Even though comedy is essentially subjective, there are still a few golden rules. For instance, monkey butlers are funny to everyone, while former sitcom stars yelling "He's a nigger he's a nigger he's a nigger" at hecklers – not so much.
Someone should have probably mentioned that to Michael Richards. Had his stand-up routine featured more chimps in bow ties walking around the stage holding silver trays and less disturbingly angry racist tirades, he probably wouldn't be in so much trouble at the moment. But, as Michael Richards is discovering, you can't turn back time when you've been caught on YouTube yelling that he'd like to stick a fork up the rectum of an African American, and so that's why Michael Richards is going all-out to apologise to everyone he can, including ringing up Al Sharpton to say "yeah, sorry about all that racist stuff." Trouble is, though, it doesn't look as if Al Sharpton is really buying it.
We thought that Larry David was supposed to be the wilfully offensive one from the Seinfeld lot, but that shows what we know – he's been absolutely blown out of the water by Michael Richards – Kramer from Seinfeld – who, in the space of a couple of minutes, managed to outrage just about everyone with a set of ears. You know the story by now – Michael Richards interrupted a man heckling him at a recent stand-up performance by shouting the word "nigger" at him seven times until most of the audience left. And now everyone on the planet is pretty angry with him.
Well, everyone except for Mel Gibson, who we're guessing must be relieved that the heat's finally off him. But where Mel Gibson had the fortune of being dangerously drunk when he slagged off all the fucking Jews, Michael Richards has no such excuse and so his methods of apologising to everyone have to vary slightly. You'll remember that Mel Gibson rushed off to rehab, then apologised to all the Jewish leaders and then gave an explanation of his actions on TV, but with Michael Richards it's a little different.
For a start there's no rehab for people who scream "Fifty years ago we'd have you upside down with a fucking fork up your ass" at people who've paid to see you tell jokes, so that step's out. Secondly Michael Richards has already given a sort of boggle-eyed semi-apology on David Letterman, so that step's out too. That just leaves apologising to the figureheads of the offended groups, so that's what Michael Richards has done – according to reports, Michael Richards called both Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton to say sorry at the behest of public relations guru Howard Rubenstein. But the call to Al Sharpton probably didn't go as well as Michael Richards would have liked, as Al Sharpton tells the New York Daily News:
"I cannot accept his apology. He called me yesterday to say sorry, but it's not my place to accept that on behalf of all blacks. I can forgive, but I'm not the victim here. What he said hurt a lot of people. What's frightening is that this is not some guy in some small town in the South. This is Kramer. This is the guy we're all comfortable with, we laugh with and enjoy. But the fact he called me to apologise is a step in the right direction. Whether he is sincere, or this is just a save-my-career move, time will tell."
Of course, it doesn't take a genius to know that Michael Richards is in a lot more trouble than Mel Gibson ever was. Although he's certainly not as famous as Mel Gibson, Michael Richards was unfortunate enough to have his racist outburst plastered all over the internet within days of making it. The real difference between Mel Gibson and Michael Richards, though, is simple. Where Michael Richards offended a racial group and then stopped, Mel Gibson had the sense to carry on and hilariously offend women by calling one of them "Sugar Tits." And you just can't stay angry with someone so inventively misogynistic, can you? If we were Michael Richards, we'd rush out and shout "Toffee minge!" at a girl right now, just to level the playing field a bit.
Read more:
Dis & Make Up? Ain't Easy, Al Tells Kramer – New York Daily News