Leona Lewis doesn’t care what you think, especially if you’re a lawyer.
Lawyers don’t have vision. Leona Lewis has vision. Leona Lewis has a vision of herself riding a horse onto the stage during her UK tour, and she’s NOT going to wear a hard hat, no matter what you stuffy old lawyers say.
Got it?
What do lawyers know anyway? It’s not as though Leona Lewis represents a significant studio investment, and has a history of mishaps like getting punched in the head by random douchebags or, you know, falling off horses, is it?
What’s the worst that could happen? Apart from Leona Lewis taking a tumble off Black Beauty, skidding in some fresh horse dung and spilling her brains out into the laps of the enraptured grannies and tweenies in the front row of the 02 Centre, triggering some sort of equine zombie apocalypse?
Apart from that, we mean, what’s the worst that can happen?
God, these stupid, stuffy old lawyers with their LAWS and their BOOK-LEARNING and their stupid, stuffy old CONCERN FOR LEONA’S SAFETY.? They probably make Leona so sick she needs a nice canter round a paddock just to calm down.
According to The Daily Star, Leona couldn’t get insurance for the stage act:
“She wanted to kick off her show on horseback, partly as a film sequence and then live on stage, [but] health and safety officials wouldn't let her ride in the studio without a helmet […] A load of lawyers tried to fine-tune the idea but Leona didn't want to wear a hard hat. In the end, she had to sign a contract saying she wouldn't be insured should she fall off.”
And yet it’s fine for random members of the public to throw knives and regurgitate household objects live on stage for Britain’s Got Talent. Simon Cowell must have SUPER lawyers.
In the end, though, it really is too easy to poke fun at Leona Lewis. We get the impression that she’s a genuinely nice – if a little malleable – girl with a wonderful vocal range, a professional attitude and, somewhere quite deep down, a personality. And at least she’s taking the initiative with this horse/stage/no hard hat thing.
But wait – what’s this?
It has also been reported that the ‘Happy’ singer was unhappy with her males [sic] dancers wearing only white pants during a routine involving a 15ft swan. The source explained: ‘Leona didn't feel comfortable with the dancers wearing white pants and there was a bit of a row with the choreographer.’
Oh for God’s sake. A live horse AND a fifteen-foot swan AND male dancers in white pants? Who does Leona Lewis think she is, Lady Gaga? THE ACTUAL QUEEN? We take it all back. Leona Lewis, just wear the bloody hard hat, all right?
Silly mare.
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The Scumbag says
You had me at “roughshod”.
diane says
He wasn’t a douchebag so much as mentally ill (and later sectioned). (Why yes, I *do* always spoil the fun!)
But if she’s not happy with the dancers only wearing pants, maybe they could wear hard hats?