Hey Sugar Tits! Mel Gibson Goes To Rehab

Mel Gibson Jew Rehab Sugar TitsWe've all experienced that "I did what?!" feeling the morning after a night out on the town. From "I fell asleep hugging a kebab?" to "I stole the lifesize Colonel Saunders from outside KFC?" it's a universal feeling. Just ask Mel Gibson.

Only Mel Gibson's "I did what?" moment on Saturday morning must have lasted a little longer than most, in that it included getting drunk, driving his car about too fast, getting stopped by the police, trying to run away, offering to have anal sex with a policeman, calling another police officer "sugar tits," making ownership claims on all of Malibu and then launching into an angry, potentially career-ending rant about how the fucking Jews are responsible for every single conflict in the history of the world. Oh come on, we've all been there. But now Mel Gibson has seen the error of his ways, and has reportedly entered rehab.

Mel Gibson is one of those actors who everyone thinks they know. He's Mad Max! He's Riggs from Lethal Weapon! He's The Man Without A Face! Or at least that's what Mel Gibson was, now everyone just knows him as the pissed-up anti-Semitic Sugar Tits guy.

You all know the story by now: Mel Gibson makes The Passion Of The Christ: It Was The Jews What Done It, Mel Gibson denies that the film is anti-Semitic, Mel Gibson plans to make a TV show about the Holocaust until his Dad is outed as a Holocaust-denier, Mel Gibson is arrested for drink driving and then tells the arresting officer:

"My life is fucked. I'm not going to get in your car… You motherfucker. I'm going to fuck you… Fucking Jews… The Jews are responsible for all the wars in the world. Are you a Jew?"

Then Mel Gibson calls a female police officer "Sugar Tits" before waking up the next morning feeling a bit sheepish and says sorry for slagging off all the Jews like that, only for a bunch of superbly talented cats to write a bunch of Mel Gibson Haikus. And now it's been reported that Mel Gibson has entered a booze rehabilitation program or, as his slave Alan Nierob slightly overdramatically put it:

"He has entered into an ongoing program of recovery. The guy is trying to stay alive."

So now that Mel Gibson has decided to sort out his booziness – thought to be the reason he agreed to star in What Women Want – the big question Hollywood is asking is: What are we supposed to do with Mel Gibson now? Public opinion seems to be treading the narrow divide between 'let's leave Mel Gibson alone' and 'let's throw rocks at Mel Gibson until we see bone.'

On the lenient side is Disney, which seems to want to limit the damage that Apocalypto – the forthcoming Mel Gibson dead language extravaganza – is bound to receive. And on the angrier side of things, unsurprisingly, is Abraham Foxman from the Anti-Defamation League, who said:

"Mel Gibson's apology is unremorseful and insufficient. It's not a proper apology because it does not go to the essence of his bigotry and his anti-Semitism. We would hope that Hollywood now would realise the bigot in their midst and that they will distance themselves from this anti-Semite."

Luckily for Mel Gibson, the hecklerspray PR machine has some free advice for him on how to turn this mess around: quickly make a charming road movie called The Drunken Jewish Adventures Of Sugar Tits And Cherry Balls, where Mel Gibson and a woman whose tits are actually made of sugar get wankered on tequila and drive down to Israel to learn important lessons like how David Baddiel is funnier than Frank Skinner and how saying that you own Malibu is a bit fahklempt.

Read more:

Gibson enters rehab after DUI arrest – CNN

[story by Stuart Heritage] 

Headline Name: Email: subscribed: 0 We respect your privacy Email Marketingby GetResponse

Comments