least 12 times during her jail sentence. But two out of three?s quite good.
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Dallas says
>heaven knows she ain